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Thread: Anxiety and depression advice needed.

  1. #1

    Exclamation Anxiety and depression advice needed.

    I feel so confused and depressed about everything. I'm losing touch with reality. I'm 17 (turning 18) and I just left school last month, all my friends have went their ways (Honestly, I haven't had a real one in almost a year) and I have no one to talk to. I haven't visited this site for a few months now but I need advice and more than that I need friends. I have anxiety and I've never been properly diagnosed with any sort of depression but under these current circumstances I tend to spend a majority of time mildly to heavily depressed, at it's worst I lose the will to even move.

    I'm out of sync with daily life, I spend nearly every day inside and it's driving me crazy. I've been told by everybody that this is all a phase and I don't doubt that it is, but I need to know what steps I have to take to get past it. It varies throughout the day (I tend to get heavily depressed around evening and it may or may not persist depending on how well I can distract myself) but right now I'm as lonely as it gets.

    If anyone has been through this I'd love to hear about your experiences and beating it. Embarrassingly, I still can't send or answer PMs on here and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to put my email here, but for the time being you can talk to me via this thread. Every advice you guys can give is welcome. Thanks.

    - Bethany.

  2. #2


    It sounds like you need to go out and meet some new friends. Being inside all day every day isn't helping that, is it?

    You don't mention if you have a job for the summer, or you're looking for one, or you're going to college after the summer or what, but I would recommend going out and looking for a job if you can. Any experience is good experience for a CV, and if you can make some cash in the meantime that's even better.

    You should look for clubs local to your area, or an evening class, to try and meet some new people. Honestly, going outside and just being with people will make you feel so much better.

    If you've not seen your old friends in a while, why not give them a text and see if you can all meet up for coffee or something soon? I bet it would be lovely to catch up and see how folk are getting on - even better if you can get a job before then and boast about it

    Good luck!

    Also, you should totally go and see your doctor about the depression thing!

  3. #3


    Thank you so much. I'm trying to go to this college in September, I've already been for an interview and it made me really hopeful, I applied for a photography course and brought a portfolio and everything. The people were so nice and the building is great, it had a great little cafeteria. ^^ But see the thing is that's months away and I don't know if they will accept me or not, though I try and stay optimistic about it. I don't know if there's anywhere I could go locally to meet people, I'm incredibly shy. People usually have to start the conversation for me which will be why I'm alone now, because nobody wanted to.. v.v

  4. #4


    People often confuse phases for actual disorders. I am like you, I believe I have several disorders, but have yet to get them diagnosed. I've heard warnings about letting them be undiagnosed. I can't afford to go to and get that done. I wouldn't be able to afford prescriptions either.

    If you can afford the trip to get diagnosed, I'd say go for it.

  5. #5

  6. #6


    I agree about going out and meeting people (or skype, since its at least talking with people). I learned how depressing not really having people to talk to can be, and never want to fall into that hole.

    I agree about finding a group(s) at a college or elsewhere to meet people, I'm somewhat shy myself and thus had good luck with groups, I think in part as some try to get you involved and the fact you see most of the people every week or month, so can warm up to them and be less shy.

    I'd also say try to get out and take a walk, or go to a park or something, nature has been shown to help make people happier before, especially against non-nature. Probably not going to exactly be a cure-all, but a little air never killed anyone that wasn't an alien =p.

  7. #7



    Please don't feel like giving up, or feel like its not gonna get better . I've moved schools a lot and been put into situations where I'm alone with nothing to do. My advice would be, its a lot easier to make friends, and do rly fun things with people if you are in a group, like college, or a job, or even part-time classes. If I could recommend one thing, it would be try to get into some kind of group like that first, no one finds it easy to randomly find friends just walking around town or something especially me. Also, don't feel out of sync with life, because life isn't defined, you just are in a different part than other people, no reason you can't simply change your activity schedule and be 'in sync' with life

  8. #8


    I hate it when well meaning family or friends say it's only a phase. When I had to see a psychiatrist, sent by my mom, he said I would outgrow my infantilism. He was wrong. Most things aren't static or forever, but for the present, I would take your depression seriously. You've gotten good advise from the previous posters. I can suffer from depression as well, and I know I have to keep myself busy. During the school year I work two jobs, but during the summer, I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands.

    As some have suggested, I enjoy going for walks. We have a wonderful hiking/biking trail, and I usually get out on my bike every morning, first thing. When I come home, I shower and shave, and then have a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper. I sometimes watch The View with my wife. In the afternoon I either do chores or work on my novel, which I've been writing for the last five years. When I retire for good, I'm going to join a local writer's club. I may take a class on creative writing from our local junior college. I'd also like to pick up the guitar again and take lessons.

    My point is, get out there and do things. There are opportunities, even volunteering, and this would put you with some very nice people. Don't accept your depression because it can ruin you. Fight back, and remember, we're here for you. You have a good start with all of us as your new friends.

  9. #9


    Hi Bethany:
    I'm sorry you are feeling depressed right now. I also think that getting out and doing things, like the other posters have said, is the right thing to do. Eating healthy foods that you like can help, along with exercise.

    I have suffered through bouts of depression since childhood. Was diagnosed some twenty years ago and was put on meds and also went to a counselor.

    I know your desire not to be on meds as I am not fond of popping pills myself but for some people, meds are temporary until counseling has a chance to work. I am one of those that have to be on the meds, probably for life, as without them I can fall back into depression. Found that out the hard way.

    Another thing that helped me was reading the book, "Feeling good, the new mood therapy" by David Burns, MD. A counselor I had some years ago had me read that and it brought me out of the depression that I was feeling at the time. I go back and read chapters when I feel myself starting to fall back.

    Please take care.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I don't really like the idea of taking meds.
    Meds are not the only option, therapy is often underrated and really helps a lot of people for example. Meds sometimes help too, although I completely understand being apposed to the idea. Just try not to knock something that could really help you; also it may be important to look at exactly why you are apposed to meds. Getting diagnosed would be the first step though, as much as this may suck, it is currently a necessary step in health care, at least to some extent. You won't like be forced on medication you don't want just because you have a diagnosis (at least not to my knowledge) just to make that clear.

    Don't rely on what just anyone says (this is just a phase), a lot of people confuse what actual disorders really are, also erroneous stereotypes don't help -- the general publics knowledge of psychology can sometimes be really misinformed. Physiological disorders are actually a serious thing and should probably be handled as such, there is (hopefully) a reason that psychologists/psychiatrists specialize in and go to school for this. And as I side note, even if you symptoms were to not actually fall under a specific disorder/diagnosis, or are not qualified/whatever (not that this is necessarily the case), a good physiologist/psychiatrist would be able determine that as well, and that knowledge would be equally valuable in getting the help you need, so don't think you like have anything to lose.

    I struggle with similar issues so I certainly feel for you. Please don't hesitate to seek additional help, I know it can be hard, and potential social stigma can make it even harder (insert "screw society" remark here), but this is about you getting the help you need and deserve. I hope you can beat whatever your going through soon (in whatever way works).

    I wish you the best.
    Last edited by rawr1; 10-Jun-2013 at 04:34. Reason: spellin, etc

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