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Thread: Does this sound unreasonable/unstable to you?

  1. #1

    Default Does this sound unreasonable/unstable to you?

    So, what I'm about to post is essentially word for word, a conversation I had with my girlfriend earlier. Make no mistake, after almost 3 years, this relationship is essentially dead. I'm waiting for the correct time to end it and leave as little baggage as possible. I don't think there is enough time in one lifetime to waste it being unhappy. Anyways, here's the conversation, with a little preface:

    Earlier today, I was just dozing in bed (love lazy sunday afternoons) and my girlfriend asked me to cook her something for lunch. Now, to some of you, that's no big deal, but when you cook every single meal for her and she doesn't cook at all, it gets under your skin. So, I said "Can you cook something? I cook pretty much all of the meals". After a bit of going back and forth, I finally agreed to go cook her a chicken burger.

    I tossed it down in the pan, and cooked it until it was finished, turned off the burner and flicked a bun in the toaster oven to cook. I returned to the bedroom and told her that her burger was cooked and the bun was in the toaster oven. She asked me to go get it for her, and of course I said no, I always have to be the one to hand everything to her. She got fed up and went out to get her burger.

    This is where things picked up, she went out to get the burger, saw it was a little burnt on the bottom, and all hell broke loose. We fight for a little bit, and then she says "You burnt it in spite of me, because you're crooked from earlier and wanted to be spiteful".

    And here we are, absolute immature nonsense that doesn't make any sense, what-so-ever. She claims that I burned her food because I didn't want to get out of bed. The worst part about it all is the fact that we legitimately fought over this. Looking back at it, I can't even imagine what I was thinking. I was fighting with her because she thought I was out to purposely piss her off with a chicken burger! My god I need a hole in the head, or maybe 6. Basically, I've now realized that there is no point in fighting with this girl, she will go to great lengths in order to justify every single sentence that comes out of her mouth, even sentences about targeting her with a burnt chicken burger....

    I don't really know what else to say... What do you all think of this lunacy? I must say that I'm really not impressed with it, and I think it might be time to cut my losses.

    -Ron

  2. #2
    CrinklySiren

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    Unless you're married... I would leave >_< I mean me and my wife fought for 4 years non stop but we really didnt wanna be part of the failed marriage statistic so we worked hard at it and now we are happy.. But if she were my girlfriend and not my wife, I probably would've left her a long time ago. I know that probably sounds bad but I do love her with all my heart and over the years that feeling of having made a promise made us completely inseparable, but had it not been for that, I probably wouldn't have decided to make it work... Though I will say that in the 4 years me and my wife fought, we fought about my little lifestyle, my gender fluidity, my friends and her jealousy situations, and often times we both threatened each other with suicide and divorce and went to various psychologists... But it never got as ridiculous as what you're dealing with :S fighting over a chicken burger and 3 years of no compromise with cooking >_< I would seriously start your search again

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronbeast View Post
    I think it might be time to cut my losses.

    -Ron
    Kind of... I guess it's about time.

    It just sounds like that she's always looking for a way to make you feel sorry somehow. She's the important one, not you... and yes, getting mad over this is rather silly.

    I just wonder: What are you waiting for? Which way of not leaving some baggage at all. Also, what do you think she's going to do in this case anyway, to be honest? ^^
    Even if you're trying to be really caring and polite at that point, where you decide to end this: There is no guarantee that she'll do the same. And if she always "ticks" this way... it's very unlikely anyway.

    As long as you don't want to fix it up with her, but as you said, that this relationship is already dead.... Just get the hell out. Which reason should there be to endure this any longer?

    My 0,02$

  4. #4

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    My two cents - Shes crazy leave now. Your not doing any favors "waiting for the right moment." Trust me.

  5. #5

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    Well, it sounds as if this relationship really has lost most/all meaning to you, so, all burgers aside, ending it might not be the worst idea.
    „Waiting for the correct time“ can make things even worse, and honestly, to me it sounds like both of you reached a point where you´re simply searching for a justification to quit as soon as possible. If you´re unhappy, tell her.
    No need to keep a zombie-relationship alive.
    All it does is eat. And what does it eat? Time. Your lifetime.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Well, it sounds as if this relationship really has lost most/all meaning to you, so, all burgers aside, ending it might not be the worst idea.
    „Waiting for the correct time“ can make things even worse, and honestly, to me it sounds like both of you reached a point where you´re simply searching for a justification to quit as soon as possible. If you´re unhappy, tell her.
    No need to keep a zombie-relationship alive.
    All it does is eat. And what does it eat? Time. Your lifetime.

  6. #6

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    Sounds like she's the Queen of the house and you have been catering to her highness. You are now waking up and realizing that she's quite demanding and spoiled. Tell me, does she do things for you or the household like the laundry, dishes or cleaning? If not, then it sounds like a one sided relationship and without compromise, your relationship is destined to fail. With what you said and taking in the above, talk things over and if she can't help out, then it might be time to cut ties.

  7. #7

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    This is just my opinion but I would get the hell out of there ASAP. You said you were looking for the best time to end it so as to leave very little baggage. If its all the same to you, I would say screw the baggage and just GTFO of there.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by daLira View Post
    I just wonder: What are you waiting for? Which way of not leaving some baggage at all. Also, what do you think she's going to do in this case anyway, to be honest? ^^
    What I'm trying to avoid is putting either one of us out on the street with nowhere to go. While I do feel that most of my feelings towards her are fading, I'm still a genuinely nice human being and would like to make sure that she lands on her feet, no matter how poisoned this relationship has gotten.

  9. #9

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    Leave now, people who blow up over small issues like this are NOT stable and these are often warning signs for potentially abusive partners. I know you want to be nice and not make her homeless but you need to look out for yourself over anyone else and if that means leaving her in a less than desirable situation then that is something for her to deal with and shouldn't be a concern of yours.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronbeast View Post
    What I'm trying to avoid is putting either one of us out on the street with nowhere to go. While I do feel that most of my feelings towards her are fading, I'm still a genuinely nice human being and would like to make sure that she lands on her feet, no matter how poisoned this relationship has gotten.
    Oh well, it's really nice and caring of you to think that way. But I'd really advice to be no more Mr. nice guy.

    And in the end she has to learn anyway how to survive on her own, no matter what you do or not... okay, but you're right at some point, no need to be... the ass. But my honest advice is: Really don't be to nice at all with this. If there's a problem in the future she will run back to you, by a very high chance, since you're the "Nice guy", you'll always help her, no matter what.

    I don't know how often you got this kind of problems in your relationship with her, per day or week. But... doesn't it stress you over time way too much?
    In your case I'd really work on parting ways. Something like paying her rent for 1 month+ in advance, get her things in this place, or your one's, if you rather would like to change your home ;)
    That's super duper nice and would be plenty enough of time for her to think about on how to survive on her own, i.e. to pay the rent 1 month later, imho.

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