I am finding no pleasure in the idea of wearing or using diapers. I have not actually worn them yet because I have a roommate but no longer feel the desire to wear them. I know that everyone fought it at one point or another and it came back or whatever, but I'm not even trying to fight the urge. The urge just isn't there. I tried peeing in a towel and felt no satisfaction and immediatly regretted it. I'm confused and conflicted. At first I would alternate between being interested in diapers and uninterested in diapers, but a week later there is never any interest. I just can't picture myself as a lover husband or father and wear diapers. When I think about my future, I don't think about diapers. I find myself just wanting a normal life.