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Thread: Conflicted

  1. #1

    Default Conflicted

    I am finding no pleasure in the idea of wearing or using diapers. I have not actually worn them yet because I have a roommate but no longer feel the desire to wear them. I know that everyone fought it at one point or another and it came back or whatever, but I'm not even trying to fight the urge. The urge just isn't there. I tried peeing in a towel and felt no satisfaction and immediatly regretted it. I'm confused and conflicted. At first I would alternate between being interested in diapers and uninterested in diapers, but a week later there is never any interest. I just can't picture myself as a lover husband or father and wear diapers. When I think about my future, I don't think about diapers. I find myself just wanting a normal life.

  2. #2

    Default

    I highly doubt your interest is gone forever. I too have periods where diapers are all I think about, other days, not so much. A couple months ago, I decided to do something I hadn't done for a while, wet my sanitary napkins a bit. I felt nothing. A day or two later, when I tried again, I got some satisfaction from it.

    But why can't you live a normal life WITH diapers? Most of the people here do, they go to school, hold down jobs, have relationships. Diapers are just another interest, a less common one yes, but still an interest. My mother, for example, loves purses. I personally don't understand why you would need twenty-five of them, but hey, that's what she likes. Some people like cars, some people like shoes, we like diapers.

  3. #3

    Default

    I would get around to actually wearing a diaper if I were you, DownsideWave. After all, using a towel as a "diaper" is nothing like wearing a real diaper.

    I don't obsess over diapers, but my interest does vary from time to time, i.e. sometimes I will end up going through multiple diapers in one day, and at other times, I will stick with underwear for days on end. It isn't ruled out that your interest could also vary, DownsideWave. Try wearing one of your diapers and see how you feel. Even if such a thing does not pique your interest, hang onto your diapers for an extended period of time in case you do develop an interest at a later time.

    It also isn't ruled out that you may have completely lost all interest in diapers, but again, I would try wearing one and giving things some time. I am new here, and I don't know you, DownsideWave, but even if it turns out that your loss of interest in diapers is permanent, my disposition toward you won't become unfavorable. In all honesty, I see diapers as a type of underwear; the taboo associated with adults wearing diapers doesn't seem to be predicated on any logical foundations as far as I am concerned. It is okay to wear boxer shorts. It is okay to wear a thong. It is okay to wear panties. It is okay to wear briefs. It is okay to wear diapers.



    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    I highly doubt your interest is gone forever. I too have periods where diapers are all I think about, other days, not so much. A couple months ago, I decided to do something I hadn't done for a while, wet my sanitary napkins a bit. I felt nothing. A day or two later, when I tried again, I got some satisfaction from it.

    But why can't you live a normal life WITH diapers? Most of the people here do, they go to school, hold down jobs, have relationships. Diapers are just another interest, a less common one yes, but still an interest. My mother, for example, loves purses. I personally don't understand why you would need twenty-five of them, but hey, that's what she likes. Some people like cars, some people like shoes, we like diapers.
    I agree that it is possible to live a normal life with diapers. We are simply dealing with a given field of interest and a type of underwear as far as I am concerned. Furthermore, there are people that also manage to live normal lives while enjoying other things that are considered to be taboo as well.

  4. #4

    Default

    It's entirely possible that the presence of your roommate is what's suppressing your desires, it's not uncommon for a situation like yours to cause these types of feelings.


    I'm going to play devil's advocate here, but maybe this hobby simply isn't for you anymore. If you really get no enjoyment, then perhaps taking a break from it would be wise. Better to be indifferent than to despise it, after all. My partner has told me about people she's known that were into it, but 'grew out' of it when their life started picking up. In some cases, that person had stayed the course and no longer indulges in any ABDL activities, and there aren't any less happy for it. The opposite is true as well, and the ones who 'quit' came back it to years down the road.

    As my friends above had said, you can be successful and lead a normal life regardless of what underwear you wear in your free time. Using myself as an example, I have a steady job, own my house, having a wonderful partner and live with two of my best friends, and go to various social gatherings. Meanwhile, on weekends, I'm in diapers and often playing baby. Nobody outside my household knows that, and how could they? As far as they can tell, I'm just a typical young woman living her life.

    The best thing you can do is to take some time and think about everything after taking in the words of everyone who gave you advice. We can give you 40,000 word essays on the benefits and drawbacks of this hobby, but in the end the only person who can decide what to do is you. Even if you do decide to quit, there's nothing stopping you from coming back later.

  5. #5

    Default

    I can't say I know exactly what you're feeling but we all know the similar feelings. Feeling normal isn't something that we feel too com, but that's kind of why we are all here. Support and make each other know that we aren't doing anything that hurts anyone. If you just don't find enjoyment in it or don't have the urge anymore - Put them away hidden in the back of your closet at least for a little while so you know you still have them if you ever get the interest back. It would really suck if you threw them away and it came back.

  6. #6

    Default

    From what you've said here, I think you're not telling us (or perhaps yourself) the truth. Why are you conflicted? If you don't want diapers, it's simple, don't wear them. There's no conflict and no need to ask about it. There's no prize for wearing diapers unless you really enjoy it. If you want them, you can deal with that feeling. If you don't want them, what is there to worry or post about?

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DownsideWave View Post
    I am finding no pleasure in the idea of wearing or using diapers. I have not actually worn them yet because I have a roommate but no longer feel the desire to wear them. I know that everyone fought it at one point or another and it came back or whatever, but I'm not even trying to fight the urge. The urge just isn't there. I tried peeing in a towel and felt no satisfaction and immediatly regretted it. I'm confused and conflicted. At first I would alternate between being interested in diapers and uninterested in diapers, but a week later there is never any interest. I just can't picture myself as a lover husband or father and wear diapers. When I think about my future, I don't think about diapers. I find myself just wanting a normal life.
    Okay folks, This guy has just let us into a part of him. He is/was a DL and if his desire to wear is gone, let it be gone. I think the ones that "always come back" are those who swear they are going to quit and force themselves into it. If he has no desire to wear let it be. Don't try to "lure" him back into it, don't tell him the desire WILL come back. if it does it does, if it doesn't it doesn't. We are all unique creatures and while we all share a liking for diapers, we are still all different from one another. DownsideWave I wish you the best if you should leave the site, or whatever in your future!

  8. #8

    Default

    The only question I would be asking myself would be 'why feel conflicted ?'
    If the desire isn't there then you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

    Hell, we've all at some point wished we didn't have this fetish and dreamed that we were normal.
    Maybe the desire will return or maybe it wasn't that strong in the first place, maybe it will return in a week or a year and maybe it will never be back but ask yourself this.

    Does any of it really matter when you have the opportunity to sit back and just see what happens ?

  9. #9
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DownsideWave View Post
    I am finding no pleasure in the idea of wearing or using diapers. I have not actually worn them yet because I have a roommate but no longer feel the desire to wear them. I know that everyone fought it at one point or another and it came back or whatever, but I'm not even trying to fight the urge. The urge just isn't there. I tried peeing in a towel and felt no satisfaction and immediatly regretted it. I'm confused and conflicted. At first I would alternate between being interested in diapers and uninterested in diapers, but a week later there is never any interest. I just can't picture myself as a lover husband or father and wear diapers. When I think about my future, I don't think about diapers. I find myself just wanting a normal life.
    It seems as though you are having trouble with acceptance. I use to have those exact same thoughts "how can i live a normal future life if i continue this way", and ever since i learned to accept that i enjoy doing this, I see a clear road ahead. But you arent alone in this, because as much as i love my lifestyle, i too lose the desire from time to time, its perfectly normal :P I mean you can't be expected to crave pizza all the time can you? Or you cant be expected to have a strong desire for video games all the time :P sometimes you wanna do something and sometimes you dont lol.

    Though judging by the fact that losing this desire is causing conflict within you, suggests that you are not happy with this lose of desire, and again reverts me back to my assumption that you are having self-acceptance issues, because its clear that you want to keep doing this but you fear that you cant lead a normal life if you do, and these are all related to how you feel about yourself. I mean who says you cant live a normal life or be a lover, husband or father?

    I mean take a look at my situation: I'm married and happy with my wife, she knows about my lifestyle, we have been married/together for nearly 5/6 years, I have a full time job and im a part time student, i lead a social life in both the Little/ABDL lifestyle AND the vanilla lifestyle. I'm not trying to brag, im just trying to give you hope that you can live a normal life and be into what you're into, because wearing diapers is a part of who you are but doesn't define you as a person. You first have to come to understand that there is no such thing as normal... wanting a normal life is like wanting an easy life, its just not something that exists, the words normal and easy, when pertaining to life, are only given the meaning we give them. I believe my life is pretty normal and pretty easy, but my friends look at my life and think "i dont know how you do it". We all have a different definition of normal which only suggests that "normal" is a subjective term. I have a friend who thinks its normal to be with a guy who has cheated on her more than 20 times, just because she thinks she can't do better than him. :P I personally think its destructive, but who am I to say what is normal?

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