After lurking this forum for only a couple of weeks and learning more about this same "interest" I happen to share with all of you, I think it's time for me to finally make my introduction here. I ask that you bare with me here, as I have a little bit of trouble when it comes to talking about myself or trying to explain something to someone. But I guess that's what makes this place special, in that you come here to learn more about yourself and what exactly you're going through, and what better way to do that than to tell your story to others.
Ever since I was five years old, I've had this strange addiction to wearing.......diapers. Heh, even just saying the name itself doesn't sound right. Guess I'm still going through that self-accepting part of this whole thing. I don't know what it was that got me so into them at the time. All I knew was that I just liked to wear them. It wasn't because I didn't want to grow up, or because I hated having to use the bathroom now. I just like to wear them. But that feeling only grew and grew, even after I started sneaking them into the bathroom at night when everyone else was asleep, or whenever I happened to have the house to myself or with very little interruption. Being the second oldest in a family with seven brothers and sisters, well, there were plenty of diapers to go around. Once every couple of months I did this, until I could no longer fit in them and the last of my little brothers became too old for them.
I wanted to believe that this was a good thing for me, though. Not only would I not have to fight against the urges to wear anymore, but even if I happened to give in once again, there wouldn't be anymore for me to take. I thought it was a good thing, until I came across a completely different problem. I didn't know what the exact term was for the certain "problem" I had at night, or that it was an actual labeled condition in itself. All I know is that it came not too long after I couldn't wear anymore. I started having these dreams. These "wet dreams".
Now what exactly would these have to do with my urges to wear? That's just it. Most of, if not all of my wet dreams had to do with diapers. Whether it would be me wearing them, or even another girl wearing them, I would wake up wet in the morning, two times a week, for at least three to four years. The wetness was never enough to actually wet my bed though, and there would be some weeks, rarely a month or two, where I would wake up completely dry. But the problem would still always come back to haunt me. I knew that these dreams had something to do with it, but I wanted to ignore it. I knew that the answer was to wear protection at night, but I thought that it meant specifically, diapers. I never wanted to have to give into them again, so I dealt with my little problem. I also felt that if I told my mom about it, I would risk her finding out that I liked to wear them. Not to mention that I shared a room with my little brothers, with little to no privacy. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I got myself a job again and my very own room for the first time, and it wasn't very long after that the urges to wear again came back to me. Except this time, it was stronger than ever. The only thing that was holding be back from buying my very first pack was my own car and a driver's license to go get one. I had to do something though. Thinking about going and buying a pack every single day and never actually doing anything wasn't all that fun and games for me. So I did what I thought I would never do and seeked help online for these.......urges I had.
Then I found this place.
Two packs of Depends later, here I am. With your help, I talked to my mom about the problems I had at night, and she was totally understanding about it and also agreed that I needed to wear some sort of protection. The next time we went to the store, she left me to go take care of my business and buy whatever it was I needed. Now, I don't think she knows EXACTLY what kind of protection I'm wearing, hah, but that's for another time in another place. What's important is that I discovered that I wasn't the only one with problems like these, and that there's nothing wrong with liking this sort of thing. As long as I keep it to myself and take care of everything myself, it's all good. I only like to wear at night, anyways, which is also when I need to wear them for protection, so it's a win-win for me. And speaking of my little problem, I've yet to have any accidents since I've been wearing. Man, if only I had found you guys earlier!
So thank you, to all of you, for helping me through all of this. You may not have realized it, but you have truly made me a happier person
Well, that was long, lol. I'm sorry if I took up too much of your time. I'm just glad to have finally been able to tell you guys my little story. Feels like the weight of the world was just lifted off of my chest. I also apologize to the girls out there if you were a little creeped out by my, umm, dreams I've had before about other girls.......I'll admit, that part of my story felt like the most embarrassing part to admit to.
I guess if anyone has any questions about my story or about me in general, I'll do my best to answer them. I know that usually, you're supposed to talk about your interests and hobbies and stuff in these kinds of threads. I think I have an easier time talking about myself whenever I'm answering someone else's questions about myself though, oddly enough. But I got my story out there, finally. I'm content enough with that.