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Thread: This appears to be a serious addiction for many

  1. #1

    Default This appears to be a serious addiction for many

    Dear fellow AB/DL friends.
    Just wanted to reach out to get your thoughts..
    Having spent a great deal of time reading through posts, here and at other sites, it really is becoming quite apparent just how addictive these desires/interests/lifestyles really can be. When I see people breaking up with partners because wearing diapers is more important, or when people move away from home to be able to have privacy to wear diapers, even if it means causing friction with parents and family, and possibly a life of debt.... I could go on.

    Really does appear that this ever so innocent interest/fascination so many of us share can actually really take over our lives quite dramatically.

    I love wearing, adore the feeling. But I will try to never allow any of this to have a negative effect on the rest of my life. I will try...

    Andrew

  2. #2

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    Thanks for the reminder that it is easy for people to offer up glib judgments and over simplifications of other people's life issues from the better than thou pedestal...

  3. #3

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    I agree...this lifestyle can become addicting if you let it. But as with many other things in life, I think that it just takes a little bit of will power. I think we just need to learn how to properly balance this part of ourselves. I would always choose the ones I love before wearing a diaper.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Soakingboy View Post
    When I see people breaking up with partners because wearing diapers is more important
    Being forced to hide or ignore anything for the sake of a relationship can seriously inhibit it's function. So if someone has to pretend that they are something they are not just so that they aren't single, it can make them unhappy and cause the relationship to dysfunction or stress the individuals in it. A relationship is supposed to be something that is nice and functions well, not something you have to acquire at all costs. What someone is forced to hide doesn't have to be about diapers.



    Quote Originally Posted by Soakingboy View Post
    or when people move away from home to be able to have privacy to wear diapers, even if it means causing friction with parents and family, and possibly a life of debt.... I could go on.
    And a lot of these people are at the age where it's time to move out anyway. Where they've lived with their parents since they were born and want to get out and live their own lives their own way. Diapers are one thing but also they probably want to have the freedom to eat bacon 3 times a day, should they so choose, without their mother saying 'WHO THE HELL ATE ALL THE BACON!?'. I'd be more concerned if there were people thinking 'If it wasn't for my interest in diapers, I'd want to live with my parents for the rest of my life!'.



    Quote Originally Posted by Soakingboy View Post
    Really does appear that this ever so innocent interest/fascination so many of us share can actually really take over our lives quite dramatically.

    I love wearing, adore the feeling. But I will try to never allow any of this to have a negative effect on the rest of my life. I will try...
    Very few let it take over their lives. You should also keep in mind that you're reading this on the internet, it's a lot easier to talk about something on the internet, in a community that caters to it, then they do it in real life.

  5. #5

    Default

    This stuff is different things to different people.

    For me it's closer to a hobby than a lifestyle. One of several fetishes I partake in that I could likely give up and live happily should there be a reason to. That said, I recognize that to others its a huge part of who they are, maybe even the defining part of who they are. Just stating that everyone should just shrug it off if necessary seems fairly inappropriate.

  6. #6

    Default

    Well, addiction is perhaps not the right word. A heterosexual person is not addicted to the oposite sex, a homosexual is not addicted to the same sex.
    While sexual attraction is a major thing in humans, we often can override them, but in the long term doing so makes us feel unsatisfied.

  7. #7

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    Obviously big life decisions should never be made in haste. I think we should always counsel each other to take things slow and think things through. But beyond that, I'm not sure how much "advice" is appropriate -- it is easy to start being overly simplistic about that person's situation.




    Quote Originally Posted by Soakingboy View Post
    When I see people breaking up with partners because wearing diapers is more important, or when people move away from home to be able to have privacy to wear diapers, even if it means causing friction with parents and family, and possibly a life of debt.... I could go on.
    As AshleyAshes said, it can seriously damage a relationship if you have to hide or "change" yourself for your partner. Some would say that kind of thing is a compromise and be okay with it. Maybe another person feels like they're being rejected or judged too harshly, and that they're being asked to sacrifice a part of their identity.

    I know I, for one, am not in the habit of trusting someone who asks me to change or "give up" something I love (especially if they are supposed to love me, and it is a non-harmful habit, like painting or driving or yes, diaper-wearing).

    If someone decides giving up a relationship -- regardless as to what brought them to that decision, such as diaper wearing -- would help them be a better or happier person overall, then that's their decision. And it's a valid one.

    I feel the same way about the moving out comment. This is not quite the same subject, but as queer person I know what it' s like to feel like you need to move out in order to be your true self, whether the time is perfect or not. So I suppose I have a lot of sympathy for people in that situation.
    Last edited by IronRoyal; 02-Jun-2013 at 17:58. Reason: Spelling errors

  8. #8

    Default

    I would concur that it can be addicting, but that's person dependent. You can't really generalize that statement from a website that is targeted specifically at that desire.

  9. #9

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    In my experience, if someone has AB/DL interests, they don't just go away. Even if you don't act on them, they linger in your mind, and can cause a lot of unhappiness. This is because one's identity or interests (whichever the case may be) can't just be ignored. But you are right that people can do dangerous or irrational things for the sake of their interests. So I think the answer is to take control of one's AB/DL side.

    Having limits on one's AB activities, and practicing in moderation, are both important ways to be in control of this side. It's unlikely to go anywhere, buy it can be controlled. Obviously, to do this, you need to accept this side of yourself and really think about what it means to you. I think a person has to reach that place to make mature decisions about relationships or living situations.

    And as others have said, this condition isn't likely to go away. If a person was being rejected by their family for something like their sexuality, or if a romantic partner belittled one's deeply held beliefs, I think we'd all advise them to move out or break it off. Now, if a person wants to move out even though they're not capable, or wants to end a relationship because they want a one-sided situation that's all about them, that's a problem. These are examples of people controlled by their AB/DL side. But what about those who want to movie a balanced, normal life that includes a regulated form of infantilism? At that point, people have a right to be themselves without condemnation. They aren't hurting themselves or anyone else. This is why having control over infantilism is so vital.

    The difference between lifestyle and addiction is a matter of self-control. People need to have control over their infantilism, and then they can make responsible decisions. Sometimes, it is better to leave a person or a situation. But it's never a decision to be made lightly.

  10. #10

    Default

    Beside what others have said, I wanted to add one more thought to the mix. Anything can be addictive. Some people have gotten addicted to water, and drank so much of it that they gave themselves water-poisoning. Some people get addicted to jogging, overworking their bodies and causing themselves injury. Drinking water and jogging are good things to do, though. The addiction itself is the only issue.

    Addiction to ABDL stuff is not good. ABDL stuff on its own is harmless.

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