I am in the middle of deciding what to do, and it is just a terribly hard choice to make. A girl that is practically everything i'd like in my life has one exception to that great notion, she is afraid of my little side and figures that its an addiction rather than part of who i am. I have pretty much already concluded that it isn't going to work out in the end, but it is just really hard to accept that.
A little bit of background on our relationship. We kind of got into a relationship really quickly, just recently. I have known her for 3 years now, and at the beginning of that i had taken her out on quite a few dates, while another guy was also dating her, it was a competition that lost and he won. However he decided to drop it recently and I didn't know anything about it for a while until after our relationship began (I know that sounds weird but it was because they were in the middle of a long distance situation). While she had been broken up, she was getting me to come with her to activities, and i was getting the feeling that she was interested in me.
The conflict started when i decided that i had known her long enough and that she appeared to be interested in me, so i felt like it was time to tell her about my little side. When i did, at first she seemed to be pretty open about it, but after when i told her about the drama it had caused between my parents, and my church leader/councilor and I, she got worried, and has been anti ever since. She pretty much figures that i'm giving way to an addiction that is like her struggle with anorexia or some persons struggle with drugs. I keep saying it is a different situation than those examples but she can't accept that.
Her fear is that i'm putting my little side above her and it will always be that way. For right now, my little side is more important to me, because I am still not in a committed relationship, and it is my responsibility to find somebody that i feel like would be good at taking care of 'all' my needs, once i find that person, then nothing should be greater than her in my eyes, but till then, i need to make sure that what is important to me is watched out for, such as my little side.
Secondly, she doesn't like that i'm looking for somebody who can sometimes be a mommy to me. She doesn't think that both a Mommy, and a wife can exist in a relationship. I think that both can, and i'm not asking that the role of a mommy even be given that much time in the relationship. In all reality, the role of her being a mommy would really only just be a hope, and a means of my wife using my little side as a tool to make me love her more, rather than something she has to compete with. But if that role was something beyond her, i still would only ask that I was able to express my little side without scorn and disapproval, but to her the only way of it existing is if she doesn't see or hear of it, which in my mind is an expression of her shame which i can't live with.
So Is it even worth trying for? I don't think she is going to change on this subject, she has the same stubbornness of my mom towards this. In all reality we have known each other for quite a while, but our relationship has only been short.