Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Who am I, you ask

  1. #1

    Default Who am I, you ask

    Who am I, you ask. I'm currently spending most of my time on a personal programming project. If I succeed, I might earn a buck or two. If I fail, I will still have a very cool piece to put on my portfolio as well as gained valuable experience. Before this, I was a student. I did two Bachelors, both of them in the field of computer science. While I succeeded for the majority of the courses in the first one, I didn't finish it. The second one, I graduated cum laude. During my second Bachelor, I studied abroad for half a year. I'm not that social but I'm not shy either.

    I'm still living with my parents and I'm grateful for what they have given me. Moving out, at least for now, isn't an option. First, I need a steady income. Second, I need a more compelling reason besides privacy to move out, say a girlfriend or living closer to work.

    What interests me is software development, particularly software architecture. How will the different parts work? How will these parts work together? Games are interesting pieces of software in this regard. Lately, I'm also getting more interested in learning new programming paradigms. I don't mean to say I'm not interested in anything else. An engaging speaker on almost any subject is sure to get my attention.

    I enjoy watching movies, particularly science fiction, thriller or action movies. If they were made between the late 70's and the early 90's, even better! I also like to listen to music, mostly metal and electronic sub-genres. Lastly, I like to play games. I really like games in which you can build something. Take Minecraft with all those technical mods. Just like Lego, as long as you can think of something to build, the game never gets boring.

    At the age of six or seven, I wanted to be back in diapers. It's not that I don't want to be an adult. I just wish that at times, I could turn back the clock to when I was only three or four. I don't understand why I want to wear diapers and footed pjs. I don't understand why I want to be tucked in with my favourite plushee and suck my thumb or paci. Why does this make me feel so safe, so at ease?

    Don't think I didn't fight this desire. Sometimes, I could get it out of my head for months but then, without provocation, it came back. The more I resisted it, the stronger it became. Eventually, I always gave in. Afterwards, I felt cheated, angry, stupid, disgusted, not worth anything. Most of the time I destroyed and threw away anything that reminded me of what I did. Not too long before I discovered ADISC I agreed with myself that I had to stop doing this. I agreed I could indulge from time to time. Now a year and a half later I still feel somewhat disgusted but my mind is more at peace.

    When I was nineteen, I had the crazy idea to search the internet to see if other people existed that shared my desire. What I found..., let's just say I ran for the hills and never looked back. A year ago I found this site by searching for where to buy footed pjs. It looked nothing like those sites of the past. I doubted for a long time but two nights ago I made an account. I hope to meet new people, maybe even make new friends.

    I've never had the courage to share this with anybody, not in real life, not on the internet. If you're still here, thank you for reading. I hope that most of what I wrote is somewhat cohesive. English isn't my first language and I don't find it particularly easy to talk about myself.

  2. #2

    Default

    Don't worry, your introduction was excellent. Like you, I never revealed my diaper fetish to anyone for like 16 years, until just a few months ago.

    Don't worry too much about trying to ''understand'' your desires. They make you feel good, and that's all that matters.

    I think you'll find what you're looking for here. We're mostly friendly, supportive people. I hope you enjoy your stay.

  3. #3

    Default

    Hello Aristocat and welcome to the group.

    This is a very impressive introduction. So yes I did read it, and I am even responding. As for your abilities with English as a second language I wish my usage was as good, and its my primary.

    The content of your story is so similar to everyone else in the group, so I hope you find your answers. Good luck at your career, and I will see you in the forums.

    Again welcome.

  4. #4

    Default

    Hello AristoCat! That's a really great introduction you've made!
    And welcome on board!

    May I ask if you still enjoy playing with Lego from time to time? Since you mentioned it with minecraft and I agree... eh well I'm just curious.
    And into which kind from the electronic music genre are you exactly? Perhaps IDM or electronica? I enjoy those two a lot, especially IDM since 2 years. Anyway, I'm into all kinds of electronic music in general. So which are your favorite bands & artists, if I may ask?

    It's good to hear that your parents are very kind, so you can still live at their place. Best wishes for finding a great job in the near future, so that you can move out (if you want to, of course).

    We all know this feeling of denial to some part, some more, some less. But if you are in trouble at some point, don't be afraid to ask openly! Adisc is a support community after all.
    And certainly, I agree. A lot of the typical ab/dl related sites are just made for running for the hills, never looking back and hopefully never being remembered about them... ^_- Arghs! That's what I did now, but you too.


    So welcome to adisc! And really don't be afraid about anything here and of course: have fun!

  5. #5

    Default

    After posting, I felt I did something stupid and hoped no one would answer. Reading the replies, I would like to thank you all for the kind words and the warm welcome, I'm glad you answered.

    About the Lego... I would really like to but at least for now, that's not possible. I can get away with keeping my plushees in plain sight but getting my Legos out of storage, that's a risky one!

    I had to Google the acronym IDM but according to Wikipedia it stands for Intelligent Dance Music? If so, I do like some of the groups mentioned in that article like Aphex Twin and LFO. Other groups in the electronic "genre" I like include CJ Bolland, Daft Punk, Mason, Nine Inch Nails, Orbital, Praga Khan, The Prodigy and Underworld.

  6. #6

    Default

    I'm glad that you replied *giggles*! So really don't be afraid at all.

    Understandable about the Lego in this case. I'd also stick to the safe way. You'll surely get the chance, since you seem interested, one day!

    And... yes IDM is still kinda unknown to some degree, though there are plenty of artists, which made tracks that are from this sub-genre.
    Well, now I finally know where to put nine inch nails; I never knew, which is their main genre. Anyway great taste! Especially Daft Punk and The Prodigy, these are my all time favorites from electronic music in general.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by AristoCat View Post
    Who am I, you ask. I'm currently spending most of my time on a personal programming project. If I succeed, I might earn a buck or two. If I fail, I will still have a very cool piece to put on my portfolio as well as gained valuable experience. Before this, I was a student. I did two Bachelors, both of them in the field of computer science. While I succeeded for the majority of the courses in the first one, I didn't finish it. The second one, I graduated cum laude. During my second Bachelor, I studied abroad for half a year. I'm not that social but I'm not shy either.

    I'm still living with my parents and I'm grateful for what they have given me. Moving out, at least for now, isn't an option. First, I need a steady income. Second, I need a more compelling reason besides privacy to move out, say a girlfriend or living closer to work.

    What interests me is software development, particularly software architecture. How will the different parts work? How will these parts work together? Games are interesting pieces of software in this regard. Lately, I'm also getting more interested in learning new programming paradigms. I don't mean to say I'm not interested in anything else. An engaging speaker on almost any subject is sure to get my attention.

    I enjoy watching movies, particularly science fiction, thriller or action movies. If they were made between the late 70's and the early 90's, even better! I also like to listen to music, mostly metal and electronic sub-genres. Lastly, I like to play games. I really like games in which you can build something. Take Minecraft with all those technical mods. Just like Lego, as long as you can think of something to build, the game never gets boring.

    At the age of six or seven, I wanted to be back in diapers. It's not that I don't want to be an adult. I just wish that at times, I could turn back the clock to when I was only three or four. I don't understand why I want to wear diapers and footed pjs. I don't understand why I want to be tucked in with my favourite plushee and suck my thumb or paci. Why does this make me feel so safe, so at ease?

    Don't think I didn't fight this desire. Sometimes, I could get it out of my head for months but then, without provocation, it came back. The more I resisted it, the stronger it became. Eventually, I always gave in. Afterwards, I felt cheated, angry, stupid, disgusted, not worth anything. Most of the time I destroyed and threw away anything that reminded me of what I did. Not too long before I discovered ADISC I agreed with myself that I had to stop doing this. I agreed I could indulge from time to time. Now a year and a half later I still feel somewhat disgusted but my mind is more at peace.

    When I was nineteen, I had the crazy idea to search the internet to see if other people existed that shared my desire. What I found..., let's just say I ran for the hills and never looked back. A year ago I found this site by searching for where to buy footed pjs. It looked nothing like those sites of the past. I doubted for a long time but two nights ago I made an account. I hope to meet new people, maybe even make new friends.

    I've never had the courage to share this with anybody, not in real life, not on the internet. If you're still here, thank you for reading. I hope that most of what I wrote is somewhat cohesive. English isn't my first language and I don't find it particularly easy to talk about myself.
    My word what an introduction!

    I have nooooooooooo idea what "cum laude" means, but it sounds impressive!

    I will probably seem /sound like a VERY ill-educated person to your good self, but I can promise that it is mostly down to my disabilities, aphasia being one of them, and cognitive impairment or whatever it is called, is another.

    So I will try exceedingly hard to converse at your level, but will undoubtedly fail miserably.

    I am not an ABDL myself, I am incontinent and found this forum whilst searching along those lines within tapatalk, and have been very warmly welcomed into this non-judgemental family nevertheless.

    I am crubbish at being social, and run a mile when someone responds directly to me, either IRL or OL, but I am trying to get better at the whole palava. (Sp?)

    As for English not being your Mother-tongue, I am afraid I don't believe you, you speak it too well heheh

    So, what is your Mother-tongue? I am intrigued.

    Anyway, I hope you settle in really well, though with the nerds, cleverclogs and total brainboxes that frequent this forum and make this old dog look and sound like a Country Bumpkin, I am sure you will fit like a round peg in a round hole!

  8. #8

    Default

    Hi Aristocat, welcome to the community.

    I, like you, was "running for the hills" when I first searched the internet. I then found this group and joined up. There are lots of great people here who share your interest, so don't be shy about joining in. You're among friends here.

    I am also a software engineer at a large high tech company. I have been doing firmware for more years than I care to admit to. It has been both rewarding and stressful. I hope you have good success on your present endeavours and also your budding career.

    See you around the site and once again, welcome!

    -11hinzvic

  9. #9

    Default

    11hinzvic, how did you get started with writing firmware? I'm guessing that's not something they teach you at school? I've never done something that low level and I'll be honest, if I had to do it, I wouldn't have the faintest idea where to start.

    CaptainVimes, please don't feel like you are somehow less than me! Every person has his/her own set of unique abilities. Not being perfect is the first sign of being human. My mother tongue? Dutch... and since I get this a lot, not to be confused with Deutsch (how you say German in German). I also understand quite a bit of French, just don't ask me to speak or write it. An old school friend of mine, who sometimes copied my assignment French, can testify to that. Cum laude is Latin for with honour. You're right, it does sound fancy. It looks not half bad on a resume but other than that, it has no value.

    daLira, I'm glad you finally found out where to place Nine Inch Nails, just don't quote me on that!

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by AristoCat View Post
    11hinzvic, how did you get started with writing firmware? I'm guessing that's not something they teach you at school? I've never done something that low level and I'll be honest, if I had to do it, I wouldn't have the faintest idea where to start.
    Writing firmware is different than writing application software. With application software, you really don't have to know that much about the hardware, The interfaces into the hardware are usually abstracted. An example of application software would be internet explorer or notepad.

    The best analogy to writing firmware would be to write a device driver. You really need to know the hardware interfaces and how the hardware works in order to write a device driver and firmware.

    Another example of where firmware would be used would be a printer or maybe a vending machine.

    I really can't say for sure if there are classes available to directly teach embedded firmware design and development. I graduated in the early eighties and course curriculums have changed since then and I haven't kept up on them. But with the amount of processors being integrated into cars, vending machines, washing machines, etc. I would assume that there are courses that one could take that would give someone some experience. Maybe a course on robotics?

    To answer your question about how I got started in firmware. The first job I had out of school was with a data communications company that built hardware that multiplexed serial ports into mainframe computers. This equipment we built used 8-bit Motorola 6809 microprocessors and we wrote embedded firmware to test, initialize, and then transfer the data between terminals that had serial port connections to the mainframes. My job there was first to test and fix this equipment and then I was moved into the engineering section to write test firmware. A lot of what I learned about firmware was discovered on the job.

    Thanks for asking about this. Hopefully it wasn't too long.
    -11hinzvic

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.