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Thread: Worst case scenario has been made a reality

  1. #1

    Default Worst case scenario has been made a reality

    Well, my dad caught me washing my pacifier while I was having a shower tonight. I tried to hide it but it was too late, he saw it.

    Tried to conceal it and deny that it was nothing, that didn't work and he got mad. Out of fear of him getting even angrier, I let it slip about it, now he knows.

    I told my mother about it since she heard it from downstairs, she now knows I'm an AB/DL (or at least practice in paraphillic infantalism), she was okay with it but was concerned that I was doing this sort of thing since in her words; "That is what babies do."

    Now that leaves my dad, I now have (hopefully) until tomorrow to try and come up with a way to explain what I do with this lifestyle to him, somebody who is very prone to anger outbursts and will most likely go in thinking his son is a freak.

    How do I let him think otherwise and convince him that this is fine and what I do is nothing to be overly worried about?

  2. #2


    You are the one who best knows your dad, so nothing we say can be better advice than what's in your heart. That said, if I were to try and give advice, I would say that you should plain and simple go in with a confident attitude. If you show to be embarrassed and so forth, from what I can gather about your dad from your post, then it will only fuel his "reasoning" that you are a freak and will make it harder for him to accept. If you show confidence, though, he might respect that and treat you somewhat as a mature individual and it might actually help him grow to accept it.

    This may or may not work, but it is the best advice I can offer. Aside from that, don't go in expecting anything either; by not expecting anything, you will both be able to potentially end the conversation at the appropriate time, and have an easier time showing confidence because you won't be worried about being let down or pushing to hard. If this is ended right, he may very well grow into acceptance of your infantilism over time.

    Good luck!

  3. #3


    Sorry to hear about all this. It's a tough situation, indeed.

    I don't know your father, so I don't know how he sees the world or what way you could possibly explain this to him so that he wouldn't freak out, if there even is a way to accomplish that. You could try letting him know that this is something you were naturally drawn to, that you haven't had a whole lot of say in whether or not you were interested in this. You could try to liken it to interests in other activities or clothing that are far more "typical" in society. You could compare it to drugs and alcohol and let him know you are choosing a far less destructive coping mechanism.

    Really though, his heart has to be in a place where he's open to hearing it and accepting of the fact that you don't perfectly fit into society's mold. That can be tough for a person who relies heavily upon how society thinks about people. You're light years ahead of him in terms of personal acceptance if he is that way. I really hope this isn't just you explaining yourself to a brick wall. There's no way to win if his heart is closed...

    Wishing you the best.

  4. #4


    I'm sorry that this happened :(...

    You know your dad best... So you need to consider if it's a good way to approach him immediately and "confront" him with this whole thing. So to find a solution that works for him, for you too of course, though that might be hard... and awkward, even talking about it.
    On the other hand, perhaps it would be better if you wait till he wants to speak with you? Although some react kinda "allergic", if they need to start a certain topic, i.e. they're getting way more angry.

    And of course think about what you want to say. I wouldn't make it that special. You surely had some topics you discussed about in the past, right? Try to solve it that way, if this worked at some point.

    If the worst case scenario happens, in this worst case scenario already... so speaking of that nothing works.... You wanted to get out of your parents house in the near future anyway, as far as I remember? Distance can be a good thing. However, I imagine it's unbearable if this is going to be in months.

    I would really try it some way like another big problem worked out kinda well at least, in the past. That's the only thing I can think of right now, besides the usual arguments regarding *bdl stuff at the point when you're able to speak to him openly and if he is listening of course.

  5. #5


    Wow. I'm really sorry this happened to you, Braddeh. At least your mom accepts it, even if she doesn't fully understand.

    Here's the thing: I don't think any parent will be overjoyed that their child is an AB. But I think they can accept it as part of who you are - an unusual part, but not a harmful one. For that, show them that your paci and other baby things have helped you. What does being an AB do for you? If you didn't do this, what would you be doing instead? Putting it like this might help your dad see that this side of you is actually really helpful.

    In the end, even if they hate the fact that you're an AB, remind them a few things. First, you've (presumably) been like this for a long time, and it's unlikely ever to change, even if you wanted to. Second, you're the same person you were before they discovered this. The son they know and love was always an AB; discovering it now doesn't change who you are. So their fear that you're messed up in some way is not true, any more than it was true before!

    I really hope your parents hear you out on this. If not, you know you can come here for support. Good luck, and please let us know how it goes!

  6. #6


    Unfortunately I have little advice to offer you. When I was17 I decided to tell my father about my thumb-sucking/pacifier habit. (My mother already knew and was the one who bought me my first pack of pacifiers.) He was clearly not thrilled. But only occasionally will he make a disapproving comment, and only when I'm using it in front of him.

    I wish you the best of luck.

  7. #7


    So, things went better than expected.

    He brought it up this morning in a light-hearted tone, asking why I was holding a paci in the bathroom, after a few attempts at diverting the conversation so that I could tell him later, I gave him the jist of it.

    Although I could tell that he wasn't all that for the idea of being being part of this kind of lifestyle, I could tell that he's accepting of me doing it enough for me to continue, so long as it stays in my bedroom I assume, so I am thankful for that.

    And although I did have an entire speech all sorted out on my iPhone to tell him about later on, I think it went better than I was expecting it to.

    And thanks to everybody who gave me all this help and wishes for it to come out okay, it went good and the crisis has been averted.

    Although I will have to expect him to make either a slightly disapproving comment or a jest at my expense, but hey, that's a given with my dad.

  8. #8


    Aw, I'm glad that went so well there, man.

    Sometimes our anxieties get the best of us and stuff. I have been out for years to everyone but my older siblings, and I'm still anxious of them finding out about me, especially when I find that one of them has been around the area in the basement where my diapers are kept.

    For you though, I'm glad the crisis didn't come. I hope this at least ends up going about as well for you as it did for me: I'm still allowed to wear diapers and use other stuff so long as it's kept private and not done in anyone's face. I'm willing to accept that while I live here. Just be open and prepared if he has any further questions, but hopefully he'll let it be and won't push unless you are wanting to tell him more. Best wishes on all this.

  9. #9


    I'm glad things went better than you thought. 99% of the time it is not the end of the world if you get caught. An explanation is usually all it takes, even on people who have a history of freaking out.

  10. #10


    I'm glad this turned out reasonably well. I was going to suggest that you tell the truth, that you bedroom is being haunted by a 2 year old, and "it" has taken possession of you, forcing you to use a pacie and do other babyish things. But I guess your way turned out almost as good.

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