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Thread: Your thoughts: Mommy/Daddy and spoiling their little.

  1. #1

    Default Your thoughts: Mommy/Daddy and spoiling their little.

    Just been curious about it myself lately and wanted to know what you all thought about this topic. How do you feel about Mommies/Daddies who spoil their little and buy them everything they want?

    I personally would love to find a Mommy/Daddy who could do that for me. I would be the best baby for them if that was the case! I don't see anything wrong with a Mommy/Daddy rewarding their Lil for being good or for anything (as long as they're behaving right? Bad Lils get spankies instead!). But after speaking with a few others about it, they seem to think that its not right and makes the relationship become something like a Sugar/Digger relation, which I don't really agree with.

    So, what this whole thread ultimately comes down to: "What are your thoughts?"

  2. #2

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    I like buying gifts for my little one but I'm also mindful that he is an adult and can buy things for himself. I keep things at a fairly trivial level. If it's moderate, I think it adds to the sense of roles but he's more comfortable when it's more of an even contribution. It's easier for "parents" to buy things for little ones since there are lots of accessories but let's not forget that it's adults playing and one person shouldn't get stuck with the bill all the time.

  3. #3

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    The problem may lie in two areas. First, people tend to get used to their current economic situation and desire things above that. So a little living with a mommy/daddy who earns a very nice 60,000 salary will start to want less smaller things like video games and clothes and beg for a home theater or an indoor pool. Then what? In the very least, they'll hear the word 'no' for the first time.

    Second, the 'big' might resent this after a time. They might feel they are only loved for their money and not for being kind and loving to their little. We don't want our little ones only associating love with money/toys. Even though in our case, the littles usually have the emotional intelligence of an adult hiding behind their play-acting. But still, I think any human being could be confused into equating material gifts with love. It can happen in non-AB marriages a lot, too. The main bad point here is the possible resentment coming from the caregiver. Also this might be some kind of co-dependency relationship, which are very unhealthy.

  4. #4

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    Personally, if I had a caretaker, I wouldn't care if they bought me stuff. As long as I was cuddled and looked after, I'd be happy.

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tapio View Post
    Just been curious about it myself lately and wanted to know what you all thought about this topic. How do you feel about Mommies/Daddies who spoil their little and buy them everything they want?

    I personally would love to find a Mommy/Daddy who could do that for me. I would be the best baby for them if that was the case! I don't see anything wrong with a Mommy/Daddy rewarding their Lil for being good or for anything (as long as they're behaving right? Bad Lils get spankies instead!). But after speaking with a few others about it, they seem to think that its not right and makes the relationship become something like a Sugar/Digger relation, which I don't really agree with.

    So, what this whole thread ultimately comes down to: "What are your thoughts?"
    Tapiooooo. There is a line to draw :P i mean at some point im sure the relationship goes from being one of love to being one of materialism lol, but i too see nothing wrong with a big spoiling their little, as long as it doesn't become routine because then the magic is gone :P though personally any gift from a big would melt my heart xD even if its something as silly as a sticker.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I like buying gifts for my little one but I'm also mindful that he is an adult and can buy things for himself. I keep things at a fairly trivial level. If it's moderate, I think it adds to the sense of roles but he's more comfortable when it's more of an even contribution. It's easier for "parents" to buy things for little ones since there are lots of accessories but let's not forget that it's adults playing and one person shouldn't get stuck with the bill all the time.
    I agree with you 100% on this. I also believe that there should be balance in a relationship, within every aspect of it. If not, then I feel like the relationship itself will shift into one centralized around materialism and greed.




    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    The problem may lie in two areas. First, people tend to get used to their current economic situation and desire things above that. So a little living with a mommy/daddy who earns a very nice 60,000 salary will start to want less smaller things like video games and clothes and beg for a home theater or an indoor pool. Then what? In the very least, they'll hear the word 'no' for the first time.

    Second, the 'big' might resent this after a time. They might feel they are only loved for their money and not for being kind and loving to their little. We don't want our little ones only associating love with money/toys. Even though in our case, the littles usually have the emotional intelligence of an adult hiding behind their play-acting. But still, I think any human being could be confused into equating material gifts with love. It can happen in non-AB marriages a lot, too. The main bad point here is the possible resentment coming from the caregiver. Also this might be some kind of co-dependency relationship, which are very unhealthy.
    For your first paragraph, I can see that being a definite possibility in some cases in which, as I mentioned above, the relationship between Big/Little becomes one of materialism and greed. I personally wouldn't even imagine of asking my big to even buy me anything of the sort, as I would find it to be rude from my own personal beliefs. Something that goes beyond small gifts (i.e. coloring books, diapies, pacis, etc.) I believe should either be for a special occasion, like a birthday, or be split amongst the two in order to maintain a balance within the relationship.

    And for your second paragraph, I can again agree with you wholeheartedly. I can truly see that becoming a reality in which the "big" starts to form resent over a "little" with an insatiable greed. Speaking from past experiences, I've known the pain to be true when the person you're with is only with you to obtain material possessions. This kind of behavior is the formula for an unhealthy relationship, without a doubt.

    I really appreciate your input on this matter. Thank you.




    Quote Originally Posted by ZooeySis View Post
    Tapiooooo. There is a line to draw :P i mean at some point im sure the relationship goes from being one of love to being one of materialism lol, but i too see nothing wrong with a big spoiling their little, as long as it doesn't become routine because then the magic is gone :P though personally any gift from a big would melt my heart xD even if its something as silly as a sticker.

    Agreed! Receiving a small present every now and then (like a coloring book or some sticker books) definitely means a lot more than constantly nagging for expensive items (like new video games for example). Then its just becomes an expected occurrence and, as you mentioned, the magic is lost.

  7. #7

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    i wish i had someone nice to take care of me like this, too bad i won't ever find that -.-

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cuteface View Post
    i wish i had someone nice to take care of me like this, too bad i won't ever find that -.-
    The only way you can know for sure that you won't is by not looking. I don't even think you need to make it a very active search, although that can also work. It's like any other relationship you might form with another person. I didn't expect this but it's wonderful.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    The only way you can know for sure that you won't is by not looking. I don't even think you need to make it a very active search, although that can also work. It's like any other relationship you might form with another person. I didn't expect this but it's wonderful.
    In my experience, I've found that its a lot harder to find a Mommy or Daddy as opposed to the countless of Littles who are looking for one. If you know any Mommies or Daddies who are looking some Littles to take care of, please send them my way! xD

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tapio View Post
    In my experience, I've found that its a lot harder to find a Mommy or Daddy as opposed to the countless of Littles who are looking for one. If you know any Mommies or Daddies who are looking some Littles to take care of, please send them my way! xD
    not all mommies and daddies even know that they want to be such until they just happen to meet the right "little..."
    this is why it is so important to keep putting yourself out there.

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