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Thread: Losing contact with your inner child

  1. #1

    Default Losing contact with your inner child

    For some time now, I have been having a struggle to keep myself happy. And I feel like I know what I want, like I know what will make me happy. The thought is there, but when I follow through it isn't as great as I expected.

    I hold my expectations too high.

    I'm confused, and I've been meditating a lot to try and understand myself more fully. While in deep meditation, I realized just how much of the world is meaningless and how I never actually wanted any of the things I wanted, but rather I clinged to the emotions and memories that followed them. I am truly a child at heart, and I found underneath my shell I am not as sad as I have been making myself believe.

    However,

    I feel like I am losing contact with my inner child, and even after wearing diapers, dressing little, playing my favorite games, and coloring in my favorite coloring books I feel as though the luster has gone.

    I don't feel like a kid anymore, I feel like an adult pretending to be a child. But I don't feel like an adult on the same token. It's weird. :s

    Is there anything I can do, or anyone who can help me overcome this milestone? I want to enjoy being an AB/DL again..

  2. #2

    Default

    I think you are at the appropriate age to feel this way. I hated my 20th birthday because I was no longer a teenager. There was something that was still part of my childhood, as long as I was a teenager. But once I turned 20, I felt like I was an adult. Being an adult separated me from the child, the child I desperately wanted to always be. That was who I was. For a long time I was depressed, but I did have goals and things I wanted to do.

    Being an adult has opened different doors. I can't be a kid, but I can do adult things. I was a music student, and my playing, through practice, got a lot better. After graduation, I always wanted to build a car for the quarter mile track and race. I built two cars and raced them. I married and started my family, and my kids became meaningful and the most important part of my life.

    You are changing into another part of the circle of life. All you can do is embrace it and do things that do give your life meaning. You don't have to find the cure for cancer, or do other great things. You simply have to do those things which are important to you. In college I wrote poetry to get me through some of these feelings. After college I quit writing. But at age 60, I started writing a novel and now it's almost finished. I want to leave that part of me to my children and grandchildren. Finding meaning and purpose never ends, and it's not something you outgrow. You find ways to complete it.

  3. #3

    Default

    The way you're feeling is normal. I often find myself losing interest in AB activities for periods of time, only to have them return later. Strong emotions can be a part of this. It's natural to question things, especially in your early twenties. You're an adult, and emerging into independence, but still holding on to your little side. So it's easy to feel dissatisfied, especially if you naturally have high self-expectations. I'm that way, and I spent my early twenties trying to cure myself of ABDL-ism - I thought I had to fight it away! So overall, don't feel bad if the appeal of old activities fades for a time. You're still defining yourself, and the end result will be awesome. And the joy of being little will jump you again, probably when you least expect it!

  4. #4

    Default

    Like everything else in life it's probably just a mini crisis or a phase that you're going through. It will probably go away once you stop thinking about it. If you're constantly checking in with yourself about whether you are enjoying being little, it won't be natural and you won't enjoy it. Hope that helps

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Mittens View Post
    For some time now, I have been having a struggle to keep myself happy. And I feel like I know what I want, like I know what will make me happy. The thought is there, but when I follow through it isn't as great as I expected.

    I hold my expectations too high.

    I'm confused, and I've been meditating a lot to try and understand myself more fully. While in deep meditation, I realized just how much of the world is meaningless and how I never actually wanted any of the things I wanted, but rather I clinged to the emotions and memories that followed them. I am truly a child at heart, and I found underneath my shell I am not as sad as I have been making myself believe.

    However,

    I feel like I am losing contact with my inner child, and even after wearing diapers, dressing little, playing my favorite games, and coloring in my favorite coloring books I feel as though the luster has gone.

    I don't feel like a kid anymore, I feel like an adult pretending to be a child. But I don't feel like an adult on the same token. It's weird. :s

    Is there anything I can do, or anyone who can help me overcome this milestone? I want to enjoy being an AB/DL again..
    i have a thought, and it may or may not help depending on your "little"...
    i have had a good bit of experience with little's, both with my own, and with those of some of my friends over the years. i have always found that in order for the little-side to feel comfortable enough to play freely, the environment should be as stress-free and emotionally safe as possible. if you as the adult are going through change or turbulent times, that may be the problem. many of my friends find it best to have a partner or spouse present so that they feel secure enough for their little-side to come out and play.

    i understand that not everyone can find that sort of willing partner, but the next best thing is a safe quite worry-free environment to facilitate your little-side....

    i hope that this is of help....

  6. #6

    Default

    As already mentioned and everyone, I guess, knows it's kinda common to have some "down times", where you lose interest for a certain time.

    Besides that... for me there is a big difference between my inner child and ab/dl-ism. Surely these two coexist very well and complement eachother more or less.
    However, my little side doesn't need diapers, binkys, to color books and draw in general. Although I like this stuff a lot, sometimes, but not every time ultimately.
    As you mentioned... it's the emotional basis, kind of. Not the physical stuff around it.

    And taken from this point, you can't lose it. It's always there, more or less and as long as your remember it you will not forget it. And this is what happens sadly to a lot of people over time.
    But you know that you feel like it's not there at the moment, figuratively speaking. And you're looking for a way to feel like this again.
    Furthermore, I think, it doesn't matter that much if you growing up, i.e. getting older, in general. Even if your child may get older.... emotional wise, it's still there.
    And surely there's nothing wrong with it, if this evolves a little and you should surely... stagnation is regression, if you may know that.

    Your expectations are also not too high, why should they? It's hard to "keep" everything sometimes, but as long as you keep on trying, you're not failing and you can't say that you want too much maybe...
    I guess there's more to it? Since you said that underneath your shell you're not as sad as you have believed... In the most general sense this may be true in an easy way... but well, what I simply mean is, maybe at the moment you've got that much stress and have mostly other things on your mind, that you cannot really slip into that role?

    A little metaphorical, sorry. In the end, what I simply mean, don't think about it too much, but think about it sometimes. If you feel like the stuff you're doing feels odd, do it different and try something new. This is really important. Always doing the same can be great, but get's really boring over time.
    And if you feel like you're losing contact with your inner child, maybe it has different desires, as you thought. Surely some of the stuff with what you winkled it out in the first place, but maybe more.


    Just my 2 cents, think about it perhaps ;)

  7. #7

    Default

    Thank-you all for your input, I've been reflecting on it this past week and I'm starting to feel "right" again. It really has been stressful in my environment lately, and I'm sure that has much to do with it.

    But really, thanks so much peeps :3 You all made me think of everything in a different perspective, and I know I don't ever talk much on here but I'm super shy.

    And awkward.

    l8r g8rz

  8. #8

    Default

    growing up for me has been nothing but depressing, i would give anything to go back to being a little kid again. =/

  9. #9

    Default

    Though I wouldn't jump to being a kid again I often feel myself as much younger but in that situation lies a similar conflict where I am physically older but don't feel the same inside. I guess for me to accept both selves, I just accept that I am everything at once simultaneously making me both the physical ages I have lived through but also the ages I feel like. Anyways that's about as well as I can rectify my circumstances as it is still hard seeing other people and even younger people live life completely differently and making me feel more and more left out. I decided at one time I want a boyfriend but also want a caretaker but that one person can be both of these things just to different degrees and so maybe I can find a place for myself.

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