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Thread: Help Me - Wearing Dilemma

  1. #1

    Default Help Me - Wearing Dilemma

    Okay, longtime lurker, rare poster. My DL tendencies ebb and flow and lately the urge has really grown for the first time in a couple of years.

    My biggest issue is that my wife seemed creeped out by the prospect when I matter-of-factly came out about one isolated incident a couple of years ago. Between work and the fact she's a homebody, I rarely get time to myself to wear and though I know how to hide them I'm afraid she'll find out. Do I do something as rash as buy some store brand stuff and wear them on the sly? Or do I just hope this fades once again.

    I need all the advice I can get!

  2. #2
    CrinklySiren

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    you're gonna need to come out to her eventually or she will eventually find out and things will be 10x worse... believe me.

  3. #3

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    Perhaps talking to her about it so you can gauge her feelings about it is the first and most important step. If she truly has a horrible distaste for the action then it's a question of how important is your relationship to you to be risking it over the desire to wear. I was in your position once and did this and the response I got was she didn't mind but never expect her to participate or contribute. As cliche as it is communication truly is key when it comes to sensitive issues like this. Good luck!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZooeySis View Post
    you're gonna need to come out to her eventually or she will eventually find out and things will be 10x worse... believe me.
    The fact that I ebb and flow makes it harder. The last time I had urges I just ignored them - at that time we were stressed due to planning our wedding - and they faded away. She knows that I know too much and can point out when TV portrayals of AB/DL's are a bit too sensational (that guy from Dr. Phil) or not so much (Riley Kilo on My Strange Addiction).

    She also knows that when we do have kids (which might be sooner than later), I'd rather support them being infantialists or DL's rather than, say, drugs and since we've determined that I'd be the pushover parent she seems a bit okay with that.



    Quote Originally Posted by clubssc View Post
    I was in your position once and did this and the response I got was she didn't mind but never expect her to participate or contribute. As cliche as it is communication truly is key when it comes to sensitive issues like this. Good luck!
    I would think that if I did reapproach it this way, it may work. I mean, I let her hoard stuffed animals and blow up plans and everything, I should be allowed to have something in return, yes?

    Also, diapers cost less than divorce.

  5. #5

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    If she's hoarding stuffed animals, who's to say she doesn't have latent regressive tendencies of her own? If this is the case, who is she to call you wrong for indulging?

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by MOPaddED View Post
    If she's hoarding stuffed animals, who's to say she doesn't have latent regressive tendencies of her own? If this is the case, who is she to call you wrong for indulging?
    I sometimes think I'm married to a grown woman playing as a little kid but trips to Build-a-Bear are a bit more...socially acceptable than wearing a thick pad to wet and mess, yes? There's the difference.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dohmer194 View Post
    Okay, longtime lurker, rare poster. My DL tendencies ebb and flow and lately the urge has really grown for the first time in a couple of years.

    My biggest issue is that my wife seemed creeped out by the prospect when I matter-of-factly came out about one isolated incident a couple of years ago. Between work and the fact she's a homebody, I rarely get time to myself to wear and though I know how to hide them I'm afraid she'll find out. Do I do something as rash as buy some store brand stuff and wear them on the sly? Or do I just hope this fades once again.

    I need all the advice I can get!
    Since you yourself mention that the desires ebb and flow, I wouldn't say the "hoping this fades away" option is a good one. Even if it does fade, it seems likely that it would come back at some point down the line. Then you'll be in the same position again.

    I'm a little confused as to how much she knows since you mentioned confessing to an isolated incident. Did you pass it off as experimentation?

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by IronRoyal View Post
    I'm a little confused as to how much she knows since you mentioned confessing to an isolated incident. Did you pass it off as experimentation?
    A one-time experimentation. Thing is that in reality I had three periods of experimentation and a period when I was 11-12 when the urges first came (seeing a child with special needs not much younger than you have his changed can do things) when I'd make diapers from paper towels and paper bags and when I would stuff my underwear with toilet paper.

    There have been some hints and when I last experimented I did wear wet for a couple of hours and had some cases when I pooped. I really regret not being like "screw it, I'm wearing 24/7" back then when I lived alone.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dohmer194 View Post
    A one-time experimentation. Thing is that in reality I had three periods of experimentation and a period when I was 11-12 when the urges first came (seeing a child with special needs not much younger than you have his changed can do things) when I'd make diapers from paper towels and paper bags and when I would stuff my underwear with toilet paper.

    There have been some hints and when I last experimented I did wear wet for a couple of hours and had some cases when I pooped. I really regret not being like "screw it, I'm wearing 24/7" back then when I lived alone.
    Aaah, I see what you mean. Yeah, living alone can definitely help when it comes to these kinds of things - it gives us breathing room to try things out. But unfortunately most of us don't have that luxury!

    I would agree with some of the other posters and say that talking things out and communicating is going to be your best bet here. And I think you're onto something with the trade off idea.

    The thing is, you're not going to know the depth of her feelings until you talk it out. For example, she could be nervous/upset because a.) she has misconceptions about what it meals to be DL b.) she thinks if she encourages the behavior you'll go 24/7 and she's not ready for that, c.) that you'll force her into sexual scenarios she's not interested in, etc etc. It could be anything, really. And if you can address her concerns and work out a compromise, you may be able to explore your DL tendencies more freely.

    I would explain your position as gently as possible and then indicate you're willing to compromise, and above all mention how important she is to you. Maybe you can ease into the "trade off" you mentioned.

    For example: "I think for me the diaper thing wasn't a one-time experimentation. I'd really like to explore it more so I can feel more at peace with these desires. Would you be okay with me keeping diapers in the house as long as I keep it private? Your feelings are really important to me, and I don't want to make you unhappy, but I also don't want to sneak around behind your back about this."

  10. #10

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    This seems sane but I feel apprehensive. Do I tell this to her face or write it down? I mean, I've said more out there things to friends/her family which she's gotten second hand so it shouldn't be that hard, yes?

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