I'll try my best not to be "graphic" in this post, which is what I was personally told via private messages by 2 different moderators, but I'm feeling pretty depressed right now because 1.) my thread about a messing incident last Thursday was deleted not long after I posted it, and 2.) my thread asking why so many of my replies and threads are being deleted has been closed with just 1 response.
So as you can imagine, I'm feeling like I've had my hand slapped, and not just once, because a lot of my content has either been closed very quickly or deleted. So I'm not feeling as well-received as I thought I'd be when I joined this site over 6 months ago. I would've thought this overwhelmingly male-dominated community would've been thrilled to have a person who is not only female-bodied, but even more rare than that, identifying as an FtM transgender!!!
See, I really don't have much of an interest in diapers, in and of themselves, and have only worn 3 in my adult life. I find them hot and uncomfortable, not to mention that if I'm able to control both functions 99.9% of the time, it's like, why should I buy something I don't need when there are people who do? So at the moment, I am wearing nice, clean underwear as I type this, with no intentions of buying any diapers. I also don't have many "adult baby" interests, other than thumb-sucking, which I never really thought of in such a way because I've done it all my life.
But there is one thing, and one thing only, that I like to do when diapered, and since you already know what it is, I won't say it again. I have only done it twice in my adult life (November 8th and May 9th, which were both Thursdays and thus 26 weeks apart), but if you count underwear, the number would exceed 15 since the first time (on purpose) when I was 19. It's like, I don't do it very often (sometimes less than once a year), because it wouldn't be special if I did, and because I rarely get the opportunity, since I'm always either home with Mom or going places with her.
My problem, however, is that 1.) I don't know why it offends people here for me to post comments/threads about it, and 2.) I don't know how I'll continue to keep everyone in my life from knowing that I've done such a shocking thing as an adult!!! It's like, they don't even know I've had accidents, let alone "on purposes," thanks to all the drastic measures I've taken (i.e. hiding washed-out clothes in my room, slipping them into the washer when Mom isn't looking, sneaking used diapers into outside trashcans, etc.) to keep it a secret!
I shudder to think of what the people who know me might think/say/do if they found-out, but hopefully I'll never get caught!!! Can anyone help me sort this out, or is this yet another "bad" post? I do that to "prove my masculinity" to myself, since there is nothing less ladylike than that, but there's no one who would understand or support me in such logic. What should I do?