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Thread: What's so terrible about threads and comments that deal with messing?

  1. #1

    Unhappy What's so terrible about threads and comments that deal with messing?

    I'll try my best not to be "graphic" in this post, which is what I was personally told via private messages by 2 different moderators, but I'm feeling pretty depressed right now because 1.) my thread about a messing incident last Thursday was deleted not long after I posted it, and 2.) my thread asking why so many of my replies and threads are being deleted has been closed with just 1 response.

    So as you can imagine, I'm feeling like I've had my hand slapped, and not just once, because a lot of my content has either been closed very quickly or deleted. So I'm not feeling as well-received as I thought I'd be when I joined this site over 6 months ago. I would've thought this overwhelmingly male-dominated community would've been thrilled to have a person who is not only female-bodied, but even more rare than that, identifying as an FtM transgender!!!

    See, I really don't have much of an interest in diapers, in and of themselves, and have only worn 3 in my adult life. I find them hot and uncomfortable, not to mention that if I'm able to control both functions 99.9% of the time, it's like, why should I buy something I don't need when there are people who do? So at the moment, I am wearing nice, clean underwear as I type this, with no intentions of buying any diapers. I also don't have many "adult baby" interests, other than thumb-sucking, which I never really thought of in such a way because I've done it all my life.

    But there is one thing, and one thing only, that I like to do when diapered, and since you already know what it is, I won't say it again. I have only done it twice in my adult life (November 8th and May 9th, which were both Thursdays and thus 26 weeks apart), but if you count underwear, the number would exceed 15 since the first time (on purpose) when I was 19. It's like, I don't do it very often (sometimes less than once a year), because it wouldn't be special if I did, and because I rarely get the opportunity, since I'm always either home with Mom or going places with her.

    My problem, however, is that 1.) I don't know why it offends people here for me to post comments/threads about it, and 2.) I don't know how I'll continue to keep everyone in my life from knowing that I've done such a shocking thing as an adult!!! It's like, they don't even know I've had accidents, let alone "on purposes," thanks to all the drastic measures I've taken (i.e. hiding washed-out clothes in my room, slipping them into the washer when Mom isn't looking, sneaking used diapers into outside trashcans, etc.) to keep it a secret!

    I shudder to think of what the people who know me might think/say/do if they found-out, but hopefully I'll never get caught!!! Can anyone help me sort this out, or is this yet another "bad" post? I do that to "prove my masculinity" to myself, since there is nothing less ladylike than that, but there's no one who would understand or support me in such logic. What should I do?

  2. #2

    Default

    Allow me to put it to you succinctly and respectfully.



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    So as you can imagine, I'm feeling like I've had my hand slapped, and not just once, because a lot of my content has either been closed very quickly or deleted. So I'm not feeling as well-received as I thought I'd be when I joined this site over 6 months ago.
    Then there is something wrong with your content. From what I've seen, moderators here typically won't pounce on something unless it's either 1) Blatantly vile, untactful or disrespectful, or 2) Reported by a number of members.




    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    I would've thought this overwhelmingly male-dominated community would've been thrilled to have a person who is not only female-bodied, but even more rare than that, identifying as an FtM transgender!!!
    I don't see how this is relevant. There are a number of facets about me that put me in a minority here, but I typically don't translate it into entitlement.




    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    See, I really don't have much of an interest in diapers, in and of themselves, and have only worn 3 in my adult life. I find them hot and uncomfortable, not to mention that if I'm able to control both functions 99.9% of the time, it's like, why should I buy something I don't need when there are people who do? So at the moment, I am wearing nice, clean underwear as I type this, with no intentions of buying any diapers. I also don't have many "adult baby" interests, other than thumb-sucking, which I never really thought of in such a way because I've done it all my life.
    Again, relevance?



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    But there is one thing, and one thing only, that I like to do when diapered, and since you already know what it is, I won't say it again. I have only done it twice in my adult life (November 8th and May 9th, which were both Thursdays and thus 26 weeks apart), but if you count underwear, the number would exceed 15 since the first time (on purpose) when I was 19. It's like, I don't do it very often (sometimes less than once a year), because it wouldn't be special if I did, and because I rarely get the opportunity, since I'm always either home with Mom or going places with her.
    Maybe the fact that you provided "too much information" is large reason why your posts were deleted.



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    My problem, however, is that 1.) I don't know why it offends people here for me to post comments/threads about it, and 2.) I don't know how I'll continue to keep everyone in my life from knowing that I've done such a shocking thing as an adult!!! It's like, they don't even know I've had accidents, let alone "on purposes," thanks to all the drastic measures I've taken (i.e. hiding washed-out clothes in my room, slipping them into the washer when Mom isn't looking, sneaking used diapers into outside trashcans, etc.) to keep it a secret!
    It offends because it's scatplay to a large extent. Whilst a number of us, myself included, enjoy messing out pants/diapers, it's not really something that needs to be discussed either at length or in any sort of detail.

    To give you another perspective - If I had a bloodplay fetish (hypothetically), would you really want to know how I like to extract it and drink it by the gallon? How I bathe in it? How I smear it all over me and let it dry so it forms a duricrust on my skin? You get the point.



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    I shudder to think of what the people who know me might think/say/do if they found-out, but hopefully I'll never get caught!!! Can anyone help me sort this out, or is this yet another "bad" post? I do that to "prove my masculinity" to myself, since there is nothing less ladylike than that, but there's no one who would understand or support me in such logic. What should I do?
    You don't have to prove anything. Just stop talking about what you do in your pants/diapers. You're on a diaper fetish forum. And one that prefers intelligent conversation over the intricate details of messing our pants. We all do it to some degree, so it really doesn't need to be said.

  3. #3

    Default

    If I may offer advice so that you may better enjoy your time here on ADISC...



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7
    I'll try my best not to be "graphic" in this post, which is what I was personally told via private messages by 2 different moderators, but I'm feeling pretty depressed right now because 1.) my thread about a messing incident last Thursday was deleted not long after I posted it, and 2.) my thread asking why so many of my replies and threads are being deleted has been closed with just 1 response.
    In this community there is a line between what is in good taste/decent, and what isn't when it comes to the topic of messing. Yes it is somewhat ironic given here that many do so and talk about it. But there is talking about it by mention, and then there is the level of graphic and intricate detail/length you describe that's frankly inappropriate and unnecessary.

    I've spoken with you before on this matter, and perhaps more detail would help.

    What is inappropriate to discuss: We don't need to know what it looks like, what it smells like, how it comes out, and all the little details in between about it. The intricate details on the condition of your diaper actually violates the rules and good taste for this community. Also, you made passing mention in the thread in question that you were going to take a picture of it (thankfully you didn't). That is absolutely, positively, inappropriate and does not belong here. Most AB/DL forum communities don't want to see that. Some do, but I don't speak for them. This kind of detail is not relevant, or necessary, to answer your questions.

    So what is appropriate? Anything that doesn't involve the above. Here's a decent example of what you could have said with the other thread:



    "Well I enjoy messing my diapers quite frequently, but the disposal and smell of said diapers is a hassle especially when I do not live on my own. Can anyone offer advice how to discreetly take care of them?"
    As you can see in this example, the state of your diaper and all those details were not added.

    So please keep in mind and ask beforehand what is deemed appropriate and to read the rules when in doubt. That goes for any community you go to. You also made mention of posting such things on non fetish type forums, publicly, and you wonder why you got banned. This says to me a lack of awareness on social acceptability and you should re-access your approach so you don't find yourself in hot water.



    I would've thought this overwhelmingly male-dominated community would've been thrilled to have a person who is not only female-bodied, but even more rare than that, identifying as an FtM transgender!!!
    You are not the only FTM I've seen on here. And this is not relevant. That is your expectation on how you've come to view masculinity.



    See, I really don't have much of an interest in diapers, in and of themselves, and have only worn 3 in my adult life. I find them hot and uncomfortable, not to mention that if I'm able to control both functions 99.9% of the time, it's like, why should I buy something I don't need when there are people who do? So at the moment, I am wearing nice, clean underwear as I type this, with no intentions of buying any diapers. I also don't have many "adult baby" interests, other than thumb-sucking, which I never really thought of in such a way because I've done it all my life.

    But there is one thing, and one thing only, that I like to do when diapered, and since you already know what it is, I won't say it again. I have only done it twice in my adult life (November 8th and May 9th, which were both Thursdays and thus 26 weeks apart), but if you count underwear, the number would exceed 15 since the first time (on purpose) when I was 19. It's like, I don't do it very often (sometimes less than once a year), because it wouldn't be special if I did, and because I rarely get the opportunity, since I'm always either home with Mom or going places with her.
    As a general tip, and I'm not saying you're level of detail is a bad thing, but all of that really isn't necessary to tell us to help answer this particular question. The dates and times especially. You'd be better off trimming the fat as it where.



    My problem, however, is that 1.) I don't know why it offends people here for me to post comments/threads about it, and 2.) I don't know how I'll continue to keep everyone in my life from knowing that I've done such a shocking thing as an adult!!! It's like, they don't even know I've had accidents, let alone "on purposes," thanks to all the drastic measures I've taken (i.e. hiding washed-out clothes in my room, slipping them into the washer when Mom isn't looking, sneaking used diapers into outside trashcans, etc.) to keep it a secret!
    The moderators, and other members, have been pretty clear. If this is still not clear, please explain what isn't clear. To be honest, it really isn't so shocking some adults mess themselves. Unfortunately, that is the risk of being an AB/DL you choose to take, especially when living with someone. That is a reality you have to expect if you continue to engage in it.



    I shudder to think of what the people who know me might think/say/do if they found-out, but hopefully I'll never get caught!!! Can anyone help me sort this out, or is this yet another "bad" post? I do that to "prove my masculinity" to myself, since there is nothing less ladylike than that, but there's no one who would understand or support me in such logic. What should I do?
    Yes it's a fear a lot of people have. And it's a big risk. You are not alone in that feeling. You can minimize the risk as much as possible and people are here to help give tips on minimizing such. Or help you out if you get caught. There are also other ways of being masculine without messing one's self if you need that validation as well and do not want to take the risks. This thread is fine because you didn't graphically talk about messing you see. That's the way to do it.

    There's a certain reality here you have to accept, and I'm very sorry that is upsetting. We have to learn ways of dealing with it. As I've discussed with you a few months ago, if you have not yet sought counseling for your other issues, please do as it well help your situation drastically.

    Any other questions, do ask.
    Last edited by Geno; 15-May-2013 at 15:18.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Geno View Post
    If I may offer advice so that you may better enjoy your time here on ADISC...



    In this community there is a line between what is in good taste/decent, and what isn't when it comes to the topic of messing. Yes it is somewhat ironic given here that many do so and talk about it. But there is talking about it by mention, and then there is the level of graphic and intricate detail/length you describe that's frankly inappropriate and unnecessary.

    I've spoken with you before on this matter, and perhaps more detail would help.

    What is inappropriate to discuss: We don't need to know what it looks like, what it smells like, how it comes out, and all the little details in between about it. The intricate details on the condition of your diaper actually violates the rules and good taste for this community. Also, you made passing mention in the thread in question that you were going to take a picture of it (thankfully you didn't). That is absolutely, positively, inappropriate and does not belong here. Most AB/DL forum communities don't want to see that. Some do, but I don't speak for them. This kind of detail is not relevant, or necessary, to answer your questions.

    So what is appropriate? Anything that doesn't involve the above. Here's a decent example of what you could have said with the other thread:



    As you can see in this example, the state of your diaper and all those details were not added.

    So please keep in mind and ask beforehand what is deemed appropriate and to read the rules when in doubt. That goes for any community you go to. You also made mention of posting such things on non fetish type forums, publicly, and you wonder why you got banned. This says to me a lack of awareness on social acceptability and you should re-access your approach so you don't find yourself in hot water.



    You are not the only FTM I've seen on here. And this is not relevant. That is your expectation on how you've come to view masculinity.



    As a general tip, and I'm not saying you're level of detail is a bad thing, but all of that really isn't necessary to tell us to help answer this particular question. The dates and times especially. You'd be better off trimming the fat as it where.



    The moderators, and other members, have been pretty clear. If this is still not clear, please explain what isn't clear. To be honest, it really isn't so shocking some adults mess themselves. Unfortunately, that is the risk of being an AB/DL you choose to take, especially when living with someone. That is a reality you have to expect if you continue to engage in it.



    Yes it's a fear a lot of people have. And it's a big risk. You are not alone in that feeling. You can minimize the risk as much as possible and people are here to help give tips on minimizing such. Or help you out if you get caught. There are also other ways of being masculine without messing one's self if you need that validation as well and do not want to take the risks. This thread is fine because you didn't graphically talk about messing you see. That's the way to do it.

    There's a certain reality here you have to accept, and I'm very sorry that is upsetting. We have to learn ways of dealing with it. As I've discussed with you a few months ago, if you have not yet sought counseling for your other issues, please do as it well help your situation drastically.

    Any other questions, do ask.
    Actually, yes, I do have a hard time discerning what is/isn't appropriate, because I thought the whole point of this site was to discuss AB/DL-ism, and everything that goes along with it. I was tired of getting violations on Yahoo! Answers and thought this community needed to hear the FtM version of the "I wanna be babyfied like the other sex" song, where the female equivalent of "boys don't cry" is "girls don't fart/poop." (Sorry if I offended some of you, but I just didn't see much difference between male tears and female poop.) I also cannot go to a therapist for any of my "other issues," let alone this one, because Mom will kill me if I say I'm trans, let alone if I'm caught messing!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7
    Actually, yes, I do have a hard time discerning what is/isn't appropriate, because I thought the whole point of this site was to discuss AB/DL-ism, and everything that goes along with it.
    Yes this is a forum to discuss AB/DL-ism and everything that goes with it. But, as I've explained, we have a standard on how we talk about such things you need to be aware of. When in doubt, ask.



    I was tired of getting violations on Yahoo! Answers and thought this community needed to hear the FtM version of the "I wanna be babyfied like the other sex" song, where the female equivalent of "boys don't cry" is "girls don't fart/poop." (Sorry if I offended some of you, but I just didn't see much difference between male tears and female poop.)
    Understandable, that would be helpful to us in the case if you are struggling with one's concept of gender. You can create another thread if there are issues in that area. However, in the case of messing, I understand now your desire to do so stemming from this. It wouldn't have made a difference however in discussing messing appropriately.



    I also cannot go to a therapist for any of my "other issues," let alone this one, because Mom will kill me if I say I'm trans, let alone if I'm caught messing!
    You don't need to make your mother aware if you're an adult. There are ways to go about doing so, privately. You have that kind of control of your life. I sympathize with your situation as it can be stressful and I wish you the best in that regard.

    Are there any other questions or concerns I can help you with concerning this matter on thread appropriateness?

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Geno View Post
    You don't need to make your mother aware if you're an adult. There are ways to go about doing so, privately. You have that kind of control of your life. I sympathize with your situation as it can be stressful and I wish you the best in that regard.
    Unfortunately, because I've moved since January, she would have to be aware of me going see a therapist, and if I asked to go, she'd probably tell me to "go live with my dad." And that would be even worse than living with her, because not only is he no more supportive, he likes to get drunk! So I'm kind of in a situation where neither parent truly wants to help me (they just don't want to be embarrassed), and this issue is my "dirty little secret" I've been keeping for years!

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    Unfortunately, because I've moved since January, she would have to be aware of me going see a therapist, and if I asked to go, she'd probably tell me to "go live with my dad." And that would be even worse than living with her, because not only is he no more supportive, he likes to get drunk! So I'm kind of in a situation where neither parent truly wants to help me (they just don't want to be embarrassed), and this issue is my "dirty little secret" I've been keeping for years!
    And that's really tough. It can be very depressing too when we have no support, and even more so with little independent power to bring about those needed changes. Do you perhaps have any friends or family members that maybe can help you? If not, it's going to take a lot of effort. And it's really sad when no one can turn to love ones for help and it seems pretty hopeless. I have a couple friends in such situations. So you are definitely not alone there. Other members have been in such situation too you can talk to in the threads about it on how they deal with it.

    Also, if you are still unsure about the expectations of content here, you can make a request thread with what you are going to post and ask questions on it too before posting it.

    Just remember, you are not alone.

    I hope your situation gets better and you have a better experience here! Have a good day

  8. #8

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    I always hate it when mods remove threads and don't even tell you why. So you are left not knowing what you did. You don't know if it was a glitch or you think "huh, I thought i posted this, I guess i forgot" and then you try again. I even had my posts removed here and got a warning about it because I didn't know a mod was deleting them, I thought it was a bug on the forum. There had been bugs here at the time where not all posts would show or when double quoting was happening so how was I supposed to know a mod was removing it? I even had my signature toyed with too and I was informed they deleted the link in it because they told me after I put it back and told me do not post it again.

    That has to be one of my pet peeves on forums. Then they ban you for it or warn you as if you were doing it on purpose because you didn't know they were doing it and you thought it was a glitch or something.

    Lot of times I always think it's mod abuse they are doing because I think they remove threads for no reason and they do it just to do it because if there is a thread they find boring or don't like, they remove it even though the user didn't break any rules with it. I suppose that is why they keep the locked threads visible with their reason for it so members won't think there is mod corruption going on because they kept seeing threads disappearing. Sometimes they do lock it and then remove it after they think enough members have seen it already and the reason for it. I think it's all about making their forum look good.


    But when my threads keep being removed (no I don't mean it's not happening here), I also feel unwanted and wonder if it's their way of wanting me to leave. Instead of banning me, they keep removing my posts so I will get tired of it and leave. I am sure that does happen on some places. I knew of a place that muted a member because he was trolling to get banned and the mods knew his agenda so they muted him instead. I knew on another forum where a admin would just change peoples login information as her way of banning them and they wouldn't appear on the ban list. It was called a silent ban. I went to a forum back when I was 18 or 19 and my posts kept disappearing. Luckily I lost interest in the place and left. Maybe they wanted me to leave or something and it was a coincidence I left if that is what they wanted. I didn't break any rules when I made posts, they just kept deleting them. Mods will do weird things sometimes when they don't want you there so instead of banning you, they do other things. Sometimes they will gun you and find anything to warn you about or tell you about that claim are breaking the rules when it wasn't and bam you leave because you get tired of the BS. I knew a forum like that too and members would leave because of it. I call it picking apart a post.
    Last edited by Calico; 15-May-2013 at 22:26.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I always hate it when mods remove threads and don't even tell you why. So you are left not knowing what you did. You don't know if it was a glitch or you think "huh, I thought i posted this, I guess i forgot" and then you try again. I even had my posts removed here and got a warning about it because I didn't know a mod was deleting them, I thought it was a big on the forum. There had been bugs here at the time where not all posts would show or when double quoting was happening so how was I supposed to know a mod was removing it? I even had my signature toyed with too and I was informed they deleted the link in it because they told me after I put it back and don't me to not post it again.

    That has to be one of my pet peeves on forums. Then they ban you for it or warn you as if you were doing it on purpose because you didn't know they were doing it and you thought it was a glitch or something.

    Lot of times I always think it's mod abuse they are doing because I think they remove threads for no reason and they do it just to do it because if there is a thread they find boring or don't like, they remove it even though the user didn't break any rules with it. I suppose that is why they keep the locked threads visible with their reason for it so members won't think there is mod corruption going on because they kept seeing threads disappearing. Sometimes they do lock it and then remove it after they think enough members have seen it already and the reason for it. I think it's all about making their forum look good.


    But when my threads keep being removed (no I don't mean it's not happening here), I also feel unwanted and wonder if it's their way of wanting me to leave. Instead of banning me, they keep removing my posts so I will get tired of it and leave. I am sure that does happen on some places. I knew of a place that muted a member because he was trolling to get banned and the mods knew his agenda so they muted him instead. I knew on another forum where a admin would just change peoples login information as her way of banning them and they wouldn't appear on the ban list. It was called a silent ban. I went to a forum back when I was 18 or 19 and my posts kept disappearing. Luckily I lost interest in the place and left. Maybe they wanted me to leave or something and it was a coincidence I left if that is what they wanted. I didn't break any rules when I made posts, they just kept deleting them. Mods will do weird things sometimes when they don't want you there so instead of banning you, they do other things. Sometimes they will gun you and find anything to warn you about or tell you about that claim are breaking the rules when it wasn't and bam you leave because you get tired of the BS. I knew a forum like that too and members would leave because of it. I call it picking apart a post.
    In this case the reasons for thread deletion were given more than once; I saw that thread and IMO it wasn't a good fit for Adisc. If left me feeling uncomfortable and unable to give quality input to such a subject.

    I wish there were some boring threads being deleted - I haven't seen it happening as I have to scroll through pages and pages of stale topics to find the last place I posted

    One can't carry the attitude that every site is run by Mod Nazis; people tie themselves in too emotionally to words on a screen sometimes (very often). If you wouldn't say it in a cafeteria or classroom, don't say it on a forum.

    Sometimes I'm thankful the mods are on the job; I've started a thread or 2 that I've regretted not long after I've clicked the Submit button, realizing almost too late that I wasn't communicating something effectively or tastefully

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by MOPaddED View Post
    ..snip.. If you wouldn't say it in a cafeteria or classroom, don't say it on a forum. ..snip..
    Really?
    So you would not have a problem saying all things you post in here with your class mates then? :P

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