I am looking for links/resources that might
be helpful to my therapist in understanding .
I've told my therapist and she has taken it well
so I asked her if she would like me to share some
links/resources. But I am at loss on this. I would like her
to understand it better from my view as a non-sexual
regressive AB. I would like her to understand that
this is a big part of me but I don't know how
to enplane it.
If you read this please don't be to harsh
PTSD make vulnerability vary hard for me.
I am seeing a therapist for early childhood
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)
and I am a shut in. wikipedia is a good sorce if you
want to understand (C-PTSD) better.
She knows that I am a non-sexual regressive AB
and I have tried to explane a little of it to her .
About 3 secessions ago she asked if I had a place
where I felt safe and relaxed. I told her about my
giant nursery and tried to explain that I define myself
as a non-sexual regressive AB. I even showed her
some pictures of my giant toy collection.
I avoided telling her more than that for me it's
about getting into the "head space" than anything
and that for me it was non-sexual.
Last secessions she asked me what
do I relay want if I could have anything.
At fist I didn't know what to say to her.
I started off with stuff within the
realm of reality.
I told her I wanted to go back to school
and get my life back, be the person I was before
She wanted more.
I think all the hesitation told her
there was much more.
I told her if anything where posable
would want back the childhood that was taken from me.
That I wanted to be able to trust and love again
the way a child dose (outside of age play).
I told her if anything where posable
I told her I want to understand what it feels like
to be a child and not have my understanding of
what love and trust is violated. That way I could
understand that the world is not as dark as my
personal experience has informed me.
Then I told her if ANYTHING where posable I would be
want to be 2 years old again raised by a family that
would nurture me rather than take advantage of
She took all that vary well.
Said she would like some links/resources
when I offered them. She reassured me that she feels
we can get that person back that I was before the PTSD.
She asked me if we could use some dolls of her's in
therapy next Monday.
STILL (out of shame?)
I have never explained what regressive
"head space" feels like to me, or how I don't
feel like I have the same inner adult other people
seem have. I never explained my dislike and lack
understanding of many adult behaviors and activities
Or my enjoyment or how much I miss many things
that I am sure most adults would find childish at best.
And I don't think I could stand the shame of telling
her about the paraphernalia and how it makes me
I am a little frighted that when/if I
tell her how much of my life revolves around this
this she might think me seriously disturbed.
I differently don't want to use the word dysphoria
as in (age dysphoria) seeing how that is not a recognized
diagnosis and I have no way of knowing *I* have it
IF there is such a thing.
And I have C-PTSD from child abuse to
complicate things more. I have no idea if the C-PTSD
and abdl stuff are related because the child abuse
was from age 1ish to 18ish, the age play stuff
definitely started at 5 or so, and the regressive
"head space" stuff started in my 20s.
There was much in tiny's thread that I
identified with. But that was personal to him and so
I don't think I will share that. There is a lot here on
But I did volunteered links to help her understand
it from my own perspective party because I feel like my
words are going to fail me.... and I feel lost.
I thought if I could find links/resources
to give her it would sort of give me another voice
to speak with. adisc that I could share but I would
neaver want to violate anyone's privacy.
So I am still stuck for links.