Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: "Daddy" without the "Dom?"

  1. #1

    Default "Daddy" without the "Dom?"

    I am new to the ABDL world and my boyfriend has been very supportive and encouraging as I explore it so far. One thing that has caught my eye in particular are daddy/littlegirl relationships. My initial interpretation of these roles were of a supportive, nurturing "daddy" who is both a lover, a role-model, and an authority figure, and a littlegirl who is an ABDL female that the daddy cares for. Now I see from doing more research that that is not the case and that the littlegirl role is detached from ABDL and ageplay (although it can, and often does, come into play) and the dynamic is actually Dom/sub thing that has more in common with BDSM.

    When reading introductory material about what daddies are, I noticed a lot of statements iterating things like that a daddy "molds" his babygirl into a person he wants her to be, and when looking at personal rules that daddies have set for their littlegirls, I saw things like "No internet/phone access unless it's for emergencies" and "no leaving the house unattended." This doesn't sound like something I want at all. I want to develop into a better person alongside my significant other and I like the idea of having rules set for me pertaining to things like bedtimes/bathing/time-outs/drinking out of a sippy cup or bottle, but I don't want anyone to have complete psychological control over me.

    So my question is, are there people out there who have the kind of daddy/littlegirl relationships I initially interpreted that are completely detached from BDSM/Doms and subs/Masters and slaves? I have already started calling my boyfriend "daddy" because I was excited to dive into all these things headfirst, but the more research I do on daddy/LG relationships, the less appealing they seem to me...

  2. #2


    How a relationship operates is always up to the parties involved. It's nice to have external examples of things you would like to do yourself, but there are by no means strict definitions of how either person should act. In fact, in my own experience, comparing yourself to others just leads to unhappiness.

    You have just as much control over the relationship as your partner. Be open and communicative with them about where you'd like the relationship to go.

    If you are not interested in it being a BDSM relationship, then who says it has to be? Just make it clear you don't want that.

    If you are comfortable with calling your partner "Daddy", then keep it up. There doesn't need to be any hidden meaning to it.

    We choose to be in these Little/Caretaker roles, so it follows that the title we give ourselves and what it implies is up to us.

  3. #3


    You might want to check out this article, it's about caretaker/little relationships from the caretaker's perspective it might be more like what you want than specific advice on how other Daddy/LG relationships work if the one's you've seen don't fit what you want.

  4. #4


    Offhand, I don't know if there are other people in relationships like you describe. However, I don't see it as important either way. Whether there's just you two or hundreds of millions is irrelevant. You and your partner build a relationship that makes sense to the two of you and unless there's criminal activity involved, it's no business of ours. You can look for examples and ask for advice but at the end of the day it's what works for the two of you.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by DylanK View Post
    You might want to check out this article, it's about caretaker/little relationships from the caretaker's perspective it might be more like what you want than specific advice on how other Daddy/LG relationships work if the one's you've seen don't fit what you want.
    Thank you, this was a very helpful article. I think I'm able to formulate an idea of my boundaries and what I want a little better now. When researching daddies and LGs on blogs and fetlife I felt a little lost in trying to navigate the sea of information to find something closer to what I was looking for, so ABDL-specific resources are definitely more useful to me in this regard.
    Last edited by cherieberry; 30-Apr-2013 at 12:24. Reason: Edited out information I felt was a bit too private

  6. #6


    I agree with some of your points; I find the concept of dominants "molding" their submissive into what they want very unappealing. I do have an interest in some things that are in BDSM, but I don't find 24/7 enjoyment in "Do it because I said so." Besides the times that I do enjoy that way of things, I feel more motivated to listen if it was worded like "Could you do (something) for Daddy, (pet-name)? / It would make Daddy really happy/proud of you if you did (whatever it is)" etc. I don't mean guilt either, but praise. I like making my significant other happy, so I'd be quite eager to please. I can't say I really have that right now, but I'd want that part of our relationship to be sweet, adorable, and unconditionally loving. I don't think any type of relationship is "wrong", but everyone is different and has their own preferences. :3 That's what makes each one special.
    Last edited by Mew; 01-May-2013 at 00:48.

  7. #7


    Most of what you have read isnt true daddy and little girl relationships. BDSM has its own initials just as ABDL does. THey might overlap from time to time, but you can have one without having any of the other. As far as Daddy or a Dom being in charge, yes they will have that in common, but it does not make them the same thing. You and your boyfriend/daddy have every right to go about this as you see fit, and you can live the life you want without whips, chains and collars involved. All a man has to do is treat his adult babygirl, with the same loving and kind devotion that any good dad would give to his very own baby. Different people have different needs yes, but you can call him daddy because he is daddy to you, without being a Dominant. Subs and slaves have much less room for error, but as an ABgirl you are free to explore, play, color and paint and your daddy should know that babies will be babies. I wish you the best of luck, feel free to ask any questions

  8. #8


    I had to laugh a little bit... I never thought about this before.

    Honestly, I don't think this is true for every relation or caretaker in general out there. People are different and so is their desire; what they're doing in a daddy - lg/ab roleplay.

    Furthermore, this just sounds wrong somehow. Forcing some silly rules for all day long? Even my little side would say: "Screw them, if you're not there, I can do what I want. And furthermore you don't have control over me"
    As far as I know, even most subs, regarding a bdsm relationship, don't want to be the subordinate part all the time, i.e. I mean beyond desires and whatsoever, as your example about the internet restriction.

    For me goes just the same, I don't want to be little all the time, or "dominated", though, I wont be even if I'm little much more, since I like to test my boundaries and got a way bigger desire for a kind of freedom this way.
    Also I want to have adult time, for myself and for my bf (daddy~), being all the time in the roleplay would be kinda boring, for me. I want to talk seriously, do other stuff, have an equal individual right in front of me.
    But everyone is different, some may enjoy this, but I really think, a big part does not. So there a lot of caretakers out there, who don't want to dominate all the time.

    Furthermore, since we had a similar thread a while ago, regarding the switching between caring and wanted to get cared for.
    For me goes, and since I know that a lot of people, which got the minor role in a relationship, but are dominant on the outside, or also regarding other parts in their relationship, that one side doesn't need to have to do anything with the other side. You can surely enjoy being the subordinate part in your special time or while roleplaying, but on the other hand you may be the one, which dominates the relationship in other aspects, i.e. for the most part, as an example.

    So in the end, I say that you shouldn't think too much about this. I would say, take a look at it from the same perspective like finding a partner.
    Not everyone is the right one for you. You need to check out, who fits, got the same or supplementary interests, besides other stuff. And the same goes for your daddy too, and vice versa.

  9. #9


    My boyfriend is my Daddy, and we don't do ANY BDSM stuff when I am "Rose". He nurtures me and cares for me, and besides, my "little self" is so independant that I don't thing she would listen to her daddy if she was being forced to do something.

  10. #10


    Apologies for the harsh tone, but I'm a bit tired and sick of both the BDSM and ABDL community in that too many people try to tell other people their own way of doing things is the one "right" way. That is just total BS. There is no "right" way. There is no definition of what a caretaker is, what BDSM is. There are only opinions, that reflect one individuals thoughts about that particular topic.

    Now that being said, something more constructive. While all caretakers might be doing some caretaking, I dare claim that each and every single one of those caretakers does it differently, for different reasons, enjoying different aspects, the way they think about it.... And I am sure this goes just the same for little ones, subs, slaves and the likes. After all, what we do, why we do it and what we like about it all depends on our personality. And this is something unique. Your personality and all that comes with it just exists once. It might appear everyone does it for the same reasons, but I say that's not correct.

    So why care what people say about it? Why care how others call it, how you should call it or if others tell you this and that is not bdsm/caretaking because blah blah... Just do your own thing.

    Do what you like. Do it just the way you like it. There is no manual, try out things to do and talk. Share with each other which things you do like doing and which you don't like as much. Don't bother with definitions. Sure you can ask around, read around, get input, get advice. But in the end, the only thing that should matter really is what makes you both happy. And then do that. And enjoy it. And be happy.

    P.S.: I do believe there are many that like just what you are describing and that roughly share your general views about this. They might just talk less about it, for example a sub deciding things (topping from the bottom, in BDSM) is frowned upon by those whom are of the opinion only the Dom should decide. So those that like it just like that might not be sharing their preferences as frequently.

Similar Threads

  1. Size "small" and "medium" seem to NEVER exist.
    By CJtheCat in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 12-Jan-2013, 05:20
  2. Are terms like "fetish" and "paraphilia" outdated/unhelpful?
    By cm90210 in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 31-Dec-2012, 21:24
  3. Replies: 99
    Last Post: 23-Jul-2012, 17:43
  4. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 21-May-2011, 08:58

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.