Before I became sexually active, no drinking, no smoking or drugs, I would tend to think of myself as "pure" or "innocent." You know the type, very shy, hardly ever talks or hangs out with the wrong crowd.
The first time I ever had sexual contact, it felt like nothing I could ever try to describe, but afterwards, I felt like filth and my bus ride back home (I was still living in the city at the time), it was almost as everyone KNEW what I had done and the guilt and shame was written all over my face.
Needless to say, it changed my perspective on life, but I still felt as though I was "pure" in some ways because I had never done drugs or any of the sort.
Fast-forward to my (now) husband who grew up with a "hippy-but-extremely-intelligent" family and after four years of begging me to give "smoking" a try; I came to the next morning and I've never been the same afterwards.
I knew I couldn't claim "pureness" anymore, but it didn't really hit home until I began to befriend one or two friends around me who are in a sense, "virgins at life" if you understand what I'm saying.
Has anyone ever been down this same road and felt the same way? It's as if to say, you try to live a "proud and straight edge" lifestyle, but at the same time, you feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Ether that, or is this just a natural step in adulthood?