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Thread: Need Some Advice

  1. #1

    Default Need Some Advice

    Well I am a DL My fiancee knows this and shes great about it I introduced her to the life style and well I have created a monster in a good way but we have recently learned that her dad has stage 4 cancer and has a few short months left as she is still exploring her kinky side she a few times has called me daddy I am a little uncomfortable with her calling me that with the situation at hand
    I also need to try to help her figure out where she wants to go with this more as well, Any advice

  2. #2

  3. #3


    Maybe this is helping her to cope with a difficult time in her life. I'm sure it's ok.

  4. #4


    I'd really second Oateson's reply in that this is something really complex and involved between the two of you. One simple suggestion I could offer that you could toss into your discussion with her is that maybe she could call you something different. Of course this could very well be that calling you "papa" for instance wouldn't make it for her in this scenario. It should be something you can talk and resolve one way or the other.

    I'm sorry to hear of the troubles in your family. That has to be a heavy weight for all involved.

  5. #5


    It is in more ways than any of you all know there are other things going on with me personally as well that add to the stress

  6. #6


    Firstly, I would speak to her though about HER feelings and why she's chosen to call you that. Clearly, replacing her Dad with you is not healthy and will not end well. If she's just ... searching for a new chapter in the kink, perhaps - as Trevor pointed out - she could (should) call you something different. My wife and I had to explore quite a bit to find a maternal name that we could use and NOT feel weird that it's what we called our actual Mothers. Perhaps luckily, I call my Mom 'Ma' and she just uses Mom, so Mommy and Mama were free to use.

    Secondly, and this is just pure opinion that you can take or leave, maybe back off on the kink until the situation (that sounds so cold, I'm sorry ) has been dealt with. This includes the passing of her Dad and the aftermath it's sure to have on her emotions. My wife has had a few people in her family pass just in the last 6 months and we've laid off just so emotions could be dealt with. Granted, if regressing is her way of dealing with the emotions - then that's a different story.

    In the end, honesty and gentleness will no doubt be your friends at this time. I'm sorry to hear about your father in law, also. Cancer is a bastard, I've lost many family to it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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