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Thread: Purchasing and Self-Acceptance

  1. #1

    Default Purchasing and Self-Acceptance

    This is pretty much my first post besides my intro so I'm trying to get a little more active than just lurking. That being said, I am a little confused where this really goes because I've seen these kinds of posts in both the AB and DL subforum so if I am wrong I am sorry.

    As it's been discussed a million times, I want to try and explore this part of myself and go out and purchasing some diapers at local store. (I still live at home and my family is very intruding and don't really have the luxury of purchasing online at the current moment)

    There are very certain points during my day or during the week I'll be accepting of myself. At night, I'll be 100% for idea of purchasing diapers, and then waking up the next morning or I start thinking how stupid I am for wanting to do it and back out. I feel like I should just go out and buy them and then when the urge comes back I'll have them? Should I just start with something smaller like a pacifier?

  2. #2


    I say go ahead and buy the diapers! There have been times when I am too busy or caught up in life to enjoy being diapered but I always try to make sure I have some within easy access. You never know when your inner baby just needs to be let out! and this way you will never have that "Man I wish I bought some when I had the chance" feeling.

  3. #3


    It definitely is nerve-wracking to buy diapers for the first time. I once stood in the store staring at the Depends for so long that an employee came to watch me - I think he was worried I was a shoplifter! The best thin to do is just go for it. Go in, walk straight to the diapers, get the type you want, and go pay. It's scary, I know. but I've only had two cashiers ever mention my purchase while I'm cashing out (and I've made close to 100 diaper or related purchases), neither were mean or condescending, and I never saw any of them again. So don't worry. You won't ever see those people again, the whole exchange is under a minute, and then you'll have those diapers you want. Give it a try - you'll be glad you did!

  4. #4


    I'm going to take a slightly different tack here. Just how intruding is your family? How bad would it be if you were discovered? Do you have a very good place to keep these things if you got ahold of them? Think hard on these before you go out to buy. Buying can be embarassing and anxiety-inducing (it isn't for me anymore, and I kind of miss it), but it's over in a few minutes. Keeping a stash is an ongoing risk and one that, depending on the likely response of those who might snoop, is far more damaging. If I had it to do over again, I don't think I would keep a stash. I would more likely buy when I knew I'd be alone for long enough to take advantage of the absence and either dispose of the rest or attempt to use them rapidly rather than maintain that ongoing risk.

    My stuff was discovered twice by parents that weren't even nosy. My hiding places weren't great and random chance led them to look in that place for something entirely different. I would spare anyone that unpleasantness who wasn't properly prepared. If you do decide to go ahead and buy and keep items, work out ahead of time what your response might be if they were discovered. Maybe after you've answered all those questions, the prospect of facing a cashier won't seem so daunting.

  5. #5


    I remember feeling scared to death buying diapers for the first time! For years afterward I managed going to the store and buying them. My parents soon found out doing it this way, so my best advice is,if you can is to buy online and have shipped to a friends house. You can also, if near by have them ready for pickup at the UPS store or Post office.

  6. #6


    We've all gone through this thinking process. The embarrassment factor of being found out is unimaginable. You just have to prepare for your stash. Is buying something that locks up be something you'd consider? Perhaps a duffle bag that can be locked up. Buying a duffle bag large enough should be pretty easy (to find). Shipping through the UPS Store will be your best bet if you have a source of transportation. Then you wouldn't have to worry about packages falling into the wrong hands. A lot of paranoia will take its place, you just have to know that you're stuff is safe from others finding.

  7. #7


    I appreciate all of the responses you guys have given me! I guess I just assumed that it wouldn't be a bad idea to just dive into it without considering my living arrangements. My family tends to snoop a lot and have random, "oh we should clean sessions." This leads to things from dirty magazines to all other things being found. From all of the input you guys have given me I have no doubt that it's not such a big deal and that if any of you can do it I can too. I guess it might be the best personal option for me to wait until I have my own living space so I don't have to deal with my family. Patience is a virtue, and I know that just by waiting a little longer.

    I've forgotten about the fact that FedEx and other places can just hold online purchases so that might definitely be a good option in the future. If I did go out and buy something that locks like a dufflebag etc... it would certainly arouse suspicion.

    This has been a great first start for me, hopefully I can at least be a little more active in the community now that I've actually dipped my feet and posted something.

  8. #8


    Many sites offer sample packs of two. The cost per diaper is about $3 each, but you can experiment with different types and not worry about a large stash.

  9. #9


    First, stop feeling guilty and stupid about your feelings. You are not alone, and those feelings are genuine, and part of the real you. The sooner you embrace and accept that, the happier you will be. Having said that, don't ever expect family and friends to understand. That doesn't make you wrong, it means they are uninformed.

    I once went into a drug store late at night to buy some diapers and plastic pants. The "incontinence" pants did not have a price tag. So when the cute cashier tried to ring up the purchase, she had to get on the intercom and ask for a price check for incontinence pants. Except it took her two or three times to try to pronounce incontinence. So the whole store new what I was buying. However, she was more embarrassed than I was. For me it was thrilling to have the whole store full of people that I would never see again wonder what I was up to and has become a special memory. Always act confident and it will get your through any situation.

    But you may need to wait until you live alone to be able to have the freedom to be the real you. Something to work towards. Have patience and be true to yourself.

  10. #10


    I've had the 'Oh man I wish I got them today' feeling.

    I think my advice, at your age you can easily pretend you're picking them up for your younger brother on your way home; regardless of whether you have a younger brother or not! I had it in my head they were going to be for a cousin.

    You're not alone on these thoughts and to just go for it and embrace it will be something you won't forget - or regret!

    It won't be easy, like others, I was still petrified. In, out as if it's something you do every week and 99.9% of the time, no one will even comment.


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