Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: A message from my wife

  1. #1

    Default A message from my wife

    So. I've been pestering the missus to get an account so she could do this herself, but an account seems to be across the line for the foreseeable future. So, at the risk of not being believed, (I'll try not to care) I'll share a couple thoughts. I'll try and keep this short.

    We have come to the conclusion, that, for us, we are each others' sexual, physical and emotional caretakers. No one else will ever even get the chance to act as any of those to me other than my wife, and vice versa.

    That being said, my wife always brings up, when she knows I've been on ADISC, how upset she is that other SOs don't at least TRY (her emphisis) to gratify their ABDL partners. Her argument-and mine, now-is that since she's the only one who will ever (gods willing) be around to fill the roll of my caretaker, it's her (and my) obligation to at least try to fit into my (or her, but I'm going to quit with the parentheticals) little fetish.

    My wife was confused, turned on and worried that I wanted to try diaper lovemaking. But, knowing I'd never be able to try unless she tried as well, she tried...and loved it. Now she makes me at least bring one out when we do it (I'm getting older...)

    So what do you think? She and I think there is so much pleasure--and pain(the bad kind, I'm not into bdsm)-- to be had by or by not at least attempting to be compatible that the default should be "attempt".

    Oh, and before you all think our thing is perfect, she refuses to ever wear, be social on sites like this or let me call her mommy or treat me like a baby...which I'm interested in, but not enough to be psychically hurt when she refuses...if I was, I'd hope that would be a different matter).

    This is life, it's forever...where's the compassion?

  2. #2

    Default

    Hmmm, maybe that's just because all the blood in my brain has recently moved to my stomach to digest the pizza I just had for lunch, but somehow I feel I'm not getting what it is you're trying to tell us/ask us here.

    Could you try to be a bit more specific?

  3. #3

    Default

    Sorry about that! So: If you're in a committed relationship, do you think it's the obligation of both parties to be as sexually/mentally/physically accepting and nurturing as possible, even to the extent of trying like hell to incorporate most kinks into their lives?

    I guess you'd still have to read my op for context, but I hope that helps!


  4. #4

    Default

    Thanks for explaining

    I'm currently single, but I'd like to have a partner. And I would of course prefer to have a partner who shares my kinks because he has the same ones.

    What I wouldn't want is for my partner to participate _only_ because I like something although he himself doesn't enjoy it.

    What I also wouldn't want is to have to participate in something I find displeasing just because he likes it.

    I'm not sure if it's healthy to be compelled to participate in anything the other person wants, even if it's against your own wishes.
    I guess in extreme cases, there could be deal breakers in that area.

    However this doesn't negate the possibility of trying something new because the other one suggests it. And if both enjoy it, then that's great

  5. #5

    Default

    My input for what it's worth. If you are honest with your partner up front and they accept you and the relationship then yes! People will stray if they have to hide their fantasies. For those who throw this issue a year or so after they have been with there partner shame on them. I let my wife know of 20 years a month after we were dating and she started to stay the night. She had the option to accept or not and move on. I've tried the purge thing as she went through her issues but it never worked. I feel good in my heart I was honest up front and she is more accepting of it now. But my issue is more of an IC issue then kink. Over time I've turned into DL.





    Quote Originally Posted by xtrabulk View Post
    Sorry about that! So: If you're in a committed relationship, do you think it's the obligation of both parties to be as sexually/mentally/physically accepting and nurturing as possible, even to the extent of trying like hell to incorporate most kinks into their lives?

    I guess you'd still have to read my op for context, but I hope that helps!


  6. #6

    Default

    As much as I would love to agree with you, xtrabulk, I do think there's a place for people to set hard limits, and that's where it gets complicated. I face this problem with my SO all the time. She's strongly opposed to wearing diapers, and I would really like to try being a caretaker. But while I realize that to me it just seems like, "so what, it's just a diaper? What's the big deal??" to her, it probably is a big deal, and may be hard line that she can't cross. If she were into something like scat play, for example, I'd have to lay down a hard limit. I do think there's virtue in being willing to sacrifice a little and broaden our horizons for the sake of those we love, but I also recognize that there are some things where we cannot compromise.

  7. #7

    Default

    That's the thing about love... It should be all give, that way neither party would feel over used but I think fewer coupled than we think have such a dynamic.

    My husband and I laid down a few bedroom no nos before we were wed. So I felt the need to bring up my not so vanilla tastes and he brought up a few things too. We said we would try our best to keep a open mind while sticking to a few rules unless discussed otherwise later on.

    He rarely will offer any bedroom ageplay or initiate daddy baby time but when I ask he is very honest, but will try. Recently told me sometimes he feels awkward cause he lacks ideas but when I'm in my baby head space it's hard to verbally explain a lot. But just like everything else in marriage, we're working on it!

  8. #8

    Default

    Usually when people have a bad reaction when their AB partner comes out of the closet, is because they don't understand at all and initial reaction will always be shocking at first (unless they have known before the truth had come out.)

    Some people are hard headed and let their initial judgements stick. The messed up part about it is that we usually don't know where it comes from ourselves. In return, they make up something in their heads to try to envision it to explain it to themselves. They most likely won't do any internet research on their own and would probably rather see what their friends would think of it.

    Mainstream media definitely doesn't help with any of that. They often make us look like freaks rather than normal people.

    Also its not very often people would like to pee in to a worn garment. Sometimes, people get turned off to it. You can't really turn on a turn off. People just think of it as weird or don't really know what to make of it. I still consider myself weird because of this. It's rather silly when you think of it and it's probably seen silly by other people as well and not taken seriously when brought up during intimate moments.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by xtrabulk View Post
    Sorry about that! So: If you're in a committed relationship, do you think it's the obligation of both parties to be as sexually/mentally/physically accepting and nurturing as possible, even to the extent of trying like hell to incorporate most kinks into their lives?

    I guess you'd still have to read my op for context, but I hope that helps!

    Relationships are a give-give scenario. Without this recipe they eventually fail. The willingness to 'at least' try is important. It says "I love you and I am willing to try and understand you better. I want to help you fulfill your desires and fantasies if I can"

    I also read your original post and can state that there are of course dangerous bounderies. Obsessive behavior can grow into a self-obsession and overshadow a partner's needs. The frequency, weight, and associated risks of any kink must be well thought out and discussed. Sometimes an SO just needs reassurance that it's not 'pandora's box' and it can remain manageable.

    If you remain sensitive to her thoughts and feelings and indulge her in her fantasies as well, she may eventually open up to more exploration in your fetishes and kinks.

    Communication and reassurance is key here. Good luck!

  10. #10

    Default

    Thanks, all. Some really good stuff here. Maybe it's the unusualness of our kink that makes most of us willing to try new things. I know I'd do just about anything for my wife, who is so accepting. Bring on the threesome (fingers crossed!...but not really).

Similar Threads

  1. wife of AB/Dl in need of help...
    By Sad in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 15-Jan-2012, 16:22
  2. Should I tell the Wife?
    By TimmyDaToddler in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-May-2011, 20:42
  3. My wife wants kid's
    By matt1989 in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 16-Feb-2011, 23:41

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.