Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: Telling family about growing incon issues?

  1. #1

    Question Telling family about growing incon issues?

    Well as the title says, I'm thinking of telling my family about my incon issues...

    Back story:
    My incontinence first appeared when I was 15. My mother said I was very quick and easy to potty-train, and would rarely have a bed wetting incident; it never progressed past the age of 4 which sounds normal enough.
    Eleven years later, when I was 15 in high school, I started having issues controlling myself. I wet the bed a number of times, and could feel myself letting out small streams of pee into my pants at school. Luckily we had uniform and I wore black pants during this time. I also remember sitting at the computer and full-on wetting myself and the chair. I was distraught and did everything I could to clean the chair. I told my dad I spilled juice or something.

    Strangely, these bouts would come and go. Because I was also ABDL, I decided to try some diapers and go that route. I never told anyone about it and kept it to myself. It lasted for only a couple months. And it's been like that since then... On and off, and on and off, and on... Quite frustrating.
    Last year, I slept on my friend's couch and had a wetting accident during the night. I was SO embarrassed, but she was sympathetic and we threw the couch out later that day (it was a god-awful pink and purple colour anyway).

    Well, in the past couple months it started up again. But up until today, I believe it's getting worse. I combat it with doubling up at night with plastic pants, and wearing a light cloth-backed diaper during the day. I've been 24/7 for well over a month now pretty much. It's getting worse because, though I still wet day and night, I'll have a messy accident during the night once every 2 weeks average.
    I'm just a little stressed because I'm finding it very hard to change my diaper in my room when there are other people in the house. I change an average of 3-5 times a day, and I've had one-too-many close calls! I also have to sneak around my family to get packs of pads to my room, hiding them all the time. Not to mention the times I have #2 at night and hiding the smell (been using nag champra lol), and finding the opportune moment to start the long change. Not to mention I fear they'll hear the crinkle (cloth-backed still make a noise). The list will go on.

    So what do you guys say? Should I go for gold and hope for silver?
    How should I bring it up? How do I brace myself for a downfall? I just want relief.
    I also have reason to believe they already slightly know. My father saw my internet history when I was like 13 y/o and he passively mentioned the ABDL sites (I was young and stupid), so I'm also worried they won't believe me when I approach them about this because they'll think it's just some ploy.

    Input would be appreciated!

  2. #2


    Since September, I've had terrible back pain. As the months progressed, the pain became worse, to the point were I couldn't stand for more than 15 minutes. After that, the pain was so intense I had to sit down. I have a very bad, past back history, where in '86, I had a benign tumor removed from the nerves in my spine. The surgery was very painful, and the recovery time took a couple of months. To make matters worse, I couldn't urinate and had to learn how to catheterize myself. This lasted for more than a month before things started working again.

    You can imagine how I felt with similar symptoms returning. Like you, I had to make a decision. I felt that I couldn't keep going on like this. My wife knew of the pain, suggesting that I go to a doctor. Close to spring break, I asked her to make the appointment. The doctor ordered an MRI, and they found a cyst close to the old incision site. This Wednesday I have similar surgery to correct the problem.

    Sometimes we have to bite the bullet if we want to have a better quality of life. If you don't want to continue peeing on couches and wetting the bed, you must bite the bullet and see a doctor. In my opinion, it's the right decision. Even if they have to put a tube up your penis, it's only once. Imagine me doing it to myself four times a day for a month or more. Believe me, there are worse things in life. Probably, they'll just prescribe some sort of medicine. I think it's worth it. Have hope that you can beat this thing and see the Doc. I'm with you.

  3. #3


    If they hear the news from a physician they are bound to accept the words with more weight to them since you'll be wearing due to an actual medical necessity. I can't say you'll have a valid reason to have all of the other paraphernalia but at least you'll be able to wear and store the diapers with impunity

  4. #4

  5. #5


    Sometimes mixing what I know about my family and the stories I read online freak me out lol
    Plus how can you really predict how someone is going to act? I feel a little scared, but exhilarated with the drive to be truthful.

    I'm also kind of worried that the doctor may not find anything wrong, and that could add to the idea that my parents won't believe me...?
    Maybe I'm just overreacting. I know dogboy is right, but the first step is always the hardest, it seems.

  6. #6


    My opinion here is - sit the family down, explain them what is going on. Not once do you mention the ABDL aspect. Hopefully your father has forgotten about that from those years ago.. You can mention the accidental wettings of your friend's sofa etc. explain how hard that was for you to deal with. Tell them you want to see a specialist to find out what is going on, but you hope they can understand and respect your needs for protection at this time. You might need to convince them that you don't want these diapers, but they are perhaps best solution for now.

    You stressing about all of this could be only be making the situation worse for you, stress is evil.

    I take it you will not be living at home for much longer, so you can look forward to more independence and freedom to wear and buy what you want, when you want.

    Good luck!

  7. #7


    I think your first port of call should be your doctor. Incontinence never happens without an underlying medical reason, and once you're on the medical pathway to finding out what that reason is, you will have evidence that something is medically wrong and that you're in the process of doing something to fix it. I think your parents would be more supportive of you in that case than they would if you simply diagnose yourself without seeking medical assistance.

    You can perhaps explain the ABDL websites by saying that you found them whilst doing internet research on incontinence. (That's exactly how I found ADISC!)

  8. #8


    Thanks for the help guys!
    Yeah, I'm definitely not going to mention the ABDL sites and was planning to deny anything ABDL right now if they brought it up.

    I'm normally an independent person and would have sought medical attention on my own, but I felt scared and embarrassed to bring it up to my new family doctor (I don't get embarrassed that easily lol). So I think telling my parents will be a little push, plus bring a bit of relief.

    Anyway, I am planning to tell them tomorrow morning. I work all day today and tomorrow, but I can tell them before work. I just want to find a time so we can talk as long as we want. Question though: how do I bring it up? What do I say?

  9. #9


    Tell them: "I need to schedule a doctor's visit, I've been having some embarassing episodes

  10. #10


    All right, thanks for the support guys. Im going to do it, despite the intense butterflies, tomorrow morning. The next time I post will be an update on the outcome!

Similar Threads

  1. Telling my family I wear diapers?
    By Incontinent17 in forum Incontinence
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 05-Jun-2011, 15:53
  2. Family issues
    By Masa in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Jan-2011, 21:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.