Well I had another therapy session today and was very pleased when I left. A lot a "rain on my parade" lately and struggling through it. I have also been on the down side of a binge cycle, and thanks for ALL of the support the support that I have gotten in the last three months. I have gained self-acceptance and am still learning the difference between need and want. But I am not doing the self lothing and shame aspect this time, which is making this aspect of my life easier to deal with.
If anyone needs yard equipment broken, just let me know and I will come touch it. This has been working for me this spring; one lawn tractor with a thrown piston, one power mower with a busted wheel and broken pull cord, and $230 repair on a power cultivator that was given to me with "A simple gas leak. Oh an the lawn is still not been mowed.
So I have been talking to a very close friend of 20 years today. We desided 19 1/2 years ago that we were best of friends and if it went any farther then that she and I would have killed each other. She is/was my dive buddy, and we have put our lives in each others hands on more then one occassion. We have been there for each other on several occassions in times of the need of a shoulder to cry on.
I had been telling her I wanted to share something with her and I was just not ready. Then today I was talking to her and finally came out with out a lot of detail and told her about the ABDL.
There was a lot of silence on the ear piece while I talked, then she was very soft spoken and reasuring. Now the big test will be how long until we talk again, text, facebook, ???????
I felt ok and her responce was within the spectrum of expectations. But I still have to wonder. Only time will tell.
I do have one more therapy appointment in six weeks.
So thats my story and I will stick to it.