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Thread: My Final Post

  1. #1

    Default My Final Post

    Well, I finally told my girlfriend EVERYTHING (because my mother found out the hard way and that led to an awkward conversation that went pretty well). She didn't even look at me weird. She says she won't ask me to stop and doesn't even care if I do it around her, as long as I'm not keeping secrets.

    BUT she did say that she does have a problem with me going on the internet, and I sort of get that.

    Now I just have to put this all on hold because it costs quite a bit, and I'm looking for engagement rings.

    So, this is goodbye. You all taught me a lot, not just about this thing we have in common, but about people in general. Thanks!

    I might get on a few times to RE to this thread, but that's it.

  2. #2

    Default

    So your girlfriend told you not to use the internet and your reaction is to go look for a ring.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by RetrieverPup View Post
    So your girlfriend told you not to use the internet and your reaction is to go look for a ring.
    My sentiments exactly...

  4. #4

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    I don't understand this. Why would it matter if you use the internet, and why would one listen without trying to find another alternative?

    Well, good luck to you, however, and congrats!

  5. #5

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    Pretty sure he means visiting sites like this on the internet. I'm guessing she's the kind of person who thinks looking at porn is cheating. I guess you could argue that he won't need this place anyways if she's accepting of the fetish.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Springcircle View Post
    Pretty sure he means visiting sites like this on the internet. I'm guessing she's the kind of person who thinks looking at porn is cheating. I guess you could argue that he won't need this place anyways if she's accepting of the fetish.
    You'd be so right if you weren't oh so wrong.


    Adisc doesn't host porn and doesn't allow links to porn. If his girlfriend has a issue with him coming here then she more then likely does have a issue with him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaciAlone View Post
    I might get on a few times to RE to this thread, but that's it.
    If I had a nickle every time I've seen that I'd have like maybe a dollar or something.

  7. #7

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    Youngsters.......

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    Youngsters......





    Quote Originally Posted by PaciAlone View Post
    Well, I finally told my girlfriend EVERYTHING (because my mother found out the hard way and that led to an awkward conversation that went pretty well). She didn't even look at me weird. She says she won't ask me to stop and doesn't even care if I do it around her, as long as I'm not keeping secrets.

    BUT she did say that she does have a problem with me going on the internet, and I sort of get that.

    Now I just have to put this all on hold because it costs quite a bit, and I'm looking for engagement rings.

    So, this is goodbye. You all taught me a lot, not just about this thing we have in common, but about people in general. Thanks!

    I might get on a few times to RE to this thread, but that's it.

  8. #8
    Countdown

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    Quote Originally Posted by Springcircle View Post
    Pretty sure he means visiting sites like this on the internet. I'm guessing she's the kind of person who thinks looking at porn is cheating. I guess you could argue that he won't need this place anyways if she's accepting of the fetish.
    I thought maybe his girlfriend was worried that he'd find a loving mommy or something (any AB/DL would laugh at the prospects of that , but someone not so experienced with it might genuinely be concerned).

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Countdown View Post
    I thought maybe his girlfriend was worried that he'd find a loving mommy or something (any AB/DL would laugh at the prospects of that , but someone not so experienced with it might genuinely be concerned).
    I found that funny, and I'm still quite the rookie.

    I suppose OP's thoughts are: why have a loving mommy, when I can have a mother hen who pecks all the time?

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaciAlone View Post
    Well, I finally told my girlfriend EVERYTHING (because my mother found out the hard way and that led to an awkward conversation that went pretty well). She didn't even look at me weird. She says she won't ask me to stop and doesn't even care if I do it around her, as long as I'm not keeping secrets.

    BUT she did say that she does have a problem with me going on the internet, and I sort of get that.

    Now I just have to put this all on hold because it costs quite a bit, and I'm looking for engagement rings.

    So, this is goodbye. You all taught me a lot, not just about this thing we have in common, but about people in general. Thanks!

    I might get on a few times to RE to this thread, but that's it.
    I'm really glad your girlfriend took the news so well. That must be a big weight off your shoulders! And if this is goodbye, I'll be sorry to see you go - the more the merrier around here, after all.

    I do want to give one caution, however. Having been in your situation before, I know you won't want to hear it, but just hear me out because it's important.

    I notice that you're looking for engagement rings. And I'm glad you love your girlfriend enough to consider marrying her, but please make sure you think this through.

    The fact that you're 18 isn't necessarily a big deal - a buddy of mine got married at 20, and it was the best thing he could've done. It does mean you need to understand that this will make things like college more difficult, and that you guys aren't finished growing up yet (I know, worst thing to say to an adult baby). But I'll assume you've thought all this through.

    My concern is the fact that she doesn't want you on the Internet (presumably, sites like ADISC). I get being worried about porn, since I'm not a fan of it myself, but a quick look around ADISC will reveal that it's not a porn site. It's a support community, and a vital one at that. We need to talk to others who are like us, to encourage one another and find self-acceptance. I'm very concerned that she would try to put a control on you in this way.

    Maybe I'm misinterpreting something, but to try and restrict your web usage for a site that's actually very helpful and has led many to self-acceptance strikes me as a harmful and controlling thing to do. And it's something you need to think about carefully if you're thinking about marriage.

    There's a reason I bring all this up. I was engaged at one point, too. There's a thread buried in the Mature Topics forum of me asking for advice on how to come out to my then-fiancée. I never ended up telling her, because I realized that for several years I'd been in a relationship where I was being controlled. Very subtly, she controlled my emotions, how I spent my time, and how I thought about others. I almost broke off contact with my family at her behest - and thank God I didn't! Scary thing was, we were a few months from our wedding date when I finally woke up and realized how messed up everything was. I'd been convincing myself I was happy until that point, but suddenly the truth hit me, and I realized just how much misery I'd been repressing. It took months before I was really right again.

    And I'm really, really sorry if this is all off-base. Maybe things are awesome with you and your girlfriend. But be VERY careful about someone who may be controlling. Show her around ADISC. Show her that we're not a hook-up site or a bunch of perverts. Let her know that this is a place where you can come to understand and accept yourself better - which will make you a better man for her, too.

    Just take my advice and be vigilant about the possibility of marrying a controlling person. I would've been completely miserable, even if she'd turned out accepting of my AB side. You know your relationship better than I do, so take stock and don't leap until you're really sure.

    All the best, and I hope to hear back from you!

    Adventurer

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