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Thread: So I've Got This Online Baby Boy...

  1. #1

    Default So I've Got This Online Baby Boy...

    I met a baby boy online a while ago, and so for the past few months I've been his Mommy. We set up rules and everything right off the bat, and for a little while he was pretty frequently in a pretty "little" headspace. However, lately other than rules it's felt a little like we're completely missing the AB part of this thing. We're both very new to this, but with the (very few) online babies I've been a Mommy for before there was definately more of a focus on what I can pretty much only describe as "baby time". Should I try to engage him in that, or should I wait for him to tell me what he wants? I don't want to push him and make him uncomfortable, but I don't want him feeling like he can't let that part of himself out with me.

  2. #2

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    Do you have a relationship with him (friendship is a relationship) outside of being his mommy? If so, how is that going? If you're getting along well in other areas, it's fair to ask what's up with this one. Maybe it's just a normal ebb and flow of interests or maybe he wants something and doesn't know how to ask about it.

    There are a lot of possible answers and you won't know until you talk about it. Communication and trust are key in these things. Make sure he knows he can talk with you about this (even if you may have told him before) when he's ready.

  3. #3

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    My "need" to be little fluctuates. Maybe his does too, and he's just not feeling very little.

    I agree with Trevor tho, you should sit down and talk about it .. Communication is the foundation for any relationship..

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by macabre View Post
    I met a baby boy online a while ago, and so for the past few months I've been his Mommy. We set up rules and everything right off the bat, and for a little while he was pretty frequently in a pretty "little" headspace. However, lately other than rules it's felt a little like we're completely missing the AB part of this thing. We're both very new to this, but with the (very few) online babies I've been a Mommy for before there was definately more of a focus on what I can pretty much only describe as "baby time". Should I try to engage him in that, or should I wait for him to tell me what he wants? I don't want to push him and make him uncomfortable, but I don't want him feeling like he can't let that part of himself out with me.
    A lot of 'babies' like the security of feeling like their caregiver knows what to do. Trevor's right in that you should talk to your baby boy to find out what his interests are in the whole situation, but just think of it as if you actually have a baby boy. What would you do with that baby boy? Would you take him out to the park? Would you go watch a movie? Would you get some ice cream and enjoy watching him get it all over his face as he tries to eat?

    The little things count. Even just saying "Oh no, it's raining outside! let's stay in for the day and snuggle a bit. Then we can watch a movie and I'll let you play with your toys while mommy goes and makes dinner." Then describe what you made, ask him if he likes the food. Talk about feeding him. Make it seem as real as you can. If you just think "Babies do this so I guess I'll have him do that," you could be missing important parts of the relationship. You both have to get into that mindset of being a normal mommy and baby. Don't overthink it, just be honest about it. If your baby does something how do you feel about it. If you do something, how does your baby feel about it. What are your reactions. Every little detail makes a difference in how you both perceive each other.

  5. #5

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    Obviously, sit down and ask him about it; if he's happy with the amount of baby time, if he'd like you to initiate more, if he prefers to just ask and receive...

    I honestly think it'll likely end up he's holding back out of unwillingness to 'take advantage' of you. I've done the same thing (and been told people felt that way about me). It gets into a vicious cycle where both of you WANT to do baby time, but you don't want to pressure him into things, so you don't push/initiate it, and he doesn't want to be greedy/selfish by making you do this thing he sees as 'for him'... I think in most cases it's best resolved by the 'dominant' party (that'd be you, 'Mommy' ) deciding to push a little more... It will help stop any guilt he might get from being the one who constantly initiates (I often worry I'm manipulating my CTs into lookin' after me), because he'll see you want to do it too. I also find that I'm happier to baby people more when they allow me to initiate; being pushed into baby play is very annoying, but doing it because I feel like it is very rewarding and empowering.

  6. #6

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    Thank you all for your insights and support. I guess comunication is key. This really should be a no brainer, but I guess sometimes actually applying common sense to one's own dealings is a tad bit harder than it should be. But really, thank you so much!

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