(While the above post is no way related in real life) coincidentally the other night I had a fight with my AB/DL husband.
I tried to communicate to him that I wanted a little more enthusiasm and interest shown in ME (vs diapers). The conversation didn't go well and ... eventually I had to just tell him, I was mentioning it to him because I often feel that he wants to masturbate using diapers, etc, more often than actually having sex with me.
--- Going to rant a little now.
I know this will seem silly to some people... I mean, a diaper's an inanimate object right? But... We used to have sex fairly regularly that didn't involve diapers. He didn't use to wear diapers that often, maybe once every couple of weeks. As time has gone on, he's indulged in diapers more and more, to the point that we're buying them in cases (not a cheap hobby) and he's wearing them almost every night, and sometimes all day, causing him to get rashes. I have to complain some days so he'll stop and air out for his own sake.
The physical barrier of a diaper has (more than a few times) discouraged him from having sex with me-- he prefers plastic crinkly ones with non-reusable tapes, resulting in repeated instances of ("I'm turned on, but I don't want to take it off and waste it! So....") I believe this has ultimately resulted in that he's now become more focused and reliant on a diaper for sexual gratification than me.
This was agitated by the fact that he wants to use diapers at odd times (Really, he's wearing them all day again? We're going hiking on the trails, and it's hot out, he'll be guzzling water all day. Now we have to make a special stops somewhere through out so he can change.) If I say something or complain, he acts like I'm being unreasonable. In the last several months he's even been careless about how much they might show.
On top of this, we have two kids. I've been changing diapers NON-STOP for the last five years. (Gave birth to the next just as one was getting potty trained.)
I would like to think that I'm pretty open, accepting, even accommodating... but whenever I feel my husband is indulging in diapers more than he is me (and he seems to be doing it more and more and more) then yes, I get uncomfortable. Jealous? Maybe.
Early on in our relationship when he told me about the diapers I was honestly cool with it. But I didn't think my whole life was going to so thoroughly revolve around diapers in the years to come... and I've never been good at self service sexually, so this has resulted in a lot of multifaceted discomfort for me. This hasn't turned into despair or resentment--- yet... just sadness.
And I didn't really mention any of this, I simply told him I want more sex that might involve a little more enthusiasm in my direction.
He made it clear that what I said made him feel sexually inadequate, and yes-- he even said, "You've lied to me! You've been lying to me this whole time, you're disgusted by what I like! Which means you probably don't really love me!" In no way did I ever say anything of the sort.
Maybe he's right... if being disgusted WITH something is the same as being BY something. Personally, I'm not disgusted by it... I just feel...