I have been gone from this site for quite a while, I even needed a new password, since I had forgotten it. My husband has know about my "little" side for some time. He originally said he wanted to help me explore this, even though it was something he found "unsettling."
Well, here it is: he uses my little side against me. If I am little without his specific approval, he does the whole passive-agressive moping bit. However, if I want him to be involved with my little time, I have to jump through all kinds of hoops and emotional barriers to get there. I think I may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, but after being together for over 20 years, I don't know if it still matters enough to try and get out.
I find it more and more difficult to get into the frame of mind where I feel safe enough to be little, and more and more easy to just be a grown up. I feel my childhood slipping away again, and it leaves me alternately numb and hurt. I know I wish I had just kept it to myself, and never let him know. He treats it as though it were a sexual kink instead a part of myself. I don't even want that part of my life to mix in, but assumes it is.
I'm not even sure why I am posting this, because I know it won't change anything, but I needed this in the world, instead of in my head.