I'm not sure if I made an intro in the past, If I did sorry for the small repeat,
I'm mid twenties, independent, with a secure job and generally a very chilled out relaxed person.
I'm engaged to the most amazing women, same age, known each other for a very long time, we have a house together and are getting married within the month.
We watched an episode of Friends last night, and part of it went on about not keeping secrets from each other. It really hit home with me, I can absolutely swear there is nothing significant or important I would ever lie about to my fiance because I think the truth would hurt/upset her. we both tell occasional white lies e.g. "I didn't pick the phone up because I was juggling two cups of coffee" rather than "I was in the toilet", but only ever on that level.
so anyway I knew my interest in wearing a diaper was something that I hadn't lied to her about it had just never come up. We have a wonderful sex life, she had very little experience before we were together I only had marginally more so we've grown to love what each other like.
I'm quite open minded about sex, I'm happy to talk about it, discuss it and am aware of the very large variety of different fetish communities, only because I was interested in what excited me, if there was something I hadn't found yet. She is not so much, which is fine. We discuss what we do and it all works out fine.
For my job I have to Travel a lot, this gives me a lot of time on my own coupled with long car journeys and flights. It is these times where I tend to indulge my wearing of diapers, My interest is purely in physical sensation, soft warm and comfortable. I'm not into regression or the AB side.
So last night after this episode I mentioned that I also believed in not having secrets from each other (to be honest It sucked that I felt like I was sneaking around to hide diapers) she was very instantly defensive and like normal was a bit emotional (it seems to be a safety state, if she is tearful she won't be distressed or hurt). Knowing her well I had to continue and mentioned that there was something I thought she knew (due to poor computer history maintenance) about but wasn't sure. she asked if it was something that went on in the past or still goes on, so I said it still happened but never in the house only whilst I was on my own. This was hard to accept for her, and I couldn't talk to her objectively about my interest, the word diaper was never mentioned it was just "the thing you know i'm interested in" ( I did later confirm we were talking about the same thing)
To end the evening we spent some time apart and she wrote me a letter, clearly stating she loved me and was only writing as she finds it hard to talk, she said that part of her wants to know what goes on without her and part of her doesn't. but she doesn't want me to resent her in the future for not being involved, her big concern is she does not want to be frightened to look around our own home in case she finds something that is (well for want of a better word kinky) that isn't ours and she's worried that even though I say it won't affect her that it will.
I did tell her that I don't keep anything in the house as I always want her to feel safe in our house and she always will be. I also told her that my "ideal" solution was if she could be objective and say "I understand that there is something that excites you and not me but perhaps it will be in the future" secondly "I understand that there is something that excites you and not me and I don't want a part of it but what you do on your own is fine" or "I don't really understand but it worries me and I don't want it to be part of our life or come between us"
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I'm really sorry but this was difficult and took a long time to write, I haven't finished yet but i need to go out (i didn't know if the post would be saved if i left the page so i just posted the first half) I will try to post the rest this evening.