Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: girlfriend wants no part of it

  1. #1

    Default girlfriend wants no part of it

    I have been open with my girlfriend over the past few weeks about my adult baby side. Sad part is Sarah wants no part of it. I haven't told t her specifics about diapers and stuff like that but I have expressed wanting to be hugged a bit more and things like that every now and again. she seemed to really understand that part because after all the stress and the times that I've had to save her from suicide attempts, I think she understands the amount of stress I'm under although but shes not too big on physical contact due to some sexual abuse that happened as a kid, she seems to think this can be erased with medication and therapy. She already sees a therapist for her mental issues and seems to think that this is dumbing me down that I'm no longer smart. she thinks I should be able to overpower this without help.

    not that it's essential but finding a person that is at least willing to understand my AB side and letting me indulge in it with her every now and again would be nice.

    is there any other way I can go about this?

    feel free to move thread I was originally going to bring up lot more specifics.
    Last edited by goodnightmoon92; 27-Mar-2013 at 16:08. Reason: rewording

  2. #2


    Dear goodnightmoon92,

    I am inclined to suggest that you don't ask Sarah to take on any more at this time. One problem that I see potentially coming the methods she seems to be going with, may be in conflict with what you feel that you need.
    For you to perhaps insist that medication, and therapy are not at all what you need(however you see it); maybe interpreted by her to mean that what she is doing with meds and therapy might seem pointless.

    When she says that you need to, or should be able to erase this part of you (meds & therapy)...then goes on to suggest that you should just be able to overpower this without help...and that you're 'dumbing down' says to me the she is in conflict (perhaps a desperate struggle) with the conventions of her own process. It would appear that she is seeing this more as an illness, or weakness...which becomes especially problematic when she may be depending on you to be strong...and possibly her reason to seek help for herself. There is potential for a codependency here...

    You seem to be fairly well adjusted to the AB/DL yourself...which if so, might conclude further conflict...because you aren't seeking help for it...instead you are seeking her acceptance/approval??

    You could give it more time without saying anything more AB/DL to her...see what happens. I think that she probably needs a lot more time with her own 'conditions' before taking on yours...??

    You are in a tight-spot, so it would appear...

    ...and now that you've added more detail...I'm afraid that this may take much more time for Sarah to work through her own issues...I would implore you to research some of the sexual abuse issues...I don't mean to be could work out between you any rate, I don't see how she can be ready now to accommodate your needs at this time...

    And now that I have written this...

    ...I think that you have bigger, more pressing issues to contend with...
    Last edited by Marka; 27-Mar-2013 at 17:47.

  3. #3


    If she doesn't want to take part, she doesn't have to. I don't understand why that would make her want to hug you less, you don't sound like you're forcing anything on her. She seems ignorant about it, though. Obviously, meds and therapy are unnecessary with this sort of thing. Unless it's ALL you do EVERY day. Oh yeah, that's a therapy case in that sense.

    My advice is you have a good hard palaver about this if it's bothering you. Good luck to you.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post
    not that it's essential but finding a person that is at least willing to understand my AB side and letting me indulge in it with her every now and again would be nice.

    is there any other way I can go about this?

    feel free to move thread I was originally going to bring up lot more specifics.
    Hi, goodnightmoon92. First off, I want to thank you for being honest about your personal life and your expectations.

    While I don't know you or Sarah personally, I do know about another couple. The guy is a friend.

    My friend, let's call him Josh, has an AB lifestyle that is completely rejected by his girlfriend. Why? She fell victim to sexual abuse as one of many children a convicted con assaulted over a decade ago. And yes, the convict used baby items in his criminal acts.

    The thing is, I've been told by Josh that no matter what therapy the girl goes through, the memories and trauma will never cease to interfere with life, and likely will produce unhealthy and negative aspects in a relationship with an AB.

    I try to avoid bringing bad news to people, but your best bet to stop bankrupting your mind emotionally is to move on.

    Like you said, it's important to find a woman who can accommodate you with a sense of confidence and comfort, not denial and rejection.

    On the other hand, it's also unfair to demand she help you with your AB lifestyle and cross her boundries made to protect her mind out of past trauma and terror.

    So, for the best health of everyone, keep looking friend.

    I myself have been with a girl this last year who was abused sexually, and we drifted apart because she did not want anything sexual in her life again.

    She could talk for hours about her abusive and alcoholic father abandoning her family, and the subsequent sexual abuse she suffered, but could not bring herself to be realistic and heal inside since her mother offered nothing but criticism and blame for her.

    Move on, brother. It's the best option for everyone now.

  5. #5


    I have to agree with Marka and professorbock. It sounds like your girlfriend has more on her plate than she can handle. She's made it clear she doesn't like your association to baby things/diapers. I think the most you can hope for is "doing your thing" on your own, and probably when she's not around. I don't see it ever getting any better than that. You have to ask yourself, can you live with that throughout your relationship?

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 22-Oct-2011, 16:05
  2. Part 8 yr old, part grownup?
    By Kara in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 87
    Last Post: 20-Jul-2011, 20:56
  3. How do you separate your baby part from the adult part?
    By daddyslilprincess in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 06-Dec-2010, 23:58
  4. Was going to tell girlfriend, but...
    By dillan221 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 01-Apr-2009, 16:48

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.