I have a question regarding some troubling interactions I've been having with my non-age playing friends. I have always felt as though my little self were my true self, and that it's when I act like a grown-up that I'm just pretending, and I'm not even very good at it. Because of this I have many child-like (or, unfortunately, childish) tendencies even in my adult life. Because of this coupled with my extremely small size, people notice, and tend to treat me accordingly, so I am often protected and/or treated like a child by my friends without their knowing how deep that runs (they just assume I'm an immature grown-up.) Especially since the majority of my friends are from India, that culture puts far less emphasis on independence, so it's very easy for someone who is slightly older or just more responsible to keep someone like me under their wing.
With me lies the problem... normally I'd consider this an awesome opportunity to get to feel like my real self even when I'm not engaged in age play, and I'd just accept the treatment as a blessing. But once someone starts treating me like that, I completely lose control, and start acting more and more babyish, putting pressure on my friends to be responsible for me, and maybe even making them feel weird, like they can't connect with me on a grown-up level. I have definitely lost some good friends to this poor behavior, people who cared about me but became confused and frustrated.
My question is this: how do I make myself stop before I push people away from me? How can I control the baby inside who just wants nothing more than to tuck her head under her best friends chin and be rocked to sleep or have her booboos kissed? I know if my friends never treated me like a kid in the first place I wouldn't have such a hard time staying grown up around them, but the problem is once they start it just feels so good, so natural, so "right" that I never want it to end, and any time they stop treating me like a kid I feel a sense of abandonment!