Some back story: Last year, I had the pleasure of discovering that my SO is into bondage. I am, too, so this was great news. At the time, she already knew that I was an ABDL; she isn't one, but she's very affirming. Since then, we've been exploring our kinks together.
Up until now, it's almost exclusively involved bondage, since that's our common denominator and I don't want to rush her. But now the question is starting to arise whether she'll ever participate in diaper play with me. I guess I was hoping that because she also has kinks, she'd know what it's like to face that possibility of never finding something to connect with and play with, that maybe she'd be more willing to participate because she could understand where I'm coming from.
Her issue is that it's not reciprocal--this is something that would satisfy me only and not her--and she doesn't want to do anything that isn't reciprocal. Yet, I feel that even if it's not reciprocal, that doesn't mean you can't take joy in making someone else happy. Even if I didn't like bondage, I think I'd still enjoy tying her up or letting her tie me up if it made her happy. I might not like it every day, but I'd be happy to indulge her some of the time, in large part because I'd know what it's like to have a kink. Ultimately, I don't want anything of her that she can't give freely out of grace, and I don't want to do anything that would make one of us feel uncomfortable or used.
How do you all feel about this? Does a kinky play have to be reciprocal? Would it feel less satisfying if your partner didn't reciprocate your love of diapers? Would you be disinclined to indulge a partner in their own, non-ABDL kinks if you didn't share in those kinks?