View Poll Results: Do we need more respect and tact in our world?

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  • Yes!

    23 74.19%
  • No.

    5 16.13%
  • Not sure. Or other. (Please explain

    3 9.68%
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Thread: Do you think our world is lacking respect and tact?

  1. #1

    Question Do you think our world is lacking respect and tact?

    Hi,

    I could not find a discussion on this topic that is a bit important to me - so here goes!

    One example right away to illustrate what I mean:
    Back in my school days, our school had a tiny shop where one could buy candy and such and sometimes selected foods such as french fries. It was quite popular, especially during break times.
    When I was in fifth grade (lowest at that school), I had a lot of respect towards the elder kids (up to 13ths grade, highest at that school - this would be senior year in college for you US people). Which meant we would queue up, not silently and without moving, but we kept in line. It worked really well.
    Fast-forward some years and I was in my last year as well. But do you reckon those small kids from fifth grade would stay in line? Not quite. As a minimum, they would push you aside to get in front of anyone else. Insults weren't rare either, even harsh ones such as "fuck you, you cunt, get out of my way!" (roughly translated) could be heard every now and then.

    It is just one example. I notice that I'm living in a world where people often don't know respect and tact any longer. This is particular the case with the younger kind of course, but not limited to. And it is not only that people care less for their neighbours and strangers (to lend a helping hand for example), they often outright care for nothing but themselves or their own interests.

    I find that very sad! It also makes me die a little inside when I see old people treating strangers with respect and tact and they in return get offensive comments, or get looked at with surprise or disbelief.

    And that is not even including the fact that I've been shouted at for holding a door for a woman I did not know.
    Even common courtesy...I was very shocked!

    I think by now you get what I mean..


    A lot has been changing in our culture and society. I welcome much of it, but if this is the price I think it is too high. I find it hard sometimes to cope with being in public, leaving me wanting to stay away from the big crowds more and more.

    Do you agree? Or do you think I've got this all wrong?
    I'd love to hear your opinions and thoughts!

  2. #2

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    Oh God yes! I work and teach at an inner city junior high school, one which is also an applicant school. I see so many kids who have no social skills, and so respect isn't in their vocabulary. This of course, starts at home. There just are too many families where parents don't do their job. In our case, there often is only one parent, sometimes an aunt or a grandmother. We have parents in jail, fathers who've abdicated their responsibilities as fathers, and the list goes on.

    Our society is complex, and the job market geared to the highly skilled and educated. We are losing so many in this younger generation. Success must start at home, but if home is chaotic, what chance do they have? I worry for my kids, and care for them. I try to help them as much as possible, but it's a losing battle.

    There are kids who are wonderful, and do respect others, but they seem to be in small numbers. We need to find ways to change this. I'm open to ideas!

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Oh God yes! I work and teach at an inner city junior high school, one which is also an applicant school. I see so many kids who have no social skills, and so respect isn't in their vocabulary. This of course, starts at home. There just are too many families where parents don't do their job. In our case, there often is only one parent, sometimes an aunt or a grandmother. We have parents in jail, fathers who've abdicated their responsibilities as fathers, and the list goes on.

    Our society is complex, and the job market geared to the highly skilled and educated. We are losing so many in this younger generation. Success must start at home, but if home is chaotic, what chance do they have? I worry for my kids, and care for them. I try to help them as much as possible, but it's a losing battle.

    There are kids who are wonderful, and do respect others, but they seem to be in small numbers. We need to find ways to change this. I'm open to ideas!
    You've nailed part of it: so many kids don't see respect and kindness modeled, so the have no idea how to act this way. More importantly, they doing see why it's important. All the celebrities act however they want, and all the "cool" people they see aren't respectful, so why should they be?

    I think kids and teens need to see that the way they conduct themselves does have consequences, for good and for bad. School is one important place. When they start working, they'll see it even more. It should start at home, but so many kids come from bad situations. This is where education workers play such a huge role. We have to show how a person should act and show that choosing not to has consequences. It's a painful task sometimes, I know...

  4. #4

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    I wouldn't respond with a resounding "yes!" but I see where you are coming from.

    I have a theory about technology, particularly the advent of smart phones, and how it plays into social interaction. I see smart phones as a very immediate way to avoid social interaction. I particularly noticed this during my college's orientation. Because no one knew anyone else, it was, for a time, socially acceptable to sit down with a stranger and start talking to them. What happens, though, is that if there is a stumbling block or awkward silence in the conversation... one person can just pull out their cell phone and they can enter another world. They can appear busy and shirk all responsibility for the conversation.

    I might be particularly bothered by this because I don't have a smart phone and I am somewhat introverted. I'd been looking forward to the opportunity to begin with a clean slate - but a smart phone can be inserted into any uncomfortable social moment. I don't know, this is just something that has bothered me recently. I'm sure when I get a smart phone someday I will join the horde.

    Part of my hesitation in this topic is that I find it hard to latch onto anything that idealizes the past too much - because there have been rude people for a long time. You mentioned old people, which made me think of my grandmother... let's just say I won't get into my list of complaints about her rudeness here.

  5. #5

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    Well, thanks for the input so far!

    Glad to see I'm not alone.

    I think you all have valid explanations - my own belief is that this is a very complex problem with many origins. Thus even harder to "fix" of course.
    I think a core problem is that people stopped sharing their values and beliefs to their kids, or that the kids did not accept them. In some places, like Germany, I can see some partial explanation in WWII - meaning that the people born after WWII wanted to separate themselves, go completely new ways, not be affiliated with this dark history in any way. But this does only apply to few countries. So the problems are many.

    NeverKnow, I get your point too. People need to learn how to use their smartphone. Many did, most of my family or friends for example never use their smartphone if we're eating together. Rude people will always exist, they just change they way they are rude I suppose.

    Personally I am hoping that much of this has to do with the internet. That our society is struggling to adapt to it, learning how to properly use it. I hope, eventually people will have gotten used to the internet and start acting more responsibly. For example, when Email came up I noticed almost nobody wrote plain mail by hand anymore, unless they had to. Nowadays, I know quite a few that do, every now and then. Some people have remembered the nice effect a handwritten letter can have on people, given it is written in a way that one can actually decipher the text And while these are few, they are slowly growing in numbers, I'd like to think.

    So my hope is, this will happen with all other things too. That we will learn what to use certain tech for and then maybe use the time we won back to do stuff like meeting friends, or writing a hand-written letter to a good friend.


    P.S.: it probably won't come as a surprise to you if I mention that "Faith in humanity restored" memes are my favourite :P

    P.P.S.: I find peace in the knowledge that our globalization has a big advantage - it is now easier than ever to find like-minded people and gather up to live in a nice community, as more and more people view the world as their home and not just where they were born. If all goes down the drain - a plan z so to speak..

  6. #6

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    I generally agree that there seems to be a growing lack of social grace, in the real world, and that technology does tend to create social isolates in the real world, and that can present as rudeness. However, with growing understanding and acceptance of difference in the world, I feel that there is perhaps a greater authentic type of respect than say the artificial superficial politeness that has been prevalent in past societies. Apologies to all the wonderful people there are in the world. But I have known so many bigots who purport to be polite and upstanding people , you know it's easy to pretend to be respectful in polite society but be horrible about so many things behind closed doors.

    I really do think that while chivalrous behaviour my be diminishing, genuine respect or acceptance may be growing.

    OK so would I like to see an increase in love towards each other. Hell yeah!

  7. #7

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    I think the world is increasing in politeness respect and tact albeit not at the rate we would like. I think its going well muggings and hangings are at a record low since the middle ages and i haven't seen a single gibbeting in ages.
    The world is a harsh place and always will be, im just glad i have some time to reflect upon things while nicely diapered and don't have to spend 18 hours a day dragging a plough round a field with blistered hands.

  8. #8

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    I think all of you can go to hell.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hold your negrep. I'm not serious.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Or am I?

    - - - Updated - - -

    >;D

  9. #9

    Default

    I agree with this to the highest degree. I personally believe that the generations that is following behind ours is honestly one of the most disrespectful and overall mean-spirited generations since well...the last one.

    I'll give you an explanation behind where I'm coming from here. At one point when I was walking to the local EB Games store nearby the McDonalds where I work, I accidentally ran into a group of kids that were at least around 11 or 12. And the first thing I said to them was "Sorry.", what did they say to me? "You should be sorry dickhead!" that just made me wonder what today's parents are teaching their kids on the state of manners or if they're teaching their kids any kind of manners for that matter. And really, when I see parents letting their 11 year old kids buy games like Call of Duty without a second thought, it makes me think that both parties need a lesson in common sense.

    That's not to say the kids these days aren't lacking on their manners, hardly. I was at a convention last year and I was just trying to decide whether or not I should buy a DVD or not and the guy next to me (who looked to be no more than at least one or two years my senior) told me to "Either buy something or move along!", I replied as nice as I could saying "Can I just have one moment, I'm almost done." and after putting on a smile and being nice and everything, he had the gall to say to me; "Well, guess what, other people like me want to buy stuff. And we don't have all day! So move!" No less than 30 seconds later, I had bought my stuff and left. No t seeing the problem of it all.

    So, really, I've had problems with the next generation of people on this earth and my own generation in terms of manners and respect, so I personally think that we need more respect in this world right now, we REALLY need more of it.

  10. #10

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    Some good points about technology. It has become a parent for a lot of kids. And the good ol' Internet isn't exactly a reservoir of tact, either. The bigger problem is that computers, etc are being used as a substitute form real interaction between kids and parents. We learn our deepest beliefs, typically, from those who raise us. Now we have kids who barely talk to their parents -they're too busy, and the devices are good babysitters. I see kids every day with shocking manners...and then you realize that parents aren't really in the picture.

    The lack of respect may be just a symptom of deeper problems kids are facing these days.

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