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Thread: Necessary telling of flatmates, advice please?

  1. #1

    Default Necessary telling of flatmates, advice please?

    Im really sorry if theres a thread like this one before, but i need some slightly specific advice and opinions.

    After living alone, ive moved in with friends and as stress builds up during semester, im bound to wet the bed.

    One flatmate is trustworthy, open minded and a true friend, so ive decided to tell her, only the need part (not the liking). Shes already aware that my room is sacred and forbidden, and that i have something i hide alot. im not telling the other, as i think just having one know will afford me the privacy i need and quick escapes when necessary.

    Hence! is it okay if i just invite her in one night and see if she notices my padded bum? or do i need to say it during the day and discuss it? not so keen on discussing it.....
    but i am lucky enough to know she'll be supportinve and understanding. i just dont know how to do it.

  2. #2

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    We understand, specific advice is important.

    I really do recommend talking about it, not just inviting her in and shoving it in her face.. that would likely make the situation more awkward and to be honest it would sort of make me feel a little weird out if I was in her shoes.. even though I know it's completely okay and do it myself! It would put her in a awkward situation because there is a bit of sexuality in my opinion to that sort of situation.. that's the way it feels to me. I feel like your much more likely to get her understand if you act mature and sit down and explain that you just have to use them and stuff and that you want to tell her just because you want to avoid any awkward situations.. which I think the walking in with you wearing is one of them.

    I really hope I didn't sound harsh, I just don't think the "invite her in with her diaper on display" idea is a very good one. I'm most certainly not saying your are stupid or the idea is stupid... I just don't agree with it.

    Anyway, I hope that my advice helped you at all and I really hope it goes well.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Necessary telling of flatmates, advice please?

    Firstly, I want to point out that as long as your wearing baggy pants / shorts, they won't be visibly noticable unless your shirt comes up (if you bend over or reach for something) and the top of the diaper is revealed. This is why I suggest wearing underwear over the diapers if you know or think you might talk/see someone. That's my general rule and my flatmates haven't noticed (although 2 know because I told them when I was drunk once last year). The smell and disposal is the harder point.

    If you already told that one flat mate and she responded well, as in not badly, then you may want to sit down and talk to her. Don't just ask her if it's noticeable one time while you're wearing. In private, ask her if she's comfortable giving you advice how to handle the situation without the other flatmate finding out. Mention how you trust her and that you also don't want your wearing to inconvenience her or make her feel uncomfortable so that the advice would be helpful. If she agrees (which I'm pretty sure she would if she didn't response badly before and you explain it like I just said) then you can ask her later while you're wearing before bed if it's noticeable. As long as you stress that you trust her and just want the living arrangements to go smoothly and don't want your "problem" to hinder that, then I think it will all go well.

    Good luck buddy!

  4. #4

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    Thanks for the tips! I ended up telling her as we were tucked into my bed one night, but wasn't wearing. She guessed it, I didn't have to say it, and was completely not bothered and amazing. Since then ive been able to pop ou of bed late at night for a cuppa and not stress, and we've become much closer so glad I told her !!

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by beeeblebum View Post
    Thanks for the tips! I ended up telling her as we were tucked into my bed one night
    Please tell us you were holding hands, wearing footed-sleepers, snuggling stuffies and are both utterly adorable.

    I'm jealous now.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    Please tell us you were holding hands, wearing footed-sleepers, snuggling stuffies and are both utterly adorable.

    I'm jealous now.

    Don't be too jealous, I don't intend to tell her that I like them, but I'm very lucky to have found such a good friend! Several nights later she did come in when I was ready for bed and tell me I looked like an oversized toddler before giving me a cuddle she meant it nicely and I feel so much better for having told her.

  7. #7
    Astra

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by beeeblebum View Post
    Don't be too jealous, I don't intend to tell her that I like them, but I'm very lucky to have found such a good friend! Several nights later she did come in when I was ready for bed and tell me I looked like an oversized toddler before giving me a cuddle she meant it nicely and I feel so much better for having told her.
    It's great that you and your friend have grown closer, that sounds like the best possible outcome. I think you chose a good time to talk about it, too. If you're both ready to go to bed, it's a natural segue into talking about something like that. Hopefully it will be less stressful for you now that she knows and you don't have to keep it a secret.

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