So, it's not a poll because I figure we'll get a lot of different answers that are in between choices... but the general question is 'How big of a part does (or will) ABDL play on you choosing a significant other when dating?'.
It's something I got to thinking about in the chat, and while reading a lot of the 'telling my girlfriend' threads. Will you let your fetish/lifestyle dictate how you choose a date or mate?
I definitely had the need to be open with my desire for the ABDL scene- both in the bond between us, and in the bedroom. In relationships where they never knew, I'd try using cues with stuffed animals, the 'baby' pet name, ect... and I could always tell I was just treading around what I really wanted (to be a caretaker/DL).
I had minimal success with vanilla relationships. They'd come and go (even with two asking me if I was 'one of those freaks' after calling them baby excessively :p) and usually had me wondering in the end what it'd be like if they had any AB/LG urges. I tried, and tried to ignore the underlying desires that would come out- and made strides to accept people for things outside the scene, but I think I knew it was too big of a secret to keep from someone I was supposed to share my life with.
So I've done it. I've been in a committed relationship for a few years with an ABDL (mostly AB). It started long-distance. Took a huge toll on the rest of my life, as long-distance is known to do. We made sure while courting that we had a lot of outside interests in common. We made long trips to see each other over and over, and I finally moved my life out to be with her.
I had a little reflection the other day, though. Thought about how lucky I was to have someone to share my desires (as well as interests outside diapers), thankful to have someone to indulge in her AB fantasies, and someone that I'll never have to feel ashamed of my desires. I never wanted a convert, either. I truly believe that you can convert someone to be involved- but a true love is needed. I was too worried to entrust something like that and be shot down. I was also worried that they'd always view my fetish as a burden- and just 'play along' to make me happy. I wanted someone who loved their role in ABDL as much as I did.
So, even though I provided my side of it- are there bigger issues to the rest of you when searching for significant others? Do you just want to find someone right and convert them? Do you want it to be private forever? Or, do you want someone involved in the scene?