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Thread: A really tough question.

  1. #1

    Default A really tough question.

    Hey guys this is kind of a first post for me so forgive me if it is in odd format. I'm looking for advice on a good absorbent diaper for day time use that is extremely absorbent (as I am an extremely heavy wetter and am prone to floods with a current medical condition) but is kind of thin that i can wear to work. My current field of work requires tan khaki pants which prevents me from wearing anything real baggy as most khakis are kinda snug. I need a good diaper to wear to work that doesnt make my mid section look like a marshmallow.

    Night time I'm not worried because i have the awesome Abena m4 that I love filling over capacity at night (i have a good reusable bed pad with a plastic sheet under me so laundry aint a pain). Yeah i know that sounds odd that i love overflowing my diaper at night. To me it just feels good. I always clean myself up very good in the morning though to prevent skin problems though. Anyway any suggestions would be great!

  2. #2

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    If the Abena M4s work well at night, you could try the M3 (or M2) during the day... Still very absorbant, but the padding isn't as thick and doesn't extend so far to the sides at the front (making it easier to walk without waddling!).

    You could try using an Abena bodystocking (or similar kind of onesie) to hold the diaper in place so it doesn't sag. The extra compression should make it slightly more discreet too...

    Dunno if that helps at all...

  3. #3

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    I agree with tiny I've worn a M3 in public before and it didn't seem to cause any attractions.

  4. #4

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    clubssc,

    well maybe get your pants a size larger? (maybe have to go and shorten the legs a tad - but that's easy enough).

    About the diapers:
    try the Attends M9 or M10 regular... not the "regular plus" or "special care" - those are a bit bulky.
    the M9 or M10 (M10 are what I need as a night time diaper for my bedwetting...)

    Now the other thing is this: I don't know what your condition (medical) is (insight might help)... but here's the thing: your body can only produce so much urine over some time. sure, with the lack of a few hormons / or too little of them, your urine production can be heightened ... but still same principal.

    - Keep hydrated, but no more than about 2dl within the hour or so... your body can't make use of more anyhow (it just gets "flushed" = more urine).
    - stay the hell away from coffee, caffeinated stuff, sodas, alcohol... those will make you pee a LOT more
    - watch your diet (some foods have a lot of impact on how much you pee).
    - get a schedule: go to the toilet every 1.5 hours or something like that... make that regular... (of course that implies that you can pee when you want to / control... if you can't maybe ISC is something to consider.)
    - ...

    I'm a bedwetter with about 5-7 wet nights a week and have a moderate form of day time Incontinence... I manage with pads mostly, sometimes pull ups or if I have a prolonged trip ahead, limited bathroom access, etc. I wear an Attends M8 (the thinnest) diaper during the day too.
    My incontinence is mostly "constant" dribbling with little / moderate loss, and sometimes "urges" and rarely full loads if I can't get to the toilet in time.
    But with watching my liquid intake, changing my pads / diapers regularly (not wet them to the brink) I can get away easily (with none to very very few "accidents" (outside the pad / diaper) during the day, and NO ONE is any wiser (read: no one has ever really noticed that I'm incontinent).

    Again, choose your pants with a bit care: a size too large makes a LOT of difference in terms of being able to conceal a diaper.

    Last but not least: if your need for diapers is a result of a medical condition... it is a form of "disability"... your employer would be wise to let you choose a different type of pants... not harass you in any way about this....

  5. #5

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    Well the nature of my incontinence is currently under investigation by my doctor and see the state I live in is at will employment.....sooooo they can let me wear other pants for that but they will more than likely just fabricate another reason to fire me as they have done to many old co-workers.

    This does indeed help folks thank you. Will a thin diaper with a booster be a viable option also for this? I've done a bit of research into these boosters but have yet to try them.

  6. #6

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    The capacity you need depends on if you can change promptly when needed. A flood while SITTING in anything lighter than an M4 is probably risking a leak. But for anything else an M3 would probably work just fine for you as long as you could stand up and get moving to the bathroom when necessary. Odor control will become an issue if you can't change during the day, even if you're not going much.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by clubssc View Post
    Well the nature of my incontinence is currently under investigation by my doctor and see the state I live in is at will employment.....sooooo they can let me wear other pants for that but they will more than likely just fabricate another reason to fire me as they have done to many old co-workers.

    This does indeed help folks thank you. Will a thin diaper with a booster be a viable option also for this? I've done a bit of research into these boosters but have yet to try them.
    sorry to hear about the crappy job situation... none the less... you've got rights... and wishing for a pair of pants a size larger, is certainly not a problem,...

    About boosters... I personally find them to be troublesome on their own, depending on the diaper... the boster can cause more leaks as it actually prevents the leak-guards from fully functioning with most diapers... also the booster adds bulk again... so you can just as well go with a thicker diaper from start.

    in the end, as bad as it sounds you need to "experiment"... everyone is a bit different in this regard... what works for one, might not work for the next person when it comes to how to deal with incontinence.

    But again, try what I said about drinking, toileting routine etc... this is working with most cases (there are of course exceptions)... but this is one way to be able to AVOID having to wear ultra thick protection.

    I lived my entire life with this on different "levels"... with the methods mentioned, I'm able to live a normal life, without anyone knowing (well a few do, but that was my choice).

    Also an AB/DL Board is most often not the best place to get tips on how to deal with real incontinence in real life.
    most people here love thick diapers, some choose to wear those 24/7... but it's choice.
    dealing with incontinence and wanting to keep it as private as possible is a notion some here don't get.
    Outside of the AB/DL circles, most incontinent people (read IC Forums) frown upon diapers in general... it's often regarded (sometimes wrongly though) to be some sort of last resort, a defeat.

    Also there's a few other options: EXTERNAL CONDOM "catheters" (it's not a cath in the strictest sense - no tube's going inside your body)... works quite well if you can get used to wear the condom-thing, tube and drain-bag.
    if you find one that is comfy for you, and get a good leg-holster, and quality bags... it can take care of most serious accidents... can be emptied on the toilet (drain-valve) and thus can be worn all day long, without anyone noticing... as long as the full bag gets emtpied before it's fully loaded.
    see an urologist about recommending a fitting model for yourself (there are many types of those out there).
    you can "normal" pee on a toilet (well you pee in the bag, but empty it straight away). so it doesn't impede going to the toilet (for example for No.2) like a diaper would. you don't need to bring "change" along etc.

    there's other options too.
    there's half a ship full of different medications - but that requires a good diagnosis first hand. but beware many of the meds have side effects... some quite severe.


    Well dealing with incontinence in a day-to-day life can take some getting used to, trust me... it's certainly a challenge at times.
    and you will need some willingness and readiness to go to some lengths to try a few things, to risk a few things and to experiment to find whatever solution works in your case.

    The drinking stuff works... I'm sure, with some "management" you can reduce the rate / amount / urgency of your incontinence / involuntary urine loss to a manageable degree... to a way were a discrete product actually works (as it does with most people who're incontinent).
    it's most often DL or AB ICs who think that a thick diaper is the only working solution.
    But you know, why you VERY RARLY see anyone of these millions of incontinent people out there? why you don't notice that they are incontinent? because they have learned to handle the issue discretely. so the products out there like pads and pull ups... products that in the AB/DL world most people just "bitch about" and think them worthless, not working, etc... they actually do work.

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