I am really struggling here. I have stopped wearing for a few months ever since I moved into my new apartment, but recently got the urges again. I don't want to wear, I honestly don't enjoy it. I hype it up in my mind and then when I actually wear and use the diapers I hate it. It's a combination of shame and disgust. I don't know how to either completely stop using or stop feeling this way when I do. Does this make any sense to anyone else?