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Thread: Letting this out

  1. #1

    Default Letting this out

    i wanna let this out i have have had this bottled in my for 14 years of my life my mom dated a guy for 14 years and he treated me really bad he put fear in me. And he was yelling at me alot not the type of yelling when someone says take out the trash the kind of yelling that puts people down he passed away in 2011 and i fill like its been 3 years and here i am still scared by it i mean that man put some much fear in my that i have a hard time feeling safe around adults that are older then me meaning like into the 30s and advice?

  2. #2
    bigbabyderek2012

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    I know how you feel my mom and dad both seperated before i can remember but they both eventually got remarried. my step dad used to hurt me and my brother when we were little but my dad has a temper where he throws stuff but now all my step mom and my dad do is yell at each other and it is kind of scary i try to stay away from both sides but now i distance myself from older people and surround myself with people my age.

  3. #3

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    its just that after 3 years now i thought i would not still be feeling this way

  4. #4
    bigbabyderek2012

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    it so happens that when he yelled at you or put the fear in you so to speak, you were traumatized by him putting you down by his yelling. They say time heals all wounds but i think you will get over it in time if you have someone you can talk to like a therapist or conselor

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    zackipooh1992 - I'm sorry to hear that you were treated badly in the past, and that you're still feeling the effects from that now.

    You say that after three years you would expect to feel differently, but these things can take a long time to heal. But, given time, things will get better. You will learn to trust older adults more. Nobody can tell you how soon that will happen - but with the right support, you'll get there. You will heal.

    But sometimes we need help to work through our emotions, the same as sometimes we need a doctor's help to heal a physical wound. Have you considered counselling? It's not an easy decision to make, but if you do decide to, you wouldn't have to discuss anything that you weren't comfortable with. I can't promise that it'll be an easy fix, or even that it'll be quick - but it helps a lot of people deal with issues that affect the way they feel. Just talking throughout problems face to face can often help you to understand the issues more clearly, and can help you get closure on an issue like the one you've described.

    There are lots of guides about finding a counsellor on the net, with info about finding the right kind of help and where to find it. A quick google search should help you find appropriate resources in your area.

    I hope that you feel better soon.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by zackiepooh1992 View Post
    i wanna let this out i have have had this bottled in my for 14 years of my life my mom dated a guy for 14 years and he treated me really bad he put fear in me. And he was yelling at me alot not the type of yelling when someone says take out the trash the kind of yelling that puts people down he passed away in 2011 and i fill like its been 3 years and here i am still scared by it i mean that man put some much fear in my that i have a hard time feeling safe around adults that are older then me meaning like into the 30s and advice?
    I know a great deal of what you're experiencing - in my case the guy my mom married didn't pass away but he got found out for the person he is just the same. Because of how this guy operated I have to second-guess when people show me unwarranted gratuity. Admittedly he did have some redeeming qualities, and taught me a few things about how to get by in this world, though he chose to use his gifts for his own gain. If the male role model in your life had anything good to teach you that you can remember at all, maybe you can focus on those. In NO way does it excuse the way he mistreated you but it might help you with being able to forgive (which is for YOU, not them). If you're not ready for that yet, just remember that there are people here over the age of 30 that aren't out to tear you down or take advantage of you, and understand you. I wish you peace and healing

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