First and foremost hello to each and every one of you. I have been a long time lurker of this site and have finally decided to make the plunge and try and be more accepting of this part of myself. I am very grateful that resources like this and others exist so that we have the comfort of knowing we are not alone in our quirks.
So a bit about me, I am a seasoned professional in the hospitality industry and love what I do for a living. My career path puts me very much in the public eye and that being the case the thought of my secrets getting out makes me very protective over this portion of my life. I love college football, and fall is my favorite time of year due to that fact. I also love going to the movies (ecspecially diapered) boating, country music, frisbee golf and theme parks. I am engaged to a wonderful woman, who knows about my AB/DL side but struggles to understand it and how to deal with it.
I have had an attraction to diapers for honestly as long as I can remember. My honest first memory is being put back in them for bedwetting at around age 4 or 5 and the humiliation yet excitement that the experience created. Growing up I would dream about being put back into diapers and humiliated, but never told anyone because quite frankly I thought I was weird. Around age 10 I started to sneak diapers from my grandparents house when I was there because they had a huge amount in all sizes for their various grandchildren. Just putting the diaper between my legs within my underwear felt amazing and safe even though it didnt fit. Somewhere in my mid teens once the internet was starting to be developed I realized I wasnt alone in my feelings for diapers and it was one of the single greatest moments of my life. Once I left for college I was free to explore this portion of myself a bit more and was able to wear diapers that actually fit me. I have only shared this side of me with 4 ppl, and of those four its varied greatly on the acceptance level i have recieved.
As far as my taste go, I honestly am not sure exactly what I am, and I hope to learn more about myself here on these forums over time. I have multiple interests, but nothing too extreme on one side or the other. I am definitely a diaper lover, but diapers do multiple things for me. I have an extremelly stressful job and they serve as my main form of stress relief. When wearing I can let a lot of my troubles go and just relax. I sleep better when diapered and I am just an all around more balanced person when I have one on. I know that sounds wierd but its true. At the same time they can also be very sexual for me, everything is more sensitive when I am wearing and I love being touched/rubbed/spanked through my diapers.
Besides those likes though I also love my pacifier, when diapered I just like having it as well and I like to sleep with it also. I also love plastic pants, onsies and footed pj's so I guess in some ways that makes me an AB. I would much rather be diapered by someone else than putting it on myself which I think would fall into the AB category as well, but maybe I am mistaken. Finally my biggest turn on is humiliation with diapers and sissy items. I fantasize about being forced into diapers and sissy plastic panties with bows and frills. This isnt something I would do to myself though so I am not sure if that makes me a sissy or not.
Like I said before I have had a long time to come to terms with this part of me and I have gotten to a pretty good place I think. I made the decison to tell my girlfriend (now fiance) early into the relationship this time, because I have reached a point in my life that I realize that this isnt going away and I dont want to live my life hiding it. It was very hard and she is very vanilla so it completely took her by suprise. All and all she has been very accepting, but I have cut way back since she moved in order not to totally overwhelm her. What I love most is that she has not closed herself off from this portion of me even though she just cannot understand why I want or need it. Like everything else relationships are a two way street and we work as a team to support and love each other.
My hopes for joining this site are to start being less secretive with myself about my quirks and open up to more ppl. I hope to meet others who have walked this walk before and learn more about myself in the process and hopefully make some friends with similar interests. I look forward to this new journey.