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Thread: College Kid Concerns

  1. #1
    Elias

    Question College Kid Concerns

    Id sincerely appreciate your thoughts on something that's been bothering me. I know this seems long, but if you have a minute, I'd really appreciate some feedback.

    I am a college student. Im pursuing a degree in elementary (primary) education. And as Im sure youre all aware, there are often terrible stigmas tossed around about an alleged relationship between AB/DLism and pedophilia. Im positive you can all believe me in confidence when I say, I am not a pedophile!! Because chances are, you aren't either.

    Hopefully, I want to teach 4th, 5th, or 6th graders. And if everything in life goes according to plan, there should be no reason for my AB/DLism to ever be a target for public scrutiny. It is something that I can control well, and its nothing my students are EVER going to be a part of. AB/DLism is my little secret in life, and the only person I ever want to know is the person I marry. Sounds fair enough, right?

    But here is my concern, in the form of two questions.

    1) If you were a teacher, and for some reason word that you were interested in DL stuff got out, what would you do? I feel that the connections between DLism and pedophilia are inevitable from others, but unwarranted. (I mean come on, preteens arent even associated with diapers. Why would I pick this career if I was just after that kind of satisfaction?)

    And

    2) As a parent, would you have a problem sending your child to a teacher who might be an AB/DL? Forget what the general public thinks.as individual members of this online community, what do YOU think?

    Thanks for your thoughts should you share them. Ideally, this will never be a problem anyway! But I'm worried about the worst-case scenario.

    Elias

  2. #2

    Default

    If I was a teacher and the DL came out, I would say it was due to incontinence. I would probably refrain from wearing at school and school functions. As a parent, I would probably have a talk with the principal to make sure you were not a child lover, but a child at heart.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Elias View Post
    Im positive you can all believe me in confidence when I say, I am not a pedophile!! Because chances are, you aren't either.
    It doesn't really follow that since I'm not a pedophile, I can believe with confidence that you aren't a pedophile, either. Even when we have a similar fetish. I'm not accusing you of being a pedophile, but you may have too much confidence that people will take you at your word.


    The 2nd question is the only one I have an interesting answer to. I might have a problem with it, depending on the context. If I just managed to find out by my own sleuthing, and I was confident that the children wouldn't also figure it out, then I probably wouldn't have a problem. However, if it was because the teacher was being a little too public about it, I would have a problem with it. Students can find out things that the parents know, and students knowing that would undermine the teacher's authority.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Elias View Post
    And as Im sure youre all aware, there are often terrible stigmas tossed around about an alleged relationship between AB/DLism and pedophilia.
    I think this stigma gets exaggerated within the ABDL community. We imagine that lots of outsiders associate ABDLism with pedophilia. But I think that most outsiders do not associate ABDLism with pedophilia, simply because most people do not think about ABDLism at all.

    My guess would be that on hearing about ABDLs for the first time, most people would think one of the following three things: "That's disgusting," "That's hilarious," or "To each his own." Not, "I take these people's choice of clothing to be evidence that they are violent criminals."

    I'm not denying that there are some people out there who irrationally think that ABDLism has some connection with pedophilia. But I don't think this belief is as widespread as many of us think it is.

    I think it would be a terrible shame if you decided not to be a teacher because you were afraid of a private fact about you being disclosed to people with irrational prejudices. It would be wise to take precautions to prevent your ABDL-hood from becoming public knowledge. (For instance, don't wear diapers to work, and be careful about what pictures of yourself you post online.)

    In answer to your two questions: (1) My response would depend very much on what was revealed, to whom it was revealed, and how people were reacting. (2) No, I wouldn't have a problem with that.

  5. #5
    Elias

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by buridan View Post
    For instance, don't wear diapers to work, and be careful about what pictures of yourself you post online.
    I definitely agree with this. Wearing to work would be extraordinarily unprofessional, distracting, and all around a bad situation. You have a great point here.



    Quote Originally Posted by Gaston View Post
    It doesn't really follow that since I'm not a pedophile, I can believe with confidence that you aren't a pedophile, either.
    Okay, I concede that my wording may have been loose. Basically what I meant is that I would never think somebody is a pedophile BECAUSE they are a DL, and I would hope that others could treat me with the same mentality.

    More peoples opinions would be very helpful to meeeeee.

  6. #6

    Default

    I am a teacher assistant, but because I have a four year degree, I also am in solo teaching situations at my school, as well as one who administers standardized tests. I'm also AB/DL. No one at school, or any where else other than this site knows of my extra-curricular activities, and I intend to keep it that way. The two simply won't cross.

    I think that if someone did discover it, and wanted to make an issue of it, education is the best and only solution. Wikipedia has a lot of good information on infantilism, and I would direct them there. I also would inform my administration that many people have kinks and even fetishes, or practice alternate variations of the sex act. I have a right to my lifestyle and my privacy. If it still was a problem, I have a very good lawyer.

    Some people may confuse wanting to be a baby or a toddler with wanting to have sex with one, and that's why I would recommend Wikipedia for information. Obviously, the best offense is not getting on the field of play. In other words, don't do things that would make it possible for others to discover your side activities. You can be certain that other teachers are living alternative lifestyles. We have one teacher at my school who is openly gay, and has even brought her SO to school. No one really cares, and this is in central Virginia, a red state where the Tea Party is very active, and just down the street from Liberty U. and Thomas Road Baptist Church.

  7. #7

  8. #8

    Default Re: College Kid Concerns

    All I can say is if it gets exposed through no fault of your own, definitely do what the people on this site recommend and educate and say, "I keep it out of school and to myself, the joker who outed me is a dweeb." Having said that, prepare for the worst if that happens, because, ignorant as parents and taxpayers can be, they still are parents and taxpayers and unfortunately have a say as to whom may educate their children. LGBTs are protected by federal law, but not ABDLs and you can be sure that there will be those who will ignore the pedo/ABDL dissassociation, those that don't believe that we should even be allowed to be who we are at all.

    Guard your privacy and don't worry about it. If it happens then deal with it the best you can.

    I would not wear to school unless you were IC.

  9. #9

    Default

    I am personally preparing to go into a role in healthcare, where I have no doubt I'll be involved in paediatric care as well as care of other more vulnerable people. So, my concerns have a similar gravitas to yours.

    I am, in comparison with a lot of those I know (more those online than offline) rather open with my AB side. A few normal friends know, and I have many real life AB friends who both know my real name and have met my family. Also, a lot of my family know that I am an AB as well, my parents, one of my sisters and my grandfather. This has yet to become a problem and interfere with leading a normal (as much as it can be anyway) life. I think this is because I don't allow AB to control who I am. I am who I am, and the AB section of my personality is small, significant, but also under control.

    But, and it's a big but, I know enough ABs to know that being as open as I am, rarely if at all has any unforeseen ramifications. I have a friend who's a nurse, one that's a healthcare assistant, another two that are primary school teachers. As long as you don't allow your communities to mingle, and keep your public and openly accessible profiles separate, you should never have problems.

    What concerns me much more is the possibility of becoming too successful in my field. Power and money attract the worst kinds of people. Especially when they've got material to blackmail you with.

  10. #10

    Default

    Advice from a former teacher here.



    Quote Originally Posted by Elias View Post
    1) If you were a teacher, and for some reason word that you were interested in DL stuff got out, what would you do? I feel that the connections between DLism and pedophilia are inevitable from others, but unwarranted. (I mean come on, preteens aren’t even associated with diapers. Why would I pick this career if I was just after that kind of satisfaction?)
    I think this initially goes a step to far and ignores a more important point- don't let it get out! First, take precautions against doxxing. I have a mental list of all the personal things I've said about myself here- where my degrees are from, research that I've worked on, types of papers published with my real name, journals I've been published in, etc. Whenever I say something that could identify myself personally, I take some time to google that information and see how close to my identity I can come. Second, make sure all your information is circumstancial. When I talk about things that could identify myself IRL, I always make sure that they're things I could retain plausible deniability for. Sure, it's more than likely me, because how many people have (A) teached in this area and (B) been published in this journal and (C) have won championships in BBQ competitions? However, more than likely isn't proof. If I get in trouble, the lack of a smoking gun should be more than enough for the union to protect me from insane parents. What you want to avoid putting out is smoking guns. Don't say you teach First Grade at Arthur Elementary in Podunk, NY. Don't put out pictures of you in ABDL gear, or any sexual getup. [Aside: if you do so stupidly anyway, buy a really big temporary tattoo and put it someplace the camera will see.]

    Anyway, as that leads into, I would go for plausible deniability. Every time I get a new GP (I move a lot) I tell her that I have urinary incontinence. You know how easily you thought you'd get diapers by wetting the bed as a teenager? Getting a diagnosis of urinary incontinence as an adult is that easy. I get asked for some information about it and say that it was always an issue growing up, I still have it infrequently. When my doctor asks if I want to do something about it, I say that I control it adequately by wearing diapers and that I'm satisfied with that approach. She tells me that's fine and puts a diagnosis of incontinence in my file.

    I've always done this simply for the possibility that I ever have a medical issue related to using diapers. It seems unlikely, but it isn't impossible. This might also help you. If there's ever an issue that a parent came to the principal and said so and so such and such, simply say that you have a documented medical condition and your GP can vouch. Not only is that cover, but it'll actually help protect your job. You've made the issue over incontinence. If they want to fire you for it, they'd better be willing to go to court and say that your incontinence made you unfit to hold the position.



    Quote Originally Posted by Elias View Post
    2) As a parent, would you have a problem sending your child to a teacher who might be an AB/DL? Forget what the general public thinks….as individual members of this online community, what do YOU think?
    People fear what they don't know. As a person who's well-aware of the ABDL community, I wouldn't have any problem with sending my child to an ABDL teacher. If someone is a teacher- has a degree, passed the Praxis, passed interviews with the school administration, had a background check and was fingerprinted- that's all I need to know. What they do on their own time is of their own volition.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by HokieABDL View Post
    All I can say is if it gets exposed through no fault of your own, definitely do what the people on this site recommend and educate and say, "I keep it out of school and to myself, the joker who outed me is a dweeb."
    I know this sounds like it makes sense, but it's a historically losing proposition. If school finds out, then you didn't do enough to keep it out of school and to yourself. Until you have tenure, teaching is largely at-will employment and "diaper fetish" isn't a legally-protected class. You can't be fired, but your Superintendent can choose to not renew your contract for any reason or no reason. Superintendent of Schools is a political job. If he feels that standing by a teacher outed for a weird fetish is more work than hiring a new teacher over the summer- and elementary ed teachers are a dime a dozen- then the teacher's going to be out of a job real fast. Gay teachers have had employment problems for a long time because of this.

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