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Thread: Have you broken up with the only person who knows?

  1. #1

    Default Have you broken up with the only person who knows?

    A lot of my interest here is still filled with self-loathing, embarrassment and shame. I'm past the binge/purge cycles, at least, but I'm definitely not one who is secure with this fetish.

    One person knows. My boyfriend of 4 years. We've had some playtime, and even though I love it, afterward I go through this massive guilt and revulsion cycle. I haven't had the urge in at least 6-8 months and I am totally happy about that (had a few dreams here and there but never the urge).

    Anyway, I have so much self-hate for this, I guess the self-actualization is coming along very slowly for me... but what happens if my boyfriend and I break up? 4 years is a long time and it's not like I'm really contemplating a break up... but if he isn't the one... How do I go on in life knowing that someone out there knows this huge, huge secret about me? Someone I can no longer trust?

    Honestly, the idea of it makes me so sick. Any experiences to share?

  2. #2


    Well, my entire college knows I lived an exclusively gay lifestyle all through college, though no one knew anything about the diapers. It is what it is I suppose. At least we live in a more liberated society than when I graduated from college, 1970. The internet informs people that many, many people are into different kinks, and I suspect that much of the population has it's own kinks that it either wishes it did, or in fact, does engage. I think people understand sexual kinks, and they would see it as that, rather than the whole baby/regression scenario.

    I think if you have someone special who understands you and participates, I would be happy with that. Tonight my wife thought I said I was in my little mood, and she asked me if that's what I said. She would have supported me if that was the case. What I said was that my back was hurting...haha...a sad far cry. We are who we are, and anyone who criticizes that or condemns is probably a hypocrite. To hell with them.

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    This is one of the main reasons I don't wanna tell my girlfriend. We've been together for 3 years now but you never know.. And the fact that we're still in college makes my decision not to tell her even more set in stone. One can dream though!

  4. #4


    Hi Alexa!

    I know I have had the same fears, and I am sure You and I are not alone. I have been in a few relationships that have included diapers, and despite not all those relationships ending the nicest, to my knowledge, none of the girls have made my interest for this fetish public news.

    You mention that you are not considering breaking up. Good! After so many years you will know him well, and I hope it works out for you two. If he is willing to play, I would say go for it. So many people out there are with partners they are too shy to tell, or have told but had their wishes denied. Please don't go worrying about what he might tell people should(!!) you both one day go in separate ways.

    I know the whole ABDL thing is still very taboo, and despite efforts of people, organizations, and TV appearances, It clearly always will remain this way. But, having said that, also know that the ABDL lifestyle/interests are also 100% harmless, and truly a simple form of pleasure that can be extremely rewarding and satisfying.

    It saddens me to hear of your "self loathing", "embarrassment" etc. Again, over the years I have read numerous such comments from folk around the world, but I always need to ask them to really ask themselves why.. Why do they feel that way? Just because you might have desires to wear a warm, comfy diaper, and perhaps be taken care of by 'daddy', to regress a little from this rather stressful world... Should we hate ourselves for that? Some people use drugs, or drink excessively to escape from reality a bit. Some do things even worse.

    Should the proper desires return, I would say go for it. Wear those diapers. Wear those 'baby' clothes, whatever it may be. If you need to do it more on your own when he is not around, then cool. But it sounds to me that he doesn't mind it at all anyway, as he has played in the past, so you need not worry.

    I wish you both all the very best

  5. #5

  6. #6


    Breaking up doesn't mean that all the trust will be gone. It is possible to break up on good or at the very least neutral terms. Ask him now to reveal something about himself that is just as embarrassing to him as this would be to you if it got out? Also maybe remember that in the future you will be a different person with different thoughts and feelings on the subject. If worse comes to worse and you do breakup for some reason you might be at a point where you really don't care about what he has to say on the matter or who he has to tell. Worrying too much is what causes us such cycles of guilt, stress and fear. Be who you are and f&&k anyone who doesn't like it, you can't please everyone.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by Alexa View Post
    How do I go on in life knowing that someone out there knows this huge, huge secret about me? Someone I can no longer trust?

    Honestly, the idea of it makes me so sick.
    you & me both... not goin into details, but I am currently in a situation where someone knows a lot bout me & there is the possibility that that person will tell some people if they deem it necessary... not a good place to be in & I know I shoulda jus kept things secret...

    I think most people will say in response to you: you just need to have faith sometimes in life & that faith could be in the form of trusting another person... deep interpersonal relationships are inherently risky... es always the risk that you'll be hurt in some way... gotta look @ the costs & benefits i guess...

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