Today i had a chat to my mother about the stupid things we did as kids.
I spoke of the time i put beads up my nose, and she started laughing.
Puzzled, i asked her whats so funny and the look on her face told me it was an embarrassing memory of me as a kid.
I cannot believe she still remembers the time a asked for a diaper at age 5 and paraded around the house wearing one.
I knew what she thought and i quickly changed the topic.
If only she knew that my diaper fetish never went away!
On the way home i remembered everything that i went through in 2011, when i my my first post here and was struggling to accept having this fetish, and having my first major depression.
I have told this story already, however i don't recall mentioning a recurring dream i had when i was around 4-7 years old.
This is ultimately what lead to full acceptance of my fetish, and was a sort of warning for when i got older.
It was of me waking up in the middle of the night, going outside with my arms raised.
I wished i was diapered.
At that point in the clear skies of night, with the moon at its fullest a creature starts flying towards me, answering my wish.
At first it barley visible and as it approaches, its is the ugliest thing i have ever seen.
Sometimes it was what looked like an old witch demon, or just an old ugly lady.
Anyhoo, as it approaches, i see its terrible face and anticipate its going to kidnap me.
At that point i close my eyes and lay on the ground in the fetal position.
It was a sort of a terrified exciting feeling as i knew that i would be diapered at some point.
The creature swoops up and grabs me and flies up to the skies at full speed.
At that point i open my eyes and see this creature looking up at the skies ahead,looking particularly ugly but im no longer as scared and i keep my eyes shut.
Suddenly i open my eyes up and i am getting diapered.
What a wonderful feeling that was.
The ugly demon witch lady is no longer here, instead the figure is either a beautiful woman or my own mother.
Everything is golden and white, sort of like what i would imagine heaven would of looked like as a kid, and i get up off the bed and walk around the corner to a bright glowing presence, that i cannot see with my own eyes, only a figure.
I go ahead and sit on its lap and it appears to be my father.
To this day, i can still remember this dream i had as a kid, and it really helped me with acceptance when i was really depressed.
I actually painted the first scene of my dream out of memory, during the major depression, and i always wanted to paint since i left high school.
I give this as a gift to Adisc!
Only 7 people have seen this painting.
I actually wanted to keep the painting to validate being a diaper lover, if the $*** ever hit the fan so bad, that words could not explain my situation.
A dream can mean many things, and i really believe that this dream was a message to myself for the future.
Here is my picture and i made it looked warped on purpose.....
Has anybody ever had a similar scenario?