And by awful, I mean guilty. I posted here once upon a time, then didn't post for years and found myself nosing around in the past couple of days.
I'm 29 and I'll admit that my life has it's 'gaps' of me doing little and wasting entire years, but now I more or less have things in order and I also get to be what I want to be. I go to college, I have long hair that I keep in a high ponytail (And on occasion, even pigtails) in classes, I have black and pink Tripp NYC pants, I have the bedroom of a 16yo girl, I date boys, I don't have to hide that I date boys, I think almost of the people at my school who I don't directly go to class with think I'm a girl. On the side, I have my side interest in diapers and playing the ABDL angle, the guy I’m dating isn’t even creeped out by it. ...Also, I can make bacon whenever I want and that might be the best perk of being an independent adult.
Then I read around here and I feel awful and guilty because I realize I’m pretty lucky. There are ‘kids’ on here, dependent on their parents and fearing getting ‘found out’. They’ve moved on as adults but enter into relationships where they feel like their fetishes, interests, and other things have to remain a secret. People who have gone even farther, gotten married and living ‘Heteronormative Masculine Lives’ while having a closet and internet browser history full of secrets. So many people here seem terrified of being themselves to the point that they feel they only can be themselves in secret. Raised to believe that they have to be ‘normal’ or else society will hate them and they stay along that path until they it becomes something they’re trapped in. That’s what I see when I see a large amount of the posts on this forum and it just makes me feel terribly guilty because I get to indulge, be the person I want to be, and try to put together the professional career I want to have at the same time.
I feel so sorry for so many people I see on this forum. I wish that they had been raised or at least later been inspired to realize that life has bigger taboos concerns than the ‘evils of divergent sexuality’ or any of that. That above all, you should be who you want to be so long as it’s not something that harms other people. That being ‘a good person’ doesn’t mean ‘Seeming ‘normal’ in the eyes of everyone else’.