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Thread: serious stuff - he's positive :(

  1. #1

    Default serious stuff - he's positive :(

    Ok so I know im new here and you guys hardly know me, but its like 1.30 am and theres no one I can call and talk about this guy. Hes asleep in my bed now. My neighbor.

    I just moved and he's lived in this building for over a year, in the appt right next door to mine, when he came over the first time I practicly fell in love, hes adorable. We listened to a lot of music, he likes new age stuff, and he drank a ton of beer, tonight, and then he went and crashed in my bed.

    He knows I'm into him, and I think hes open to the idea but tonight he told me hes hiv positive. I was like, "I don't care" and I didnt, I mean, safe sex and all. But now, him in there and me sober out here, Im thinking about weather or not I should persue a relationship. Hes a drunk, probably because hes depressed and thats probably because (at least partly) because hes positive, he says hes known for 3 years.

    But hes SOOOOOO my type, so warm and open. So yeah, advise me.

  2. #2


    I personally wouldn't stay with him...But yeah...It's ultimately up to you...I'm sure he would understand...

  3. #3


    I have not had a relationship myself but I don't think I would preform activities with someone with HIV. Even with protection since that so called protection can fail as it has in the past for many people. That's why condoms and birth control and everything else only have a 99% rate of working. That's not to say you should not be friends just be careful of not getting it yourself.

  4. #4


    Well as long as you use protection for sex I would say you will be alright, if you have sex get yourself checked every now and then.

    But I wouldn't have any unsafe sex at all with him, just make sure you do that and you should be OK

  5. #5


    I wouldn't have sex with him at all. Not even safe sex, one, just ONE faulty condom that breaks, and you're fucked for life.

    You can have an emotional relationship, without being intimate. Why possibly ruin your life if he's nothing more than a fling?

  6. #6


    I wouldn't risk a sexual relationship. The whole of your life following is put at grave risk by 1 thing going wrong. I wouldn't let that put you off a relationship. Though from the sound of it he is more in need of someone to help him to cope with his feelings about it and stuff then a crush or a fling. I would say the best thing you could do would be to develop a friendship and to help him through. If you have sex, it should be safe sex of course, but I personally wouldn't take the risk.

  7. #7


    I have to agree with Mandi. You're into him and it's a great feeling... but maybe it doesn't have to be sexual (as hard as that may be...). He's HIV positive, but he still deserves to be able to have a relationship, and you deserve to be with him - just play it safe and try to keep sexual stuff out of it. Condoms aren't 100%, and one mistake can do you in FOR LIFE.

  8. #8

  9. #9


    I'm sorry, but condoms aren't magical HIV-stopping latex. Lots of bad things can happen to it.

    So if you don't mind having HIV, taking meds every day and dying young, sure, have sex with him. But I think co-masturbation (is that how you call it?) would be a better option.

  10. #10


    do you really have to have sex to be in a relationship? just lable it as "very good friends" instead of "dating" go out with him, but don't sleep with him. then you could have a phisical relationship with someone else.

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