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Thread: I don't like rl babies.

  1. #1

    Default I don't like rl babies.

    Okay i need an impartial opinion.

    My cousin is going skiing in February and my parents who I live with want to keep her baby. I really don't want them to keep him but even at 26 my opinion is meaningless in any serious situation.

    For the record i don't like babies. Not at all. I don't know why but I just don't. Now in my family I am the exception most all my relatives love babies even the guys are good with kids.

    Now my mother is harping on me saying i need to like babies. I have tired but even being in the room with one pisses me off. Now she wants me to hold the kid but i just don't want too. She keeps saying i'd like babies if I would let myself. I have tried repeatedly to like them but i just don't.

    Now does it sound like I am just being bullheaded or are there others like me?

  2. #2

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    You don't "need" to like babies. There's no making you like something that you don't: you're entitled your opinions, likes and dislikes no matter if you're the only one in the family who thinks it that way.

    If your parents want to keep your cousin's baby it's fine if the place is theirs and not yours, but they can't get you involved in taking care of him/her if you don't feel like doing so. At least judging by the fact that it's a skiing vacation it should be just a quick temporary thing.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxicoon View Post
    Okay i need an impartial opinion.

    My cousin is going skiing in February and my parents who I live with want to keep her baby. I really don't want them to keep him but even at 26 my opinion is meaningless in any serious situation.

    For the record i don't like babies. Not at all. I don't know why but I just don't. Now in my family I am the exception most all my relatives love babies even the guys are good with kids.

    Now my mother is harping on me saying i need to like babies. I have tired but even being in the room with one pisses me off. Now she wants me to hold the kid but i just don't want too. She keeps saying i'd like babies if I would let myself. I have tried repeatedly to like them but i just don't.

    Now does it sound like I am just being bullheaded or are there others like me?
    hey, Maxicoon;
    i know some folks who don't necessarily like to be around little babies... and as one such person myself, i fully understand the feeling. of course, i am old enough to know why i am as i am. and it's not the "baby" that i don't like. it's that having made an emotional investment in "babies" before only to deal with their parent removing said "babies" without any concern for my emotional connection; i don't find the pain to be worth the effort any more. i actually like "babies"... (soft smile)

    but too, i know there are many other reasons that a person may have for not wanting to be around "babies".... for instance; everyone seems to unduly faun over new babies. as if they had never seen one before. having been responsible for two of them myself, i just don't get this behavior. yes, i took care of them both with the greatest of love, empathy, effort and over-sight.... and maybe it could be said that i spoiled them in some ways. but i most certainly did not faun over them, or any other baby.

    and that brings me to you, Maxicoon....
    does the idea of having a "baby" around make you feel differently in some way about your self? i mean, do you feel less important. or less like you can see yourself as deserving to be who you are. maybe like you disappear into the woodwork even more than you possibly already do.... and please forgive me for putting it this way, but i have been a parent myself. does that squalling little bundle-of-joy displace you in some way that you haven't come to terms with.... maybe something like the baby is getting what you really want... or maybe what you feel that you never had in the first place?

    please don't feel bad if anything i have said resonates with you. if you have these sort of feelings, it's perfectly Ok.... i understand how a person could feel alone with a baby in the house. a lot of people do for a lot of reasons. i am one, and you are another.... there is nothing wrong with you and i for the feelings that we have.....

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    hey, Maxicoon;
    i know some folks who don't necessarily like to be around little babies... and as one such person myself, i fully understand the feeling. of course, i am old enough to know why i am as i am. and it's not the "baby" that i don't like. it's that having made an emotional investment in "babies" before only to deal with their parent removing said "babies" without any concern for my emotional connection; i don't find the pain to be worth the effort any more. i actually like "babies"... (soft smile)

    but too, i know there are many other reasons that a person may have for not wanting to be around "babies".... for instance; everyone seems to unduly faun over new babies. as if they had never seen one before. having been responsible for two of them myself, i just don't get this behavior. yes, i took care of them both with the greatest of love, empathy, effort and over-sight.... and maybe it could be said that i spoiled them in some ways. but i most certainly did not faun over them, or any other baby.

    and that brings me to you, Maxicoon....
    does the idea of having a "baby" around make you feel differently in some way about your self? i mean, do you feel less important. or less like you can see yourself as deserving to be who you are. maybe like you disappear into the woodwork even more than you possibly already do.... and please forgive me for putting it this way, but i have been a parent myself. does that squalling little bundle-of-joy displace you in some way that you haven't come to terms with.... maybe something like the baby is getting what you really want... or maybe what you feel that you never had in the first place?

    please don't feel bad if anything i have said resonates with you. if you have these sort of feelings, it's perfectly Ok.... i understand how a person could feel alone with a baby in the house. a lot of people do for a lot of reasons. i am one, and you are another.... there is nothing wrong with you and i for the feelings that we have.....
    I know I dislike babies and small children but thats only because I find them annoying since I don't know how to deal with them and at the same time I wish I could be like them. But frankly its mostly since I've always distanced myself from kids/babies as much as I've could, tried to be mature for my age as a kid, etc.

  5. #5

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    AAAWWWW,
    at least thats the reaction I get when dealing with babies, got no problems with them, just don't have any of my own, I can say that my teenage years social life was a bit wrecked by almost constantly babysitting my two little sisters who were 14 years younger than me. I kinda hate to say this, but, bringing up two little ones before I was 18 kinda put me off to having more, I still find em cute, I generally don't have any problems calming a kid down if handed to me, but, I kinda got the attitude along the lines of my mom, not my kid, I can generally hand em back after a bit.
    These days though, I usually get the attitude from parents is, 'you're 40 and don't have any kids, you don't know how to handle them.' so, I havent held a baby in like, 15 years or so. oh well

    I kinda like watching toddlers a bit, they're funny and cute sometimes, last week, while on a service call, I had a 3 year old come up and hug me outta the blue. it got a chuckle outta me, I took his hand and brought him back to mom. I had a pretty good time on that call, lots of kids around,

    I have to admit the slightest bit of jealousy seeing the toddler getting changed tho.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    hey, Maxicoon;
    i know some folks who don't necessarily like to be around little babies... and as one such person myself, i fully understand the feeling. of course, i am old enough to know why i am as i am. and it's not the "baby" that i don't like. it's that having made an emotional investment in "babies" before only to deal with their parent removing said "babies" without any concern for my emotional connection; i don't find the pain to be worth the effort any more. i actually like "babies"... (soft smile)

    but too, i know there are many other reasons that a person may have for not wanting to be around "babies".... for instance; everyone seems to unduly faun over new babies. as if they had never seen one before. having been responsible for two of them myself, i just don't get this behavior. yes, i took care of them both with the greatest of love, empathy, effort and over-sight.... and maybe it could be said that i spoiled them in some ways. but i most certainly did not faun over them, or any other baby.

    and that brings me to you, Maxicoon....
    does the idea of having a "baby" around make you feel differently in some way about your self? i mean, do you feel less important. or less like you can see yourself as deserving to be who you are. maybe like you disappear into the woodwork even more than you possibly already do.... and please forgive me for putting it this way, but i have been a parent myself. does that squalling little bundle-of-joy displace you in some way that you haven't come to terms with.... maybe something like the baby is getting what you really want... or maybe what you feel that you never had in the first place?

    please don't feel bad if anything i have said resonates with you. if you have these sort of feelings, it's perfectly Ok.... i understand how a person could feel alone with a baby in the house. a lot of people do for a lot of reasons. i am one, and you are another.... there is nothing wrong with you and i for the feelings that we have.....
    That is entirely possible. I do tend to disappear into the wood work so to speak. I hadn't thought about it from that angle. Thanks that might be something I have to consider.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fire2box View Post
    I know I dislike babies and small children but thats only because I find them annoying since I don't know how to deal with them and at the same time I wish I could be like them. But frankly its mostly since I've always distanced myself from kids/babies as much as I've could, tried to be mature for my age as a kid, etc.
    yea, young kids can be hard to figure out if your not around them all day every day. just imagine how hard it is/was for your parents to understand some of the stuff that you have been into at times.... (grin)

    i wonder if it is a common response by some children to try and become mature for their years in a family where they are not getting much if any attention. i know that is what i did as my Father spent way more time on my older brother (as if i didn't exist). and my mother's favorite was my little brother. so i just got left on my own and grew-up real fast in many ways. that could also be in part, why i see most children as needing to grow-up a little faster then they seem too.

    then too, i also think that a parent that has been in the military tends to (possibly unfairly) expect too much too soon out of their children.... i was probably guilty of this myself.....

  8. #8

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    Really liking or loving babies is a maternal/paternal thing. I loved my children, as babies and every stage of their development. As for other people's babies, I'm pretty meh, except for my grandchildren. I can remember when you give them your finger and that little hand clasps it and won't let go. It's such an amazing contact, you the adult, and this tiny child he trusts you implicitly. I would say, give yourself a chance, and just try to see them a little differently. They are quite amazing.

  9. #9

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    I'm actually glad you started this thread, Maxicoon.
    I'm not too fond of babies either, but I don't hate them. It's like I can be around a happy baby and play simple games with him/her to make them laugh (I don't make those stupid faces or baby talk though). But once they start screaming it's all over. Loud noises and I don't get along very well. A screaming baby or toddler makes me feel very uncomfortable, almost angry, and I feel most of my muscles tense up... Needless to say, I won't be having kids, despite my parents and boss saying "You'll change your mind someday." I like having friends with kids so I can play with the baby and give it back.



    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    yea, young kids can be hard to figure out if your not around them all day every day. just imagine how hard it is/was for your parents to understand some of the stuff that you have been into at times.... (grin)
    YES! This makes me feel awkward around babies I don't really know. They just stare, and I have no idea what they're thinking.



    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    for instance; everyone seems to unduly faun over new babies. as if they had never seen one before. having been responsible for two of them myself, i just don't get this behavior.
    I don't get this either. Babies are born into this world every few seconds, which this type of overpopulation kind of disturbs me. I agree that childhood is a special part of life (hence being AB lol), but I don't think babies are such a special part of society. Especially since it somewhat seems fake. When you're a little kid you're a "precious gift from above," then once you hit a certain age you're just another human being.

    I'll admit I get a jealous of toddlers, particularly when I see them sucking on a pacifier in public, or getting a diaper change. But at the same time I'm happy for them.

    So Maxicoon, I don't think you have to like babies. You can like or dislike whatever you want. But it's good to at least tolerate the little ones. Especially when it comes to family. I think for the most part people are "hardwired" to like babies, that way we take care of them and resist the urge to hurt them when they drive us nuts. But from a logical standpoint, babies aren't really impressive creatures.

  10. #10

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    Oh yea, when those little hellions open-up and start screaming i pride myself on being able to totally disassociate from what my ears are telling me. i don't like them doing that, but i have always been able to screen it out. if i couldn't, it would probably make me as uncomfortable and or angry as it seems to make others.

    but as i get older it does get harder to deal with.

    but like DogBoy, i too have had both the typical, and the profound parental experiences. however, living in a life where many of my friends and the folks that i have met, are either asexual and don't want the sort of relationship that makes children possible. gay and mostly not thinking of children. or transgender and living in a life that somewhat precludes children.... this unique circle of friends i have does not live any less of a life for not wanting or having their own children. but i am sure that many of them have been told at one point or another by parents or siblings, that they really need to experience parenthood to like it. or that it's the purpose of life to make more life.... try it you'll like it.... or something to that effect. but that is not the point in my opinion.

    i feel that anyone has the right to simply say "no".... to children. regardless of their reason. and not be made to feel any guilt over it.
    and if at some point that choice changes for any given person in their life... so be it. but again, no guilt....
    Last edited by littlelodgewrecker; 14-Jan-2013 at 14:55.

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