It has been quite a while since I posted anything here, but this has been on mind for a while and I thought we could discuss it.
So, with out rambling on for too long, I will give you a "spark notes" version of this story.
So a year ago I met this girl at my university. We met up by chance during the start of the new semester. She was incredibly shy and didn't have many friends. Over the course of time we began to spend more time with each other. Despite her incredible shyness, she was actually very interest once you got her to open up. We had a lot of things in common, were studying the same subject, etc.
Now, I have a bit of a soft spot for shy girls, let alone cute shy girls. Naturally, these factors combined with the fact that her personality was aligned pretty well with mine and we actually had a lot in common. I began to develop "more than friend"feelings for her, but never told. The reason I never told her was based on prior experiences that had gone horribly wrong. So, I never told her, no big deal though.
The semester starts to come to an end and she tells me out of the blue one day "I don't want to hang out with you anymore" after asking her if she wanted to grab some coffee. I was taken back by this b/c I had no idea why she literally went from being friendly the prior week to this response. She later told me that she was seeing someone and no longer wanted to associate with me. I was saddened, to say the least. Painful as it was (actually the first time I legitly cried in over 2 years) I had to put it aside since I was getting ready to depart to China for my solo journey/work assignment across China for the summer.
We end up not speaking much over the summer and we are "on our guard" with each other when ever one of us did speak. Now, the fall semester starts and things begin to get better. As of lately, we ran into each other out of the blue and she is happy to see me and wants to catch up over break. A few days later we have a 2 hour long Skype convo and she details how she is glad to have me as a friend, how I helped her become more self confident, less shy, etc etc. I was touched...a lot by hearing her say that. We are now really good friends again.
This is where my question comes in. Every time I see her on facebook, or think about her, I begin to feel that feeling of, well "love" again. I know that nothing can work out (or so I assume) and that it would be foolish to think of pursuing anything. However, I can't help thinking to myself: "Why are we as humans able to fall for someone, be hurt by them, then begin to fall back in love with them"? Logically, it makes no sense. I mean, if you had a pet that warmed up to you, then later had it attack you, you wouldn't really ever trust that pet again in the future, right? So how come we are able to go through these cycles with humans? It baffles me and I would like to hear of anyone's own in put on this topic. Why do you think we are able to be hurt by someone, then start to get pulled back in by them?
And for the record, I don't plan on pursuing anything with this girl. I plan to just ignore these feelings and let the dissipate. We should also note that I have still yet to have a relationship with a women. I went through (including this girl) 3 potential girls this past year and had no luck in making that leap from friendship to relationship. Could this be a problem to seriously take a look at, or is it normal-ish?
As always, thanks for your in put!