Bear with me guys this gets a little long winded, sorry about that....
Okay so many years ago I told my best friend about my diaper wearing. He was completely cool with it. I even wore diapers in front of him a time or two. Always with my pajama pants on of course as, I felt slightly weird about how he never seemed to look at me for more then two seconds while I was wearing.
Long story short I moved away for a couple of years after that and, never wore diapers in front of him again. When I moved back to town I was in a completely different space.
I had quit doing Ecstasy and was no longer shoving my fetishes down other peoples throats. Back when I first started doing E I got so comfortable with being a diaper lover and part time AB that I wore diapers at times when I shouldn't have and, told people I shouldn't have about it. I was determined to make everybody I knew either get used to it or get out. Looking back probably not the smartest idea of all time. I'd like to blame it on the drugs but, at the end of the day the drugs were just enhancing my already bad behavior.
I had recently gotten divorced at that time from a woman who didn't mind my diaper wearing but, as with most things in our lives it had to be on her terms. I had to ask her first if it was okay for me to wear them. And, then she would tell me yes or no and, weather or not I had to wear pants so she didn't have to look at it.
Needless to say life with her wasn't good. The last few months we were together before I finally ran her off I went overboard. I stopped asking her permission for anything and, just did whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted. That behavior coupled with Ecstasy's ability to lower your inhibitions and, make everything that feels good sober feel a thousand times better high, lead to me behaving really really badly.
For about a year and a half I was on a rampage. I was going to be the diaper lover I wanted to be on my terms and, my terms only. I had lived with her controlling my fetish for too long and, I wasn't ever gonna live like that again. So I started jamming it down people's throats so to speak. I wasn't being a jerk about it or anything. I just didn't care what anybody thought about it. I was going to wear a diaper and that was that! Stay and hang out if you want, if not there's the door don't let it hit you on the way out.
About a year into this behavior I moved back to the small town where my best friend lived. That's when I first told him. I was still doing a lot of E at that time. Which lead to me getting fired from my job and, having to move away again. Strangely enough this was the only person of that time period that I ever really cared about what he thought about my diaper wearing. All the others I could have cared less about at the end of the day. Everybody else could have left and told me what a freak I was but, not him. His opinion mattered. Which is why I always had the pajama pants on when wearing diapers in front of him.
Well in the next couple of years living away from him and the small town where I had spent most of my adult life. I got cleaned up. Stopped doing the E and met a wonderful woman. Yes she knows all about my diapers and, is very very very involved in my fetish. She has become my mommy and, from time to time my playmate in diapers. We have a wonderful diapered life together. I haven't changed my own diaper while she's home and, awake in years. I still do it myself when she is out of town or sleeping. A few years ago I convinced her to move back to my small town and, my best friend with me. So now I have her and, my best friend and it's been great. But recently it got even better.
Over the last few years of him and, I hanging out diapers have come up a couple of times. Mostly just in discussion about what makes people happy that doesn't hurt anybody kind of talks and things of that nature. But, it hasn't been something we regularly talk about in any meaningful kind of way.
I was no longer feeling a need to shove anything down anybody's throat. I had learned the difference between people I need to tell (who need to see i.e. my wife) , people I want to tell (but, may or may not want to know or see), and, people who had no business knowing or seeing anything and, when I should do or not do any of the above. Something I struggled with when I was high. Honestly it's something I struggle with sober sometimes. Although it's much easier to tell the difference before it's too late when your sober.
So a couple of months back he asked me about my diapers. And, I was happened to be in the mood to talk about them. It was the first real discussion we had about it in years. He asked all kinds of questions. Like why I never wore them when he was around like I did when I first told him.
I told him how I though it kinda bothered him so I didn't do it anymore. He told me that it did kinda bother him but, only because it was such a shock to hear it in the first place he just wasn't ready for it to happen as fast as it did. He asked if I was still that comfortable wearing diapers in front of people now that I was sober.
Thing is yeah I am. Really for the most part. I no longer answer the door for the pizza guy wearing a diaper and a girls t-shirt. I no longer sign for a package from UPS while wearing a babydoll nighty and, a diaper. I no longer tell all my co-workers or all my new friends about it. It is after all a small town. Most of my brash and brazen openness took place when I lived elsewhere in big cities.
It was at that point when he asked me if I sometimes cancelled on him so I could hang out in my diapers and, do my thing. I admitted that yes I do cancel our jam nights (we play music together) so I can wear diapers. Which made him laugh and, he asked me if that's why he wasn't coming over on Thursday this week. I was honest and told him yes. He kinda bitched me out for it a little in a joking manner saying that it was his only time out of the house and not at work and that the nights he doesn't come over he's board out of his head at home.
I told him that I hadn't worn diapers in a couple of months and that I was taking the next week to do so. I was going to have a whole weekend of nothing but diapers. My own son had left home for school and I had no where to go and nothing I had to do and, it was the first time in months that had happened and I was taking it. He relented and said he understood.
So that weekend comes and after my girlfriend had gone to bed (She works days I work nights, so I stay up all night to stay on a schedule) I got a text from him asking if he could come over for a bit after work. I said sure I'll even put some pants on for you.
So he gets there a couple hours later and, I put pants on and answered the door. What happened next has changed everything and nothing all at the same time.
He came in and, asked if I was wearing my diapers and, I said yeah. He told me I didn't have to wear pants. That he didn't mind since he was intruding on my time, knowing that I had this planned. I was shocked. He told me that he had come to the realization that it was his problem not mine, that he hadn't wanted to see it before. He said that he was thinking about it at work and, found himself wonder how if something could make me happy who was he to make me go without. So if I wanted to take my pants off go ahead.
I did just that. I took my pants off and there I was in nothing but my diaper and a t-shirt. It felt awesome. I love wearing diapers. And it felt awesome to be who I am in front of my best friend.
We have always had a weird sometimes combative back and forth. 20 years of playing in the same band and hanging out 2 nights a week, raising kids together does that to ya sometimes. We have raging arguments about everything from movies to religion. He's the only person I can have a deep theological debate with. he's a devote Christian and I am agnostic. Thankfully we both agree on politics or we'd probably kill each other. In short we are like brothers we are each others family. Have been since we first met 22 years ago. back when we only knew three chords on the guitar and were both single. At least we ain't single no more. We still only know those three chords.
So I has always told him about how diapers are a great stress relief for me. which he picked up on from the vibe in the room. He told me so too. He said that I seemed much calmer and, far less likely to get ramped up and on a rant. He then asked if he could come over tomorrow and, hang out with me while I was wearing diapers. I was thrilled. I got to hang out and wear my diapers.
The next night was a bit weird. I was in diapers and a t-shirt when he got there. Everything was normal until he was hit with the reality that I had to change my diaper because I wet them. He already knew I wet them but this had never been something he had really had to deal with in real life.
So I go to change myself and, suddenly he's talking really fast and changing the subject randomly. Do you know how hard it is to change your own diaper while somebody is talking to you like that? I wear diapers to slow down and d-stress. So I talk to him about it. I told him it's not like he hasn't seen me naked before. We've been skinny dipping in the lake before. He tell me it's the diaper and the process I'm going thru and he doesn't really know what to do so he freaked out. I laughed. I told him to just relax and, not to expect a real answer out of me about anything he's talking about until I'm done. He laughed and agreed that that was fair enough.
So a few weeks go by and, it's been awesome I'm in diapers every time he's here and, it's so awesome to be who I am in front of him. My son is off to college and, not coming over 4 days a week.I have more time to wear diapers then since I lived 200 miles away from him and my son.
Well one night I was too tired. I didn't want to go thru the rigamarole of putting a diaper on. It just seemed like work, I was that tired. I had to stay awake and get back on my night time schedule (I had been on vacation and was on a day schedule to spend more time with my girl/mommy. So he came over to hang out and help keep me up.
The next week he confessed that he didn't like it when I wasn't wearing my diaper. That he has come to love the atmosphere so much more now that I'm relaxed and, being me. That he likes me better in diapers. To his dismay I also wasn't wearing one that week either. He actually yelled at me to go put a diaper on. I laughed and did it for him.
It's become such a norm now that last night we got to talking about it again. I have been so comfortable in my diapers and so happy to have this time with him I wanted to know his boundaries. I have been having some real AB cravings while I'm diapered. Not to be AB in front of him, just to have some of my AB and possibly cross-dressing things too. Baby time is not something I could do in front of him. As much as I want those things being a baby in front of him is just not one of them. I don't want to get on the floor and play Lego's with him. That would be cool on some levels but, it's not what this is about. I just like those things. I often sit around wearing a babydoll nighty, sucking on a pacifier and, have nothing but grown up talk with my girlfriend.
So we talked about his boundaries. He is not going to change me. I'm cool with that. I wouldn't have a problem with him doing it and, in fact would love for him to change me but,he doesn't feel right about changing a grown mans diaper. And, that is more then cool with me because, as I have learned it's my fetish not his. He shouldn't have to participate in anything he doesn't want to. Just because I want him to do it don't me I need him to. It took me a long time to really learn the difference between want and need. So if he don't want to he don't have to.
But, he is completely cool with pacifiers, sippy cups, stuffed animals and, oddly enough my babydoll nighties. In fact I spent all of last night in this really cute pink lace number and, a diaper. Which was freaking awesome!!
He's so cool. I showed him a couple of my nighties and, he even told me how cute they were. Although we both agreed that because of my pot belly there are some nighties that I really just shouldn't wear. Maybe my new years resolution will be to get my tubby butt on the floor and do some crunches.
Like I said he doesn't want to see me as a baby and, that's cool. He don't care if I suck on a pacifier or wear a nighty but, for me to be crawling around on the floor playing with blocks, and dolls is another thing altogether. And that's fine. It's really hard for me to get in that space anyway. I'm still more of an DL with AB tendencies then anything else anyway. Which leaves him free to have a more or less passive involvement while enjoying the lighter mood in the room.
So now I'm free to be me in front of my best friend. It's been awesome. I have come to really look forward to our nights together. It's so cool to get to dress how I want and do want I want without fear of losing anything. I don't have to stop being me to hang out. And that is worth more then gold to me.
I know this was really long and in some ways kinda pointless. But, it's all true and I felt like I had to share with the community. I wasn't really intending to write this long of a post but, it's just kinda how I am.