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Thread: Fantasy: Is it something I really want?

  1. #1

    Default Fantasy: Is it something I really want?

    Hi everyone,

    This is my first thread since my intro thread, and I just wanted to post a question that I've always pondered, myself.

    "Is your fantasy one that is best kept in your imagination and in practice? Or is it something worth pursuing through 24/7 practice, surgery, or other means?"

    To explain this a little better, I'll give my version of this:
    I have always loved diapees, and I have always loved feeling innocent and cute. I am a 20 year old man, and I love the IDEA of being forced into diapers, forced into pink, girly clothes (matching- low cut and tight- pink sockies, a pink paci, painted pink finger nails and toe nails to match my outfit, and a pink frilly baby dress/onsie that's too small to hide my super thick diapee. Forced to dress like this and do humiliating things is something that really appeals to me (especially being taken advantage of in more ways than one).

    Here's the kicker though, I've done stuff like this in the past (either alone, or with a girlfriend that I had- which has unfortunately left my life since), but once I "finished" or once I had started to actually role play, or whatever the situation was, I would always feel disgusted with myself very quickly. I wouldn't be able to live like that, I don't understand why, but for some reason it's such an AMAZING thought to have when it's just that, a thought. Yet when put into action, it's nothing good at all. I've always wished that I was born a girl, that way I wouldn't be conflicted with things such as this, I really am a wittle girly at heart (very caring, loving, and too quick to fall for someone), but I definitely excel as a man (I am a fitness model and trainer in my occupational life). Because of all this, I could never call myself transgendered because I am happy as a man, but the though of being a woman is incredible to me. It's a very "back and forth" ordeal for me, and is exactly why, for me, this is something that is best kept as fantasy. Because hormones, surgery, and other 24/7 permanent procedures and practices are just too scary for me...

    Thanks for reading!! I would love some feedback on this, it's something I've always wanted to talk about, and I would really like to hear what you all have to say! Be easy on the newbie!!:]

  2. #2

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    You could just accept you're self as gender fluid. When you think about being a girl, is it just as a little? Or do you picture your self as an older girl too like being a real mommy.

    You could just be a person that likes to regress as a girl but live happy as an adult male life.

    As for the shame thing, I might have an idea why if you have some stereotypical guy traits:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/2...male-self.html

    See I can't relate to that because even as grown up like not even thinking about regressing, I o not share any of those traits past the gender conflict thing. That is why I asked for an article for girls to see how it would have a more impact on us as far as our "Normal" life.

  3. #3

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    What is a gender fluid? And when I think of being a girl, it's like this. When I'm making love to a woman, I take a 3rd person perspective of the act, and I visualize myself as her, I feel what she feels, experience what she experiences. As far as the role playing, my fantasy is to be an adult Baby Girl, this is something that will never happen because I am a man, but the visualization that I have is so powerful that in that moment, I am. The shame comes after the climax of the moment, at which point I dismiss it all and continue on with my regular day. I'm not even sure if this is posted in the right section on here!! I'm not sure if I'm a sissy, ABDL, or even this gender fluid you're talking about. I need find out! More importantly, though. I need find better ways to experience these feelings, the shame takes alot away from it all, and I'd really like to prolong how I feel either through practice or a different process of thinking.

    As a trainer and public speaker, I preach and practice control over mind, body, and emotion because it allows for us to experience life in a whole new way. We begin to live our lives as we want rather how we "should," and it's all I can do to do my absolute best to be the best me that I can be. I have extraordinary dreams because I refuse to be ordinary. I am not normal. I am Norman.

  4. #4

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    one of the things under Genderqueer:
    Genderqueer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    It means that you can move in and out between stereotypical girl and boy views, likes, dislikes, whatever.

    I am not sure what exactly it can mean with your view when making love, but there is something about being in touch with what others are feeling.
    Traits of an Empath
    I have no idea if you are doing that because you are an empath or have some kind of subconscious wish of being a girl.

    There is nothing wrong with being a boy regressing to a baby girl, others do that.

    A sissy just means a guy that likes to wear girl things without a real need for being transgender or rejecting their body. Or some fetish of being forced dressed up as a girl and being dominated.

    The shame thing, did you read the link?:
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/2...male-self.html
    That might be a reason for it. If that does not fit you explain to me why and I'll try come up with something else. Main thing from that for you to me would be:


    The biggest male gender role at odds with some of the feelings associated with AB/DL activities are the roles focusing on toughness and aggression. Age regression activities or enjoying the feelings of comfort or safety from them do not fit these roles. Even merely enjoying diapers for sexual pleasure would fail the fulfillment of the role since diapers are associated with an infantile, powerless state. This invokes the concepts of male gender role strain and role conflict.
    But I have no idea if you have that stereotypical guy view of being tough or this need to be strong, fight when being pushed around (Stereotypical Girl first resort is to use words while having little interest in being physically strong.) Anyways I do not know if this fit you because I do not know you =/. With all of this I am just kind of guessing based what you given me so far.


    Being transgender though means you have a strong notion to be viewed with the other gender. That is why I brought up if you can see yourself being a Mommy or doing other adult girl things. Me for example I cannot picute being a father but I can picture myself being a mommy. (I mean raising real babies btw XD I do not think I will be good at adult baby caretaking) So I have a strong view of wanting to be a girl and being viewed as a girl.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dex8914 View Post
    To explain this a little better, I'll give my version of this:
    I have always loved diapees, and I have always loved feeling innocent and cute. I am a 20 year old man, and I love the IDEA of being forced into diapers, forced into pink, girly clothes (matching- low cut and tight- pink sockies, a pink paci, painted pink finger nails and toe nails to match my outfit, and a pink frilly baby dress/onsie that's too small to hide my super thick diapee. Forced to dress like this and do humiliating things is something that really appeals to me (especially being taken advantage of in more ways than one).
    To me, this screams 'sissy'. Sissies are usually into humiliation or being 'forced' to be girly. If by 'finished' you mean, after climaxing/orgasming, then that's pretty normal. Both because there's usually a come-down after that, and also because you may be feeling guilty. I'm not sure where I read it, but it was somewhere on this site where someone had proposed that by being 'forced' into girly things, it takes the blame off you for liking it. It's okay, because you're being 'forced'. It may not apply to you, but since it seems like you feel guilty for having these desires on some level (the 'shame'), perhaps it's something to consider.

    As for being transgender (actually, transsexual), it's not something you do just for the body. It's because you're actually a woman, and want to be treated like a woman by society. Transition doesn't really make you 'prettier' or beautiful, it just makes you look more like a female. I'm sorry if I seem harsh here, but being trans is a terrible thing, and not something you want to get into just because you're naturally submissive in the bedroom. Personally, (and this is just my opinion), if you could accept this part of yourself, and accept the things you like, then I think you'll be able to enjoy them without any guilt. It's something that lots of DLs go through (a similarity you have with them), but with some work I think it's possible to simply enjoy that particular quirk. In a way, I think it's better than being straight-up vanillia, because you know exactly what you want, it really gets you going, and it gives you more variety. :3

  6. #6

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    She is right and that is the point I was trying to make but I wanted to learn more about you to make sure.
    There is 2 big reasons for me being trans

    1. Rejecting or unable to fill your physical gender role expectations (lest in my view)
    2. Wanting to be viewed as the opposite gender because that is who you are in the inside.

    For being dominated that is more of a sexual identity rather a gender identity. Kind of like how gay/lesbian/bi is different then transgender. Being a sissy is just a fetish and little to do with how you want to be viewed as overall.

    Usually transgender people have rejection of the body they are put in and rejection and/or unable to fill social norms at very young ages. I knew at 3 something was off, different about me. I did not understand why but I knew something was not right. Then later preschool years I wanted to be ballerina but felt the social pressure of unable to explore it. For the most part kids do not have sexual identities but they get a sense for gender. Usually romantic feelings come later. For me I started to have crush feelings at 7-8 for a boy.

    Also for me being transgender meant a life long inner struggle over what I am. I wanted kill myself so much starting late grade school over it. I posted a video once that explained transgender children are 5 times more likely to kill them self compared to normal people. Having social pressure telling you to fit something that you can't is extremely hard to deal with. "He is a guy he can go do x" ..... Trying not to feel lonely is hard to deal with. Like high school for me it was all boys and all they talked about was how doing x with a girlfriend was some kind of status symbol and partying. I wanted nothing to do with those conversations.(Makes me wonder what would my feelings would have been being a girl going to an all girls school.) Like she said, I do not think anyone would want to be trans, the inner torment it causes rips you a part. Accepting I am a girl in the inside made me happier but the inner torment is still there. (I am guessing the more extreme you identify the worse the torment is)

    Then you start reject smaller things like hating to hear pronouns. Earlier I did not think much of being called male pronouns but I always felt weird being called "good boy" I did not know why back then but it felt... odd... Being told "It must be a guy thing" made me feel I was being made fun of. (I am talking really young ages here, these where my feelings since the first time I heard the statements)



    Quote Originally Posted by whitefox View Post
    If by 'finished' you mean, after climaxing/orgasming, then that's pretty normal. Both because there's usually a come-down after that, and also because you may be feeling guilty.

    Also I did not take finish to mean that, I thought it meant finishing of regressing T^T

    If you are fine being a boy, then there is a good chance that first article I showed you has the answers why your having the shame feelings. I have no guilt after being dominated, it was fun for me. (Though there is no sissy aspect because I am a girl in the mind so that does not do much for me, plus the guy I was with did not like girly things //////. He even made comments on not to do my gestures. )
    Last edited by CutePrincess; 28-Dec-2012 at 21:24.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by whitefox View Post
    To me, this screams 'sissy'. Sissies are usually into humiliation or being 'forced' to be girly. If by 'finished' you mean, after climaxing/orgasming, then that's pretty normal. Both because there's usually a come-down after that, and also because you may be feeling guilty. I'm not sure where I read it, but it was somewhere on this site where someone had proposed that by being 'forced' into girly things, it takes the blame off you for liking it. It's okay, because you're being 'forced'. It may not apply to you, but since it seems like you feel guilty for having these desires on some level (the 'shame'), perhaps it's something to consider.

    As for being transgender (actually, transsexual), it's not something you do just for the body. It's because you're actually a woman, and want to be treated like a woman by society. Transition doesn't really make you 'prettier' or beautiful, it just makes you look more like a female. I'm sorry if I seem harsh here, but being trans is a terrible thing, and not something you want to get into just because you're naturally submissive in the bedroom. Personally, (and this is just my opinion), if you could accept this part of yourself, and accept the things you like, then I think you'll be able to enjoy them without any guilt. It's something that lots of DLs go through (a similarity you have with them), but with some work I think it's possible to simply enjoy that particular quirk. In a way, I think it's better than being straight-up vanillia, because you know exactly what you want, it really gets you going, and it gives you more variety. :3
    Yes, you basically hit the nail right on the head with all of that! Especially the last part about simply enjoying this particular quirk. It's what I've been trying to capitalize on, and as far as being forced... Well it's difficult because I can't find anyone I can tell, really.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by CutePrincess View Post

    For being dominated that is more of a sexual identity rather a gender identity. Kind of like how gay/lesbian/bi is different then transgender. Being a sissy is just a fetish and little to do with how you want to be viewed as overall.

    Also I did not take finish to mean that, I thought it meant finishing of regressing T^T
    Yes, this is my sexual identity, one that is kept secret from the world in its entirety, and sorry for the misunderstanding... I was trying to keep it PG, hahaha. As far as who I am outside of this, I am a man's man. Being so into fitness and focusing on such a hard, manly image for myself every single day, the sexual identity of letting go is VERY relaxing and really allows me to release. I really just wish I had someone to force me into the situations now and again to rid me of this shame because I feel like it is a self-loathing guilt that I developed from a former misunderstanding of how I truly felt earlier in my teen years.

  8. #8

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    hello there, dex....

    it sound to me as though you have a very rigid conception of gender/sex rolls... or what is more commonly referred to as the "gender-binary". basically looking at boys and girls as black and white(or blue & pink)... while at the same time, i think that maybe you find your inner-self-image to be a little less well defined... maybe. and the difference between the professional image of dex that you try put forth for the world to see... and that emerging (and uncomfortable) inner self image that you alone see is both a source of erotic arousal and fun, and well as inevitable guilt afterward....

    maybe you feel like your some how a fake in your professional life because everyone can see right through you.... or maybe you feel like your just lying to everyone including your self.... i don't know. but i do know that the difference between what is in your head that turns you on.... that turns anyone on.... is not something that people wear on the sleeve. it's private and for you and maybe your lover alone... it's a fantasy, a game, or even role play... you can be anything in the dreams of your sex-life behind closed doors. it's only when your one of those rare creatures such as a transexual that one must venture out into the public's eye and be seen in all their glory in order to be fulfilled....

    but for you, dex..... i think it's just a matter of becoming accustom to, and comfortable with your inner feelings so that you may explore them fully to see just how deep the rabbit hole goes... it may go deeper than you can possibly imagine...
    it's your right to find out.....

    and please don't worry about naming the kink, after all, you may even have found a new one that we can call "Dex"....
    but i very much doubt it..... (soft smile)
    Last edited by littlelodgewrecker; 29-Dec-2012 at 01:41. Reason: a few too many extra words?

  9. #9

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    Dex are you still wondering if you might be transgender or not? I mean that is way different then just admitting being a sissy or being sissy forced. I do not know what you mean by man's man.

    littlelodgewrecker has a good point and what I am trying to pry from you to know what the issue is esp with:


    maybe you feel like your some how a fake in your professional life some because and everyone can see right through you.... or maybe you feel like your just lying to everyone including your self....
    I said somewhere else before, I did not grow up a boy then changed to being a trans girl, I grew up pretending to be a boy and finally figuring out why I had issues.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    hello there, dex....

    it sound to me as though you have a very rigid conception of gender/sex rolls... or what is more commonly referred to as the "gender-binary". basically looking at boys and girls as black and white(or blue & pink)... while at the same time, i think that maybe you find your inner-self-image to be a little less well defined... maybe. and the difference between the professional image of dex that you try put forth for the world to see... and that emerging (and uncomfortable) inner self image that you alone see is both a source of erotic arousal and fun, and well as inevitable guilt afterward....

    maybe you feel like your some how a fake in your professional life because everyone can see right through you.... or maybe you feel like your just lying to everyone including your self.... i don't know. but i do know that the difference between what is in your head that turns you on.... that turns anyone on.... is not something that people wear on the sleeve. it's private and for you and maybe your lover alone... it's a fantasy, a game, or even role play... you can be anything in the dreams of your sex-life behind closed doors. it's only when your one of those rare creatures such as a transexual that one must venture out into the public's eye and be seen in all their glory in order to be fulfilled....

    but for you, dex..... i think it's just a matter of becoming accustom to, and comfortable with your inner feelings so that you may explore them fully to see just how deep the rabbit hole goes...
    you have that right you know.....

    and please don't worry about naming the kink, after all, you may even have found a new one that we can call "Dex"....
    but i very much doubt it..... (soft smile)
    Yes, I do look at men and women in the professional world in black and white sense, and I am a man in the outside world, and even at home. I am only a woman (Sissy Baby, Baby Girl, etc.) when I am in my sexual thought process, and I am not solely aroused by this either, I am also into the standard male and female intercourse that most of society accepts and lives by. This all is just a nice little bonus, I am not ashamed of it at all, it's just after a climax, I revert back to myself as a very stereotypical man and that's where the guilt stems from.

    I don't feel bad about lying to people, I wouldn't even mind telling them if I knew that they would understand, but basically it's as if I have a 3 lives: 1. Is how everyone sees me; professional, well spoken, clean cut, fit, intellectual, etc. 2. In my dreams of where I am going to be tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now, five or ten or 20 or 50 years from now. 3. An innocent, submissive man that loves to be forced to be a sissy baby, and who's dream is to be a Baby Girl, forced or otherwise.

    I spend alot of time in my head, and alot of time to myself, as outgoing and social I am, I have just as much time to myself to think and meditate about who I am and what I want. It's a balance that I truly thrive with:]

    Thanks again, so much you guys, this post is largely different than my others because I feel like I have a better understanding each time one of you says something, it's making leaps and bounds of a difference!

    - - - Updated - - -

    CutePrincess, hopefully the above response answers your questions! I didn't forget about you!:]

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