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Thread: Born oreintation?

  1. #1

    Default Born oreintation?

    I was thinking. All my life, i was raised to be straight. To my parents, gays are bad. Obviously, I know there is nothing wrong with being bi gay straight or whatever. I ((EDIT) thought I) ended up straight and liked girls. But lately, I have been turned on by a few males i know. So i consider my self bi now.

    To my question now. Are you born with your sexual orientation or do you develop it later in life. Can it even change?

    Thanx all
    Last edited by jasonthebeast; 15-Nov-2008 at 23:07.

  2. #2


    I suppose one's sexuality could be changed via some hardcore Clockwork Orange style mindfucking shit, but for the most part, no. Sexuality can only be repressed or hidden.

    It's difficult to say whether or not you're born with your sexuality or if it develops or changes as you grow older. Certainly, there appears to be evidence supporting both arguments. But how can you tell? If you find you're becoming attracted to something you've hitherto never been attracted to, are you in effect witnessing a 'change' in your sexuality, or just noticing a side of your sexuality that's always existed?

    At the end of the day, I don't think it really matters whatever the case is. You are who you are.

  3. #3


    When I first saw this thread, I honestly thought it was about being born head first, feet first, or cesarean first.
    But like Verscha said, you're sexual orientation has a lot to do with the environment that surrounds you and how each situation effects you. Also a lot has to do with your parents genes, and whether or not you have any older brothers (read it in a Science News).

  4. #4


    I've always felt the issue of homosexuality was to do with environmental factors and personal appeals and that no one is born into it. The search for a gene that predisposes people to be gay seems like a wasted venture to me - although a combination of other genes may help in the case. It's human nature in itself that makes the societal norm heterosexuality, albeit homosexuality (and even bisexuality) being widely practised in the animal kingdom as well. I think we still hold onto the notion that the ability to have sex is for the purpose of breeding, which in our particular species is a strictly heterosexual affair; any deviation from that is considered abnormal.

    In order to deviate from heterosexuality, I believe a person has to have the right combination of preferences and life experiences. For the former point, I've known quite a number of people who have given up on the opposite gender simply because they don't find them appealing, sexy, or otherwise "hot" enough to want to be with them. My idea of a relationship should be one both founded on physical love and emotional love. There's no point in being with someone if you don't find them sexually appealing at all, especially if you are both sexually active people. And to some people their preference simply lies within the fact they just find the same sex more attractive. There's no predisposition to homosexuality and just as everyone is unique and wired up differently, should we not expect that there'll always be those certain few who diverge from the norm.

    Moving on though, I'm a firm believer that the experiences we have in our lives ultimately shapes who we are as a person, and moulds our beliefs, our preferences, our ambitions and our inhibitions. Through an array of factors, which may or may not be conspicuous at the time, our brain processes those signals, compares then against what it already knows and stores it away for future comparisons. I've heard the story quite a number of times that a boy who was molested by an older male figure at a young age eventually turned out to be homosexual - my guess being that in order to deal with the abuse, his brain processed this encounter as wanting love from an older male figure and provided him with a yearning for wanting to have that love - a defence mechanism in other words. But that's just one example out of countless of possible reasons for being partial to the same sex.

    The idea of a homosexual gene, or predisposition to being gay just seems all too... silly to me. Our own nature plus societal norms dictate that we should be heterosexual, it's something we're born into and we don't have any control over that, therefore leading me to feel that homosexuality arises from outside factors that influence how we feel about the opposite sex as well as our personal ideals and preferences. The fact that homosexuality is such a controversial issue in the world today (and has been in the past as well) just shows that it really goes against the grain of what collective notions we hold as a society. There wouldn't be so much contention over homosexuality if it were a natural part of our species, and I'm sure by now if we were able to be predispositioned to it, evolution would have changed our genetics and biochemical make-up in the millions of years it took us to get to the stage we're at now.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie View Post
    Lots of words
    I agree with you on pretty much every point there, Lukie. Well put.

  6. #6


    In my opinion some people are born gay, some people are influenced by their environment, some people change, some people don't. There is no one answer.

  7. #7


    I don't like to discuss this topic it makes me uneasy, possibly because my knowledge in the area of sexuality amongst children is lacking. Or maybe it's just been a long day. The mind doesn't develop sexually until a late age. So how can you even say people are born gay or straight. Or do you simply mean no situation could possibly change how you are going to turn out. Honestly, It's far to complicated for humans to understand. Sexuality is the hardest part of the brain to comprehend and you should take all matters as they come. As my personal advice. Don't bother classifying yourself as straight or gay or whatever just do whatever feels nice to you.
    Last edited by Shen; 16-Nov-2008 at 02:02.

  8. #8

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by jasonthebeast View Post
    To my question now. Are you born with your sexual orientation or do you develop it later in life. Can it even change?
    in a matter of context, your's and those who have already replied, you can't say, with any real degree of certainty, which way you intrinsically swing......just a matter of age/development.
    a point never, or rarely, discussed is that during adolescence, when you still have leftovers of your childhood, those leftovers are becoming intertwined with newly emerging desires and what was once a boyish idolisation can become distorted into something of a sexual flavour.
    whichever way you're going though, you can't expect any definite answers as even the physiology of puberty isn't understood, nevermind the mental and emotional development of it - nor the interactions between them.
    confused? that's life. things should begin to settle down by the late twenties/early thirties.......but again, nothing is for sure.
    i suppose that last phrase sums it up.

  10. #10


    You know, I think it's just different for the individual. For the longest time I thought I was born straight then turned bi/gay. But looking back, I don't think that's the truth. I think it was just by virtue of luck that I never found a boy I liked. I had crushes on girls, but I never found them really physically attractive. I'm only bisexual because I can be romantically attracted to a girl, but as far as physical? No.

    I remember wanting to be a girl from a cartoon for Halloween when I was about six.
    I wanted Sakura's phoenix wand from Cardcaptors when I was about eight. My dad said no, that's for girls.

    I think it can go either way.

    But in the end, does the question really matter? What you are is what you are, no matter how you got there.

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