I have thought about how to write this topic several times, I continue to write, come back to it, and re write in order to get my true feelings and understanding down in words.
I have diapers. I have a stack within arm's reach of me now. I have always been attracted to diapers, but the feeling would not last, and was as strong for a short time as any other sexually charged fetish object.
But what happens when you are no longer sexually attracted to it? I have no wish to diaper myself, I have no wish to soak my pants/ mess myself to the overflow point. I also have to time for for fetish devices and other "adult" toys. These feelings have been manifesting themselves in dreams lately. I know something was changing, but I didnt know what. My subconsciousness has a way of letting me know things though-
In my dream, I am in front of my younger self (8/9) who is going in for a diaper change. I ask why she is still in diapers, and the response has led me to some subconscious insight- Diapers make me feel better, I know I am cared for and protected when someone changes me, checks me, or just pats my butt. Diapers remind me that I am not like everyone else, I am a little different, a little... littler. Diapers reflect my emotional state and my natural sense where I belong socially compared to others. Diapers are a physical manifestation of a personality that has no way of being recognized by others. Diapers show how I feel I fit into the world, how I should be treated, and the mind I should be given. They are my way of returning my body to the time where my mind was left behind.
Some people feel that this is great in the short term, but what about making it a lifestyle? I know that I could not and would not want to diaper myself at all times, but if someone was there watching over me I would NEVER fuss about being protected 24/7. My life, at this point, even in adulthood would be richer and more emotionally rewarding if I had the warm hug of a diaper, and the warm glow of a daddy around me... Calming me...