I'm going to discuss what I think Polyamory is and how I think it relates to ABDL; it's going to be from a very personal perspective, so quite frankly if you want to start an argument with me on this I don't want to hear it so don't bother posting. That said, I would like to ask you about how you interact with your ABDL family, and what the rules that you've establish to keep everyone happy are.
Ok, so I'm very new to this topic, I discovered it by accidentally downloading a 18+ podcast series from itunes, but over the last few weeks it's become increasingly clear to me that Polyamory is increasingly me and noticeably a part of ABDL.
So what is Polyamory?
As far as I can tell it's about sustaining committed long term loving relationships with more than one person at a time in full trust and knowledge of the rest of your partners possibly including sex but it's not necessary (wiki link to know more)
How does this relate to ABDL?
Well in real life it can clearly be applied to Dom/sub relationships, as a Dom may be in a relationship with multiple subs or two Doms might decide to introduce a third person usually a sub to their family providing they find one that fits them and everyone is willing. Although from this point there are an infinite number of molecules that can be formed rather than the standard atomic family, as once you have a 3 way relationship growing a 4 way or any other configuration can grow out of it. ABDL does kind of fall under Dom/sub in some ways, and so ABDL has Polyamory which you might find when you start to build an ADISC family of your own.
Let us discuss my family as you can see already from my signature is not a small one. My sig includes 6 littles and there are more I've not included for one reason or another, and I feel I have a close relationship with each of them. I can say, without hesitation, to each one that I love them. I love them all differently but I still love them. I am pretty sure if I got a real life partner and they knew about even one of these relationships they might say I was cheating on them, ok I'm not going out and seeing any of these people and sleeping behind my partner's back but the entertainment industry would have me believe that emotional cheating is just as bad as sexual cheating, and in some ways worse.
So this leaves me with the conundrum of if an actual partner would say this to me why don't my ADISC family complain at me that I'm spreading myself too thin. I've been told I have too many littles by some people, and although not actually directed directly at me I was informed that people with as many littles as me come across as a CTs for hire and I'd just CT anyone if I was asked. Which I think is absurd, I do what I do for me, it makes me feel better and like a bigger part of the universe. I'm not a whore for it, less a stupid one that doesn't even charge; I do what I do out of love and being loved.
Each and everyone of my ADISC family knows that I love them, I cater to them, and each of them caters to a different part of me. I cannot be entirely fulfilled by any single one of my relationships, even though each does a huge amount for me, I am difficult to cater for and no-one person slots into all of me perfect, mainly because I'm so demanding in some contradictory ways no one person can. But with more than one person around me I am wholly fulfilled.
I have discussed with more than one of my littles what it might be like to take our relationship out of the internet and into the real world, and I've imagined what it'd be like bringing them all together in one place; after all who hasn't, it's only natural to do discuss and think things eventually about internet friends, even if there's no practical way to do it. And yes, I know taking things into a real place would change my relationships somewhat. But what I'm positive nothing could ever change is that I love each and every one of them. I can see there being a huge amount of jealousy to begin with, if it ever happened, certainly a huge amount of shyness between some members, in fact I know 2 that I'd probably advise to avoid each other, and another 2 I know wouldn't be ready to join the imagined house for a while, and yet online it's all fine and dandy.
So yes, the dilemma, are these relationships that I take so seriously in my head, and affect me so physically when they stop like for a real life relationship, practical? is that the word I'm even looking for? Maybe instead I should be asking; do I take them too seriously? Or rather should I take them as seriously as I do? Better yet should there be and is there any difference between what love I feel for physical people and the love I feel via the internet?
I see no real problem with what I do, for me it's the same online as it has been in all my real life relationships, although that was a long time ago I do recall telling them they could have as many boyfriends/girlfriends besides me as they wanted, as long as they didn't do it behind my back. In the same way I'm open about all my littles with all my other littles, ok I don't disseminate their secrets and break any confidences, but on the whole if they ask me something I'll share enough to keep them happy within that. I trust each of my littles, I have a loyalty to each of them, I am as much there for them in their lowest and deepest struggles as in their highest happy times in which they feel comfortable regressing. While at the same time I don't expect them to share these things with each other.
As each of my loves is different I can say I neither love them equally nor do I love any one more than any other. Each has a different part of me to all their own, while they share a lot of me too.
So I've shared a lot about how I interact with my family without disclosing anything how about I cover the rules. Strictly speaking I haven't discussed all the rules I obey with my family but most of them have come to understand various ones that I follow.
Firstly if there is a problem I'll drop everyone else for a while to rush to their aid, when the situation has settled I'll still be there but I'll pick up everyone else again too. And at the same time they know they might need to be a little quiet for me if I need to patch someone else up.
I will do anything within my power for each of them, whether that's sorting ADISC problems for them by taking to the right people, some times risking my own membership to protect theirs, or discussing and explaining with their bio-family members what ABDL is and why it isn't really that creepy or that weird. I'd go as far as to say if I had the money to spare and they needed a real hug, I'd be on their door step for them within a day, no matter what.
I don't keep secrets, I'll keep confidences yes, but anything about me is up for discussion with them, I don't care if it's about some stupid post I've made or if they want to know anything about me, they'll get an honest response either way. Relationships grow from differences as much as similarities and only in having discussions do we find the differences that best bind us together.
Daddy needs his space, just occasionally I want to be on ADISC without my being hassled, to enjoy the friendships not the parenting, I know that each of my littles are adults and that when I want to let that part of me rest they'll be my adult friends rather than children I need to take care of, and this means a huge amount to me too.
I love them no matter what, on the whole my littles have lied to me, run away from me, shouted and stropped at me (as adults), and far worse, and every time I'll be asked a question, 'do you still love me?' or 'are you still here for me?', 'are you still my Daddy?' and to each of these questions there is only one answer, 'Always'. When I'm telling them off for something? Always. When they've purged and burned all their bridges? Always. When they've deliberately and maliciously hurt me? Always. There is nothing any one of them could do that'd stop me from loving.
And that, for me, defines Polyamory better than anything else, Always, I love them all and no matter what they do or what anyone else does, so long as they keep trusting me and loving me I'm never giving them up, and even if they do vanish that love will never fade.
This means for anyone I meet, if you want to be with me, you get the package, and that includes my littles, you may not want to talk to my ABDL family, the rest of my molecule, that's fine, but you must accept that it exists and I'm not getting rid of them, just like they can't make me give you up, only once you have accepted that will everything be ok.
Polyamory, Love Everyone
sorry about the 3 page wall of text, I was actually discovering my feelings fully as I was writing, it all feels important to me which is why I haven't shortened it, hope you enjoyed it
What are your thoughts about Polyamory?