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Thread: Owning It! it is.

  1. #1

    Default Owning It! it is.

    Not posting much, reason for that.

    I just came out at work. I posted some shit to Facebook and since some coworkers have each other friended, well it's only a matter of time.

    What I said:

    Straight up.

    I've been depressed and I'm depressed because I don't why I'm depressed to begin with. This horrible catch 22 because I want to fix whatever it is but I can't do that if I don't know what needs fixing.

    I'm tired of dealing with this shit though and I figure my only option at this point is to just say it and go down the list one by one. My biggest being this. No more lies, no more bullshit. Time to own up to who I am and who I always will be.

    Yes, I'm fucking gay.

    I realize by throwing this out in the open that I potentially outed myself at work. I've been in the graveyard shift business for a long time, 8+ years. I know homophobia is thick in such an environment, I get that it comes with the territory of the mentality of the people you work with. What you don't understand though and cannot even begin to comprehend because you are not me is how much living a lie eventually eats away at everything that makes you. I only hid and let people base their own assumptions because I didn't want to be thrown into some fucked up stereotype of whatever you perceived me to be. I am not that, labels are for suckers. I wanted to give you the chance to know me for everything else I have to offer BUT the truth. What I feared most of all though is you feeling like you had to treat me different because of who I really am. I don't give a shit, crack gay jokes. I'll be cracking them with you even! Life is way too short to get butt hurt over petty little things that don't even matter. I wish I took my own advice a long time ago but I got so caught up in my secret life that I became comfortably numb in the process.

    I'm 31 now though and I just can't do that to you anymore. Not to anyone, not ever. That's not fair to you, not fair to me, and sure as hell not fair to my partner who I'm damn proud to have in my life. I don't tell them that enough either which is also something I need to correct.

    So there it is, the truth.


    ...holy shit this beer taste good. Name:  smiley-drinking-beer.gif
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  2. #2


    Man! How intense. Enjoy that beer, sounds like you need it. It's not fair that anyone should have to cope with so much. I hope that things pan out we'll for you, you sound pretty strong actually, so hang in there.

  3. #3


    To this day, especially these days I find it oddly hard to believe - but unfortunately I know it's a shameful truth - that society still has a "problem" with homosexuals.
    A good friend of mine years ago came out about being gay and he was all worked up about this... for me? I don't like the labels that are constantly being attached to us humans.

    I hope stuff works out for you and people don't throw the book at you! be who you are!

  4. #4


    Im not sure whether to feel good, or sorry for you now.
    Living a lie, and being forced to deny oneslef is pretty much one of the most painful experiences someone could possibly make. And in your case, it sounds like you had to suffer for a long time.
    But youve finally decided to free yourself. Congratulations!
    Even though some stupid people might not understand it, I can assure you that you did the right thing.
    Being who you actually are is not easy, but as you already mentioned, its the only fair thing.
    I really hope your coming out gives you some relief from depression, and has no negative effect on your job...
    or your drinking habits ^^

    Good luck with everything!
    Stay strong!

    ... On a less serious note:
    Maybe, now that youve already come out with the truth, its time for another change.
    You should change your avatar to something more appropriate...

    I recommend...

    ... something like...

    ... this:

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Okay, okay, I know, I know, I know. Im sorry. I just couldnt resist, alright?
    Im weak.

  5. #5


    That took no small amount of courage, especially if, as you say, your work environment has a homophobic element to it. So my respect and congratulations to you. I think everyone has a right to be happy and not having to hide who you are is a large part of that. I look forward to the day when one does not have to "come out". You could just casually talk about your girl/boyfriend in conversation, regardless of your gender, without having to launch into an explanation/coming out story. It would just be accepted as normal that who you love is who you love, no special 'yeah I'm gay' addendum required. I think the world has a very long way to go before that happens, unfortunately, but it takes human society a very long time change anything, and slowly it is improving.

    Be happy, be you, and don't make excuses for it. Stay cool and I hope everything goes ok at work.

  6. #6


    Wow. Just, wow.

    That took some real spirit and courage.

    It's empowering to see people willing to go the distance to live truly and openly as themselves. I have not come to that point in my life yet. but I also feels like the only thing to cause such an outlash would be the impending build-up of distress in one's life that would cause them to just let it all go to everyone around them and release the bonds of identity.

    With that in mind, I'm sorry you've had to go through what you did and hope this will be the opening of a chapter in your life that you will cherish as the time when you could be truly happy to be your true self.

  7. #7


    Something to think about: I don't tell everybody when I've had sex with my wife. Negroes don't run down the street and say "Hey! I've got dark skin and kinky hair!"

    For the most part, nobody cares who you lust after or what you do in the bedroom. If you could talk privately and honestly with people you work, live and play with, and you said "I'm gay"....... most of them would say "Well, Duh! We knew that, when did you figure it out?"

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    I thought that word was added to the Internationally Recognised Things That No One Says Any More list back in 1980...?

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    I thought that word was added to the Internationally Recognised Things That No One Says Any More list back in 1980...?
    <shrug> Gays can rebel against the fact that two sexes are required for thngs like mating and marriage, I can rebel against extremes of political correctness and the decline of our language and culture. Anyone who finds something wrong with the term "Negro" is trying way too hard to find offense. If I were a Negro, I would consider "African-American" a condescending term. It also wastes ink, electricity, and wears out my keyboard faster, (16 characters vs. 5) thus contributing to the destruction of the environment.

  10. #10


    To the Op its very hard to deal with especially in some industries and work places i hope nothing majorly bad comes of it and you its goes unnoticed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    <shrug> Gays can rebel against the fact that two sexes are required for thngs like mating and marriage,
    Hey pretty soon those darn gays will be able to get same sex marriage as well. Just like dem negros got their interracial marriage. What is the world coming to these days =/

    Also I dont think tiny was being that serious neither am i :p

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