For many years, (probably like many of us) I have wondered if anyone I know or have known is AB/DL. Even after talking with my wife about it and having made peace with it in our marriage, it can still be a lonely path. Furthermore, I also tend to struggle with shame (even though I've done a LOT of work around that and have released a great deal) and knowing another person in flesh and blood might be somehow strangely validating and encouraging.
However, I grew up in a small town in SE Washington and still live within a a short drive of it in Oregon. Small population = small likelihood of finding someone with this relatively rare and unspoken kink. Well, through the wonders of the world wide web, I got up the idea of running a search through one of the diaper personals sites. One of them in particular offers searches by zipcode. Well, to my surprise, I found an individual who had listed his real name and had posted his real picture (wearing a diaper). To my greater surprise, I knew this individual (not well; but I know who he is and have at least spoken to him). He attended the high school I myself graduated from as well as the church I now work at; is maybe 10 years younger than me.
After I got over my shock of seeing someone I actually know (and that he would put his real information on the internet and associate it with a diaper fetish) who has the same interests as I, I felt a great deal of disappointment because I simply don't think it's possible for me to contact him about it. Of course my interest in conversations would be entirely on the friendship/support level (I'm happily married and not looking for any kind of side-relationship); but still, it would be cool to know someone in person who is on the same path. Perhaps some of what I have learned about myself and life could be helpful to him...
But the risks for me professionally, in opening myself up to a church member who is little more than a stranger to me, are far too huge for too little in return. I suppose If I were desperate for approval or wallowing in shame, or if I knew he were in crisis, it might be different. But in my current place in life, it just isn't worth the risk.
I just find it ironic that after all these years, I finally discover someone with a very similar path to me That I actually know, from the same area, tradition, and school ---- and yet I can't realistically make contact.
Has anyone else had similar thoughts/experiences?
What would you do if you were in my situation? (i.e. employed church leader making this kind of anonymous discovery without any real 'need' to reveal oneself)