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Thread: POLL: Are opposite gender ABs/Caretakers that are NOT also significant others OK?

  1. #1

    Default POLL: Are opposite gender ABs/Caretakers that are NOT also significant others OK?

    Yes, no, or case-by-case? And if yes, if the AB has a significant other in real life is it OK for the caretaker to live in? Regardless of answer should a "babysitter" be sought for when the primary caretaker needs a break? Write your answers and related opinions below!

  2. #2


    I think it has to be done on a case by case basis. Some people are ok with things like that, and other aren't.

    I personally would not be.

  3. #3


    If one's SO or spouse is aware and consenting, it seems like a fine thing. Having a discreet caretaker relationship that involves things like diaper changes, feedings, and other very close interaction would be hard to distinguish from "cheating" in most people's eyes, however.

  4. #4


    I agree with the others. This falls into the same set of considerations that any open relationship would. Maybe for thee, but not necessarily for me, and vice versa. If you and your partner agree with it and think it's acceptable and set up your ground rules and conditions in advance, then go for it. If your partner is not ok with it, then it's a no-go and it's not ok. In the case of an ABDL babysitter, some might draw a distinction between babying stuff and diaper changes and other sorts of play. Some might say that forming that sort of emotional bond with someone else, even if that other person never sees your naughty bits, is cheating in and of itself. Some might say that as long as sex isn't happening then it's ok.

  5. #5


    case-by-case... all parties (you, significant other, caretaker, any other household members) should consent to this... if someone does not consent, it should not be done...

  6. #6


    I see no problem with it...

  7. #7


    If all parties can agree on some terms then I don't see why it can't be OK however if one person, especially the SO of the AB, feels that they would be very uncomfortable with the situation then it shouldn't be allowed. Some will be able to make it work, most probably won't so it is no different to any other relationship really.

  8. #8


    It's very risky ground. Look at it this way, even if all parties agree it can still cause problems. At a later time all parties may not agree. This causes a very nasty emotional situation and can destroy one or both relationships.

  9. #9


    If I wanted a caretaker I'd personally want it to be my girlfriend. If she wouldn't do it I'd just do without it.

  10. #10


    If all parties agree and if boundaries are set, it might be okay. It really depends on the people.

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